A Question About Anger And Anxiety

[quaintpapercut]

For me the best use of anger is to channel it into motivation to change.

Yes, this is the anger that I use to never let anyone get the best of me and has been a very motivating force for me to achieve what I have. The anger I feel where it's purely driven by emotion tends to occur when I am triggered or feeling unsafe.

 

[The Albatross]

It's a throwback from fight of flight. We get the adrenaline shot to initiate change. Timed exposure challenges help me normalize certain experiences so I don't get the "shots and rush" anymore.

New to me Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Metaphor. On this same channel is also the "Hands as Thoughts" metaphor which I have found useful.

 

[quaintpapercut]

Yes for sure, fight or flight. But I'm wondering if its more because I have an inability to regulate my emotions?

 

[The Albatross]

I had to to learn about emotional regulation and disregulation. For me the solution was increasing my frustration tolerance. I have a link about frustration tolerance if you want it.

 

[Core]

Albatross, I would like it, if I may. :) Sounds like useful information to hold onto.

 

[quaintpapercut]

Yes please!

 

[The Albatross]

Just started a personal conversation because it's a pdf file of copyrighted material. The book though is by William Knaus, How to Conquer Your Frustrations. I have been in several webinars with the author. There is also a Smart Recovery link to "Low Frustration Tolerance" I'll shoot you the link on the personal conversation, but put it here so if someone wants to google they can.

 

[ninja]

I agree with most others who've said that anger is, on average, easier to channel and "purge". For every outburst fueled by fury, I experience an inner, quiet turmoil of rage that refuses all attempts to be rid of. This kind of anger is just as debilitating as anxiety for me, and I feel just as powerless as when I'm depressed. It is the second type that forbids me from making a sound, from taking an idle step, away. I am left so angry that I can't physically move.

 

[The Albatross]

I inadvertently posted the newest (for me) Acceptance and Commitment Therapy metaphor. I find ACT metaphors beneficial. I want to leave it up I guess. My favorite ACT metaphor though is on youtube and is "The Chessboard". When I saw that vid, there was a fundamental shift for me that has led to some siginificant improvement in my ability to separate "myself" from the thoughts and feelings and not joining or resuming the struggle with myself which is ... actually, endless.

 

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to separate "myself" from the thoughts and feelings and not joining or resuming the struggle with myself which is ... actually, endless.

I think I'm taking this way off topic but wanted to mention for me I'm already to separated from myself as I'm highly dissociative. My cognition and emotions are often separated and I lean more towards the cognition side (very numbed out). I need to find a way to bring the two closer together.

 

[The Albatross]

I can relate to what you shared Ninja. It was common for me to get so angry that I would open my mouth and no sound would come out. It would shut down. My spouse and family recognized and began comparing it to the famous painting "The Silent Scream". I have learned a lot about my tells and warnings. I am pretty aware now when my levels start to near the danger zone.

When I was a child at 9 I began passing out/fainting. I continued to faint, seemingly unpredictably until I had my last episode at about 37. From the time I was about 15 to the time I was 37 I had become very astute at recognizing the subtle changes and cues in what I was feeling. I could most often avoid completely passing out, or would at least be able to control "where or when" I passed out. Having had the experience, in later years, I could pass out with awareness (hear and speak) but have no ability to rise or see. My experiences with anger and rage are like that. There are subtle cues... I call them yellow flags. If I don't heed them and barrel on ... well I'm gonna hit the danger zone.

 

[The Albatross]

Disassociated is no way to go through life friend. There are other more integrated methods.