Do You Hide Parts Of Your Self/life Away?

[Deleted member 1860]

I'm wondering if other sufferers hide parts of themselves or their lives away from everyone else as a protective measure.

Because, well, I do.

There's a part of my life that I keep hidden from everyone. It's one of those sorts of things that most people don't hide. If I told my family/friends about it, I think they'd be shocked that I was able to hide something like this for so long. (Almost 3 years now.)

It's nothing shameful. It's just mine, all mine, and I feel the need to keep it that way. I like that it's out of the way of harsh judgement and nosy questions.

I haven't even posted about this on the forum because I want to keep it as private as possible.

Sorry if this is vague as its intentionally so. If I said any more, I'm afraid I'd give away too much!

 

[Fire329]

I find I hide most things. I'm so cracked right now, any more wiggling and my yolk will come out. I even hide the PTSD as, even though part of me knows better, I still feel guilt / shame / weakness for having it. It goes against my core / personality to be weak or show emotion. I know its wrong, but that's my answer to the question.

 

[SweetPeaandSunBird]

Well, I'm a Scorpio + Sufferer -- Ha! So absolutely. Just count all the boxes, jars, tins, in my house -- hell!, just in my den! -- anything that can hide some trinket that speaks some special language to me is hidden away. Because my mate doesn't speak Spanish, if I have to label something for myself and that something speaks "special -- shhh!" I label it in Spanish. Then, I put something on top of it that seems so uninteresting. If he's not a fan of some magazine or cd, it's on top of box number 321! Ha!

And, sad-to-say, I'm very territorial.

 

[intrasearching]

I do indeed hide parts of myself away from others intentionally. What's interesting is that I have recently realized it and have been noticing it for the past few days. Around people I am typically a pretty pleasant, often entertaining person. When I am not with friends I am usually just quiet and mild-mannered, though I do still exude an air of pleasantness when possible. I have been thinking lately that most people would likely be very surprised to know that when I am home at night I am often struggling to keep it all together. And all throughout the day I am having battles in my head and against my emotions.

I guess the internet is where I unload and get more honest. I tell some friends that I have PTSD, but I keep the details of my suffering totally hidden.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Yes, many things. From temperament to ambition.

 

[Jlso111187]

I do as well. I am afraid that they won't understand and may even look at me differently.

 

[ashdawn8287]

Yes I do have something I hide. Everyone has "demons" in there closests. Having secrets weighed me down so on here I just am honest. I guess it's my attempt to get over the years of hurt I experienced by myself not for hiding things, but for not being able to get over the fear of what other people think, if that makes sense.

I always cared way too much of what others thought now that I don't, it's easier than the feeling of hiding something, to me.

I feel on here, I unload and it makes me feel better than unloading on myself and trapping myself with bad thoughts.

I wouldn't worry too much. You're entitled to personal privacy and you can choose who is appropriate to tell, who will not judge, etc. You have the power of choice in regards to that.

If you choose no one because you feel it will hurt more than help than go for it.

Either way you have the power and control over your secret.

 

[Pencil]

SoL, I hide things big time! It also makes me feel in control. Territorial? VERY!!

I think ALL people have things they never disclose to others, but I do think with mental illness this becomes exaggerated, as our 'things' would not be seen as quirks, but would further isolate us. The anonymity of this site has helped me to say things on here that no-one in the 3D world knows. But I guess it also has to do with the fact that these types of things don't come up in everyday conversations. Besides, I don't think anyone I know in the 3D would be able to understand.

And now I have a question: Does it make you feel lonely?

 

[p-no]

Yes. There are some things that are so fragile that I can not risk exposing them to anyone. If someone didn't realize the extreme extent of how fragile they are and broke them (so to speak), my existence might be at stake. At least it feels that way.

 

[Pencil]

And I have another question, since I'm not in therapy: Would you reveal these things to your therapist?

 

[ashdawn8287]

Pencil- for me I tell my therapist everything. One of the few I trust because I know she can't tell people things because of confidentiality. I tell her whatever is on my mind. She guides me through it and helps me get my life manageable without judging and with encouragement and by small steps. I listen to her and take her advice because I know she is guiding me through horrible things. She has my best interest in her hands and career.

 

[Mayday]

if other sufferers hide parts of themselves or their lives away from everyone else as a protective measure...I like that it's out of the way of harsh judgement and nosy questions.

Yes, and definitely as a protective measure, from some people more so than others.