Undiagnosed Was I Sexually Abused?

[EvenStrongerNow]

I guess the expert could've been saying that as a means to side with the defense for one reason or another.

Can hypnotherapy help repressed memories?

 

[anthony]

Can hypnotherapy help repressed memories?

No. Hypnotherapy is suggestive, often leading to memory implantation and other problems. It is the one therapy you wouldn't use with repressed memory.

You can't force a memory... you have to be patient and wait, based on whether your brain will ever release the memory, or whether it even has it stored to begin with.

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

Ohhhhhhhh. Ew. Didn't know that. Glad someone told me because I was thinking about it.

 

[WillyKat]

I guess the expert could've been saying that as a means to side with the defense for one reason or another.

There is one "expert" out there, by the name of Richard Ofshe, Ph.D and he testifies at a lot of trials. He claims there is no such thing as repressed memories. They are all implanted by ... therapists. And this guy is a professor at Berkeley! Obviously, he's completely wrong for people like me that recovered memories long before I ever talked to a therapist. He must have some personal axe to grind.

 

[anthony]

People take all sorts of sides and views with these things, mainly because some things just can't be logically explained based on science, or they simply don't want to believe something could occur outside their view.

Repressed memories are certainly real, and evidenced, along with their treatment, which is basically.... do nothing. If it exists, it will come. If not, it won't... and trying to make it will only implant memories in an attempt at some type of resolution / understanding. It is often that a person simply doesn't record a memory in highly traumatic events due to dissociation. They simply don't record it to begin with because their focus is dissociated onto something else, thus their memory is the dissociated thought / focus, and not the event. Also heavily proven with other studies of human behaviour and just how much, or little, we can take in at certain times.

 

[WillyKat]

Just to echo what anthony just said, for me, I have a hard time distinguishing real memory from logical deductions about what must have happened. For example, do I remember being taken up into the loft of the barn or have I deduced that I was taken up there because that's where it happened? Do I remember three years of being threatened (to keep quiet) or is that just a reasonable assumption?

None of this is easy. If it were, we'd remember it just like we remember anything else?

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome. :)

 

[violets]

Hi Sarah (｀・ω・´)”

I want to say "I used to" feel the same way you say you're feeling now-- but I'm 24 and I still doubt myself, every day, even though I have chosen to live as though my dad did do the things I dream about him doing to me.

It's hard to tell myself "always believe yourself," but I know from reading what you have written that I believe you. I don't think you would have these feelings out of nowhere. It's terrifying, beyond terrifying to think that these things really happened; that anyone who is supposed to love you could do those things to you. But the bottom line is-- even if people say or imply that you could ever make something like this up-- you would never ever make something like this up.

My mom also said she didn't think I had the "signs of abuse," but I think that this is wishful thinking, unfortunately. You've shown the signs by reaching out for help in the first place.

For me, I remember things most clearly after I've felt okay to cry, rage, grieve over "nothing," with someone who listens to me without judging. It can be really hard to find someone to do that with, and even so I often find myself re-repressing memories I thought I'd cleared up. But I've also found, on my own, that if I let out these confused, ashamed, mixed up feelings on paper-- writing, smearing an entire page black with ink-- anything that leaves physical evidence behind once my feelings have passed-- sometimes the memories come back.

Please don't ever dismiss yourself for not remembering something clearly. If you feel something, that's legitimate. We can't remember things clearly when they're too much to bear anyway-- so if it helps, you can think of the lost memories as a kind of proof by absence. Like blank spots in the sky where you know there should be stars.

My heart goes out to you. Are you safe? I hope that you can find the safety and the help you need. I ran away when I was 19, finally. It's terrifying being alone, but I'm glad I made that choice. If I could talk to myself then, I would say--

Always believe in yourself.
You have the right to express all your feelings, positive and negative.
It's going to be okay.
And I believe you, even if you don't right now.

 

[Abstract]

Welcome here.

I think you have had some great input here and I agree with much of it. Whatever you do do please don't do hypnosis to recover memories. Memory is much more flexible than we think it is.

What is important is your real feelings about this and your safety. As Nimkekaa said, listen to yourself. Your feelings are not for nothing. And as Intothelight said, these two men are known offenders. That is important to remember.

Maybe your mind knows the speed you need to go at and it will reveal things as you are ready. I think it can be OK to start off working with your feelings and what you do remember or think you remember. Keep in mind that even covert sexual abuse can be very affecting.