Do You Hide Your Diagnosis From Friends And Family?

[Akoc]

OP here, I didn't mean any disrespect or to upset anyone that I laugh at what my T considers my ability to function. I am well aware that there are many here that do not have the things that I do. My laughter was meant that while T considers me to be high functioning I disagree. Yes I have children and a career, no doubt about that what wasn't said was that I work in an abusive environment that my T frequently tells me I need to leave but I can't seem to find the power to do so. My children and I are closer than I was with my parents but I attribute that to the fact that I don't abuse them and do everything in my power to protect them even from me. I also laugh because I can't cry. After 6 years of therapy 2 1/2 with my current I still am unable to open up emotionally even when I am alone.

I also know that I have the things I do because of the abuse I endured as a child. Nothing less than perfection was permitted. We were required to be straight A students, star athletes, community leaders and when the time came that I left home for college my world fell apart and I was no longer perfect and my parents disowned me until they found out I was engaged. I don't know how not to push myself further than most because I have spent my life seeking my parents love and approval never to get it. I am in my late 40's and to this day I am still seeking that love and approval even though realistically I know it will never happen and certainly not if they knew about the traumas that I have been through that didn't include them as they would blame me for being raped multiple times, for being abused by my ex husband because I didn't keep him happy, for allowing my brother to molest me as a very young child when they made us share a bedroom from the time I was born until I was 6 years old.

It was not my intent to offend but to me laughter is a defense mechanism I am sorry you didn't see it that way. I was not laughing at you but at myself.

 

[Awat]

Yup, I really haven't told anyone except my mom, and I didn't provide any details. Just a simple ''I have ptsd'', that was it.

 

[Wupehen]

My spouse is a trauma survivor and so is my best friend. I haven't told my BF much, but she talks extensively about her past and therapy and that helps me find comfort in knowing I am not alone.

Interestingly, my spouse has not been diagnosed with PTSD in spite of her horrific experiences.

My sister is 10 years older and kind of grew up in a different place than I, but I often wonder if she experienced the same abuses as I. Unfortunately we are not close enough for this conversation. She may not believe me or she could get into her competitive mode of mom and dad were worse than her. I don't need that!

I have never told anyone else. I did tell my ex that my parents were alcoholics and he threw it in my face. :-(