xena21-I think you are talking about the concept, fake it til you make it, and although I know some that has worked for and may be worth trying, I guess I am talking about something different. When we are in the overpowering symptoms of ptsd, I think it is unlikely that this will work. For those without it, it might work following life situations, such as grief, loss of loved one, broken marriage.
Believe me, I am not Nancy Sunshine, I have to really work at it and harder some days. One thing that I do have on my side is that I use to be very resilient because of the use of humor. We all have strengths and weaknesses, this is one of my strengths. I think helps most people to do an honest inventory of their strengths and weaknesses. Many things about us we can change, some are nearly impossible. Thats why we can use our strengths to enhance our lives rather than try to be someone we are not. It became impossible to find anymore humor when things crashed and I was at my worst.
When brain chemistry does get in the way, what can we do about it? If you are very depressed, it likely is not the time to push self to change diet, exercise, eliminate alcohol if you calm with a glass of wine nightly, and so forth. It might take meds to get past that really bad period. When the meds help with the mood,( help greatly, moderately, or slightly), thats when we can re-evaluate what else we are doing that prevents us from getting better. Usually meds combined with counseling works best. While trauma work is usually necessary, many of us are not ready to address following a time of crisis or high symptoms or reactivity. Often we need to just stabilize self first, and be able to maintain some amount of elevated mood. That means not adding more stressors and it means beginning to seek things that are good for the brain during this period. This period might be months or years. We dont all have the same capabilities. Our traumas are unique to us and so is our ability to progress.
I do think it is a time for baby steps. It might be walking around the block one time a day for a month, even when its too hot or too cold outside. Even when we dont feel like it. Its a time to examine the food we are putting in our body, if we eat regularly (I have a history of not doing so and this is a challenge for me). It could be a time to reduce alcohol if one uses. I guess I am talking about a holistic approach. Add meditation if that works. Examine unhealthy relationships and eliminate those that are not worth it if necessary. Look at other stressors. If a job creates symptoms, think about changing careers. If there is something you always wanted to try that would might bring joy, explore it, ask a friend to go with you. Often by now we have been isolating, but if meds lift the depression, we have developed a habit of "isolation" and we have to work to break that habit. Often counseling will help to identify things that we do that are self sabotaging or destructive.
I am not an advocate of saying everything is great to appease others. I think it is harmful to ourselves. Instead, maybe its more like-(Today sucked but I got through it, I am stronger than I think I am.) Then focus on the specific strength or what helped. For a long time, I understood, I got it in my head, but not my heart. For example, I was/am co-dependent and on a rational level I knew that I was an enabler. My brain got this concept, but I felt guilt when I tried to do the healthier thing. The guilt was worse than the enabling for me. Yet I knew it was not healthy to enable others. The struggle between the two, my brain and heart fighting felt like insanity but I continued to go to individual therapy, group therapy, read books, attend meetings, journal about it, etc. I did what by brain knew made sense, but still felt bad. There came a day that the person I was enabling threatened to hit me. I had an ahaa moment and my heart caught up with my brain.
All of our issues are different, but one thing we have in common is that we do have a distorted view of the world and others and ourselves. When symptoms relieve at all, it is a time to explore our distortions. Some people need meds for the rest of life. There is nothing wrong with this, we wouldnt even question if it were for diabetes. I am not opposed to meds at all. I am told that I will have to take a med for the rest of my life for a traumatic brain injury from a fall that causes daytime sleepiness. It is not narcolepsy, but not far off. I have to accept that. Years ago, I thought I could beat it and stopped taking for a few months, I got very depressed as I had no quality of life and felt exhausted all the time. Yet the meds cause other side effects. So I have had to adjust my attitude about it. I have to accept these side effects if I want to participate in life.
Please know that I am not saying that I always have a good attitude, I do not, but it is when I awfulize, expect too much of myself, feel like I have to put on a happy face, etc, my thinking and attitude actually gets worse. I know my thinking is distorted, I have trust issues, fear issues, expect too much of myself, etc, which is why I need to check in with counselor regularly until I have managed it better for an amount of time. I did not learn to nurture myself as a young person, I did learn it later in life. But when I experienced a large trauma a few years ago, actually two within 2 years, I lost all nurturing ability. That inner critic that I grew up with took over and my thinking became most distorted over time because I did not know how to intercept those negative messages and did not have T to share with. I think happiness can only come from within, so while I need help of Dr and therapist, I am looking inward for it. I am grateful for small progress now, and am happier since I have accepted this. I hope this explains what I am saying better.
