Attachment Issues

[Springer80]

I'm beginning to see what you mean by ME.

Oo that sounds interesting....if you fancy having a stab at defining your interpretation perhaps?...

I don't know what the heck you're saying so how do you expect me to work out the change? Why would you want to test this underwater anyway?

The better I get the more mad I feel???? I take it that's you too..I swear I had a more definite handle on which way was up when I had full on acute PTSD. I'll get my wetsuit. :ninja:

Without some sort of resolution for the EP, the adult is not capable of love, relationship, functioning properly as an adult in an adult world. And this I will have to sort out pretty soon, or accept the split or brokenness as a kind of disability and learn to live with it as best I can. But things will have to go one way or the other pretty soon.

I'm secretly having a little worry about this. It's on a back burner and I try not to let it get out of hand, i.e. I try to ignore it and carry on, hoping that it will materialize one day. UUUuuugh Pencil, I feel a reality check coming on. :grumpy:

 

[Pencil]

if you fancy having a stab at defining your interpretation perhaps?

I'll give it a try - on dry land :)

I started a thread 'The things that bind us to ourselves', but abandoned it as 'the things that bind me to myself' are still 'too far out'. Let me quote from there:

"About 20 years ago I read a very forgettable novel, but something on the blurb made an enormous impression on me and has been with me ever since. It went something like: '... in the far-flung reaches of the psyche, where the things that bind us to ourselves endure.'

It made me aware that the things that really bind me to myself are untouchable, inviolable, utterly private and - enduring.

In my darkest moments I can still travel to these 'far-flung reaches' of my psyche, and find the the things that bind me to myself. I guess the more violations there are, the 'further flung' these reaches become - in order to protect ourselves and the things that are most indisputably 'us', and most precious to us. But, they always endure, and they always bind us to ourselves."

For me, ME is the part that has never been touched, that can never be touched (some might then see it as soul or spirit, but that's not where I'm going) - the essential ME that can not be pathalogised. And I think this is important, VERY important, to me, and not ME :D , or actually me and ME (okay, I'll be serious now) as I don't want absolutely everything in my life to become a symptom of some pathology - and I've lost sight of this. And I now see what you mean when you talk about the ANP as a false construct.

Now, how much change do I get?

 

[Springer80]

That's it Pencil, it's the light inside the Albino Croissant and it's the bit underneath that the belly EP is hugging onto too tight.

the essential ME that can not be pathalogised.

Your ten pence short of a bob, but you knew that already!!!;):D

 

[Core]

I so wish I'd read this thread when my mind was still working, it is amazing. (Then again, wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the wrecked brain and what caused it.)

 

[Springer80]

so wish I'd read this thread when my mind was still working,

It's all right Core, if I try to hard to 'get it' I end up giggling to myself, it's all very well following all the twists and turns but I'm not sure it helps much apart from making me laugh as I loose track of what I thought in the first place. :rolleyes: :laugh:

It's a sort of surrealist concilliatory defeat? :O_o:

 

[Pencil]

I so wish I'd read this thread when my mind was still working,

You think Springer and I have working brains? :roflmao:

Seriously: help us figure this out.

Love your new avatar!

 

[Core]

Help you figure stuff out? I admire the both of you, and pretty much everyone on here, for being so very intelligent, wise, insightful and compassionate and lots more, I'm at an extreme with self-doubt and I can't remember much of the thread, I just know I'm amazed at your insights in yourself and so thankful for the sharing and want to learn and understand and empathize with all that is written here. I've never admired so many people at any one time before. Shouldn't even have posted, I interrupted you. :dead:

Thank you for sharing those pictures, Springer (it was you, yes?), they made a very strong impression (I even remember them!). And thank you Pencil, there's lots of symbolism in it.

 

[Pencil]

I swear I had a more definite handle on which way was up when I had full on acute PTSD.

Same here. I didn't have this kind of emotional double vision.

Shouldn't even have posted, I interrupted you.

No you didn't.

 

[Springer80]

Shouldn't even have posted, I interrupted you. :dead:

Don't say that Core!

I'm at an extreme with self-doubt and I can't remember much of the thread, I just know I'm amazed...and want to learn and understand and empathize with all that is written here

Take your time all that stuff is very exhausting, whatever insight and compassion there is on this forum has been learned the hard way and in the absence of it 'on the outside'. Once your on here you should be able to expect compassion.

Your avatar is very appropriate actually.....:woot:

 

[Pencil]

Core

Your avatar: is it an eclipse or a black hole? Is it a

surrealist concilliatory defeat?

?

You see, you BELONG here with Springer!

 

[Core]

It is an eclipse, because my name is actually the Norwegian word for sun, and feelings are mostly dark and black these days, but there's still some light, just not as much as usual. A black hole would be much cooler though.

I understand all three of those words, yet my brain won't make sense of them, which is just silly. And now this thread is definitely off topic, if it was a flight from North America to China, it would currently be going towards the South Pole. :p

 

[Pencil]

We scared Core off, Springer!

The issue of 'solving it', of course, brings me back full circle to ... *whispering* - the 'physical'. Aaargghhh I' too scared to even say it, as someone is bound to come along and tell me to hug a pet or sleep with my friends or something. The therapist is adamant that talking about it will in the end resolve it, but concedes that it could take several years :roflmao:. To me it seems that every day just solidifies the NO TOUCH obsession that has developed.