Quiet: The Power Of Introverts In A World That Can't Stop Talking

[Tanishq]

Introverts can do these things, too. I do it all the time, now. It just takes more energy for us.

I always wondered why I get drained so quickly? Perhaps it is, I lean more towards introversion? Yes, I do think when I am quiet. I do introspection and sometimes beat up myself,too.

 

[JustBe]

Is anyone still reading? I've been distracted, but I'm going to read some more tonight.

 

[JustBe]

I'm only 1/4 of the way through the book but highlighting and loving it! Is anyone else still reading?

 

[a3a2]

I am still reading, but have been busy at a conference.

The info I gleaned from this book has been very helpful at the conference. I tend to get quite overwhelmed at these gatherings, but this time I have simply given myself permission to do what I do best....listen attentively to one person at a time. I have retreated when I felt the need to retreat without feeling guilt, and as a result, have gotten so much more out of the conference than I otherwise would have.

 

[a3a2]

I do need to get my own copy of this book, as the copy I am currently using is due to be returned....I think I will also go through and highlight. The book has been a real life changer for me.

 

[JustBe]

I found good stuff about the book on You Tube by searching the word introverts. There's a TED talk by the author among other things if anyone is still into this :)

 

[carey023]

I'm definitely an introvert but find that when I'm around a person I really trust, especially one that I don't see very often, I tend to do all the talking. I think it's because I spend so much time alone/thinking that when I AM around someone I want to talk to, it all comes out at once! I also tend to turn down invitations to go out with roommates or sometimes sit alone before entering a group, not because I'm shy but because I really enjoy the alone time. Have just purchased this book and can't wait to start reading!

 

[Hashi]

Has anyone finished this book? I've just read it and am wondering what other people thought of it as a whole.

I don't know if I need to put a spoiler, since I'm going to talk about the whole book...

It's hard to know but I think I have a naturally extravert personality, then have become quite introverted due to trauma. Sometimes I think and act like one and sometimes like the other. So I can see both sides. I think a lot of people have a mixture anyway.

I got really confused about the relationship between introverted, highly reactive, highly sensitive and shy. At first she seemed to be separating them out, then I couldn't keep track of what was what, then right at the end (why not at the beginning?) there was a note saying she decided not to distinguish between them. I thought it was a real muddle.

I found it useful at the end when she gave some examples of people in real life situations. I wish there'd been more of that in the book and less science (I'd have been happy with just the outcomes, not details of every test and study).

I think she completely copped out of talking about perceived rudeness/aloofness. Isn't that one of the biggest issues? I think part of the problem was what came to light for me through what one of her case study people (an introvert) said about extraverts - that socialising, chatting etc is effortless for them so let them do the work. That was shocking to me in terms of how much it was misreading things. I don't think extraverts find it effortless to keep things going, I think it's that extraverts feel it's necessary and are very uncomfortable if things are too quiet in a social setting, so they make the effort - yes, it is easier for them to a degree but it can be a real effort, especially after some time and especially with quiet counterparts. That's why there's frustration if they feel that more introverted people aren't "bothering to do their part". It's exactly the "leave the extravert to do the work" idea that's so upsetting for extraverts! Obviously, the more introverted people have their own take on things and it's really good that the book showed that. But with a misconception like that about extraverts, I don't see how the perception of rudeness/aloofness can be resolved - and I think that's a shame.

I would pay a lot of money to NOT go to that Anthony Robbins seminar!

 

[Tanishq]

This is nice analysis of you.

I think a lot of people have a mixture anyway.

Hashi, I am also like you. As I am working more and more in offline world, my extraversion is coming out and using introversion for critical thinking and some planning.

When I have been hit by crucial events, I have become introvert and stopped going outside. Trauma will do that. It's an inside battle and you will come to know many inner things.

Nice post.

But I couldn't understand something "perception of rudeness/aloofness.":confused:

 

[Hashi]

But I couldn't understand something "perception of rudeness/aloofness."

This is about how more extraverted people can view quiet people who don't take part in conversations. They often think the quiet person is rude, arrogant or uncaring.

My opinion is that most extraverted people think it's important to make an effort to keep the conversation going. So if someone isn't talking, the extravert often thinks that the quiet person isn't making an effort, and that they don't care about other people or the group.

 

[Tanishq]

Agree Hashi. Extravert people can't imagine what might be going on for introvert people. but introvert people can think for extravert people.

 

[Hashi]

Extravert people can't imagine what might be going on for introvert people. but introvert people can think for extravert people.

Exactly! Nicely put.