My Daughter Got Beat Up By Her Husband Last Night While She Was Asleep

[Abrasky]

If any of you have been through this please tell me what you would have liked to hear and experience. i am afraid of saying or doing the wrong things.

I don't know if this helps, but my mom said she left my stepdad because she saw my strength. Maybe seeing the strength of her children would help comfort her, because they are victims of this domestic violence too.

My neighbor was violent to his female partner once a week once. Ambulances would get called And when he beat her child up once in the driveway, I intervened and told him where to go, (in a polite way, just the tone was quite scary.) And then his wife left him the following week and they broke up. Children are very powerful little reasons not to be in a violent relationship. And men that do this are scared scared little lambs, that run away from women that stand up to them, that aren't their partners. This bloke might be a bit scared of you at the moment. Dont' provoke, be out of arms reach, Keep the frypan handy.

 

[JustBe]

Thinking of you Gizmo and hoping things are better for you and your family tonight.

 

[nursenurse]

There is so much "business' for your daughter to take care of that I would not know where to start. Been there, done that, unfortunately. Even if she doesn't check in to a shelter, there must be services she can access to help her along with what she should do. My first thought was banking, money. She needs her own account if she doesn't have one. Only she knows how much of a threat he is, so I don't know how she would feel about taking some money out of the joint account if there is one and putting it in her own.

Gizmo, I feel so much for you. None of you deserves any of this. It will sort itself out, but much like you have to distance yourself a wee bit from your husband, so you need to from your daughter, in that, in the end, the choices are hers to make. I think if she is your daughter, she will have her head screwed on right. So easy to tell folks what to do from here, so much harder to act upon them in real life. Hugs and prayers coming your way, and hope Karma is a b***h to him sooner than later.

 

[Venusian]

(((Gizmo))) I just saw this thread. I wish I had some advice but I have never been in this situation. Just give your daughter a big hug and give her as much support as she wants and you can handle. Hug your grandkids and just love them. They need to know you are there for them. They must be so confused right now and they need the stability only a grandparent that loves them can give.

I will be thinking of you and hope things calm down.

 

[Abstract]

that her husband was no good to her in jail

This astonishes me Gismo. Him in jail is of great use to her at present.

I think you are doing everything right. Just having someone kind around is helpful. Maybe whenever the opportunity arises you could remind her that there is never any justification for someone doing this in case she starts OKing it and getting drawn back in. The rest is up to her. I think a shelter is a great idea for her.

Sending you support.

 

[NIKI]

Thinking of you and your family gizmo. His violence is unacceptable :mad: and I am so glad she knows this. She is very lucky to have you to lean on. I am praying for all of you.

 

[MomOfTwo]

Gizmo,

So many women hide in shame when they have been abused. You did a great job raising your daughter because she had great self esteem and confidence to go to you and the police. If she goes back to him he will do it again. I am glad that the police took away his guns. Having guns in the house is something most Canadians just don't understand.

I hope everything gets settled soon for your daughter and grandchildren. She is lucky to have you for her mom.

 

[Sammy]

This is the first I have been on in a while. I am SOOO sorry to hear this. So proud of your daughter for going to the police. I can't write the words I am thinking of that man. I am keeping you and yours in my prayers. I wish I could help. You have so much on your plate, make sure you are doing what you need to do to take care of yourself, too. You can't help all those who are counting on you if you crash. Don't try to carry loads that aren't yours to carry. Breathe.
Hugs.:hug:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I wrote out a check for two hundred and fifty and she went to the store and got all new locks for her doors. She went home and is putting them on herself. She promised me that if he got out and cut off her phone she would come back here.

I am assuming that he is still in jail. I am afraid for her. My husband is sleeping next to me. He is not feeling good. I have a bad headache.

I sure appreciate the help and support from all of you. It helps me so much.

She said that she would call me but she has not called me yet. I called her and talked to the oldest granddaughter and she said she was helping her mom to put on the locks.

I think I will go to bed early tonight. I am so drained. He is going to be so mad when he gets out of jail. i hope for the best and prepare for the worst. I am in so much pain. My daughter got her car back today. She must be doing alot better to go home.

I am so afraid for her. My husband never did anything like that to me.

The granddaughters were not too happy with him. They are all very close with each other.

I just called my daughter and she got a call from the police and they said they were going to release him and so he is released now. She has all of the locks changed now. She said it was hard but she did it. They are all scared. She is going to call the police and ask them to bring the protective order to her house and to patrol the area. She is really scared. I told her she could come back here but she said no. I told her I would pay for her to turn on her phone. We can do that tommorow.

I hope he stays away and leaves her alone.

 

[Abrasky]

I hope that he leaves her daughter alone, you take care. : )

 

[nursenurse]

Oh, Gizmo, I am sorry she chose to go home. I hope she is strong enough to say no to him. I pray you have continued strength throughout this ordeal. I never pray for anything bad for anyone, but one can always dream that maybe he doesn't see the taxi coming while he is crossing the street. You need some peace of mind, and your daughter needs to be safe in order for you to have that. I hope for your sake and for the children's sake, that she is. Blessings to you always.

 

[Froggie]

((((Gizmo)))), just went through this thread. I'm so sorry that your daughter and grand-daughters are going through something like this. I can imagine the anguish you are going through right now. The new locks are on, the guns have been taken and there will be police patrol. Those will be good messages for the fellow. She will have time to call the police if he hassels. As for his father, I agree with one of the members up above «like father like son».

But honestly, she would be better in a shelter in the time being while things get cooled off and a decision \ direction taken and to be able to evaluate the level of danger with this man. I imagine this is not the first time he's hit your girl ... cause if it is, she should really go to a shelter as this is a sign of a huge escalation. I'm talking through experience not just as victime of family violence but also as a volunteer worker in a shelter during my psychologie studies at university.

You are all in my thoughts and prayers. May the Angels and Gardiens stay posted at the house around your girls.

Thank you for being there for them, you are a great person with a lot of responsibility - don't forget to think about yourself during these hard times. :hug: