What Does "processing Trauma" Really Mean?

[maddog]

I totally agree Abstract that a component of processing is about finding the various elements of memories (autobiographical, sensory, emotional etc) from where they have been far flung and misfiled in our brains, and somehow assimilating them back together again so that the linkages are accurate. I know that fragmented memories are something I struggle with, and while linking the various memory parts together isn't possible in all instances and isn't the only part of processing, I do think that a lot of that reinttegration does take place as productive trauma therapy progresses, and it's much easier to begin to confront and accept the impact and consequences of the trauma when you have some structure and connectedness to the memories.

And a big part of the brain's misinformation during PTSD is the sense that the trauma is still happening or is repeatedly occurring. Teaching yourself, over time, that the events took place in the past and can be experienced just as memories (albeit upsetting and regrettable ones) really is critical in reducing and controlling the intrusive and reliving symptoms of PTSD.

Anything less complicated than true processing and we'd all have mastered it long ago!

Maddog

 

[Changing4Best]

I have Lyme Disease, which causes a lot of pain. I was in therapy group yesterday and the leader wanted us to feel an emotion, really feel it, dissect it and then do a series of processes with it. I never got past feeling the pain, which I first balked at, then finally did do as she asked me to, but could not to the process on it to difuse it. OUCH! I have that pain right now again, and did as soon as I started thinking about all this again just now.

Thankfully, she gave us a sheet with the processes on it which we were supposed to read over and do to difuse it and file all its parts away with. I shall go read that sheet now and see what I can do with it this time.

Bit, by bit, we will persevere!

 

[Changing4Best]

I did the exercise I mentioned above just now and was finally able to do it. It worked! I feel a little better and the pain is gone!

 

[therapybankrupt]

Processing the trauma for me is EMDR.

 

[Changing4Best]

Therapybankrupt: Please tell us how this works from the therapy patient's point of view. I'm not asking that you divulge any personal stuff, but what does the therapist ask of you and how does it work for you, that kind of stuff?

 

[InHell11]

I don't entirely get it either, and I am not so sure it's even possible to process it all. I mean I know what happened, I've realized its not just the one main trauma I attribute it to at first and has to do with some other more minor but longterm traumas as well. The thing is I can know what happened, how I felt/should have felt/didn't feel and even that some of feelings of unworthiness and worthlessness are inaccurate.

But none of that makes it go away, I can tell myself I am not totally worthless all I want and I still feel like I am a lot of the time. I can tell myself its over and its not happening anymore when It gets caught in my head and wont leave but I still feel the anxiety and feelings.

I mean I can see why processing it would in effect be recovery, but i suppose I don't see my PTSD as something I am going to recover from necessarily, so my goal is more figuring out how to live with it and not beating myself up over it when it seems too hard. I mean PTSD seems to be the lack of ability to process the trauma, if one is able to process it then perhaps its safe to say they don't have PTSD anymore but for some it remains a lifelong thing.

 

[Hashi]

I mean PTSD seems to be the lack of ability to process the trauma, if one is able to process it then perhaps its safe to say they don't have PTSD anymore but for some it remains a lifelong thing.

OK, I know I need to go very, very carefully here. Not with you personally, InHell11, but with the forum outlook generally. I believe in healing from the trauma (recovery, if you want to use that word). I feel that the predominant view here is not towards healing but towards managing symptoms.

I think you raise a really interesting point. Can you process the trauma?

I think that has to relate to the prevailing view of what trauma therapy and processing is. If you process the trauma, why would you still have symptoms to manage? I'm baffled by posts from sufferers or supporters that say "X has really helped" or "Doing the work is the only way through", but which still have an expectation/acceptance of being triggered at any random point in the future, collapsing under stressors, or feeling suicidal again in relation to PTSD. I suppose this lies in the idea that complete processing is always beyond us?

In my view, it's not exactly that:

PTSD seems to be the lack of ability to process the trauma

I think PTSD is lack of having fully processed the trauma.

I think it's the difference between "ability" as in physically/psychologically/humanly possible, and "ability" as in not feeling able to take any more or find any more within ourselves, because of the unbelievable challenge and wear and tear on every single part of us.

This is a raw issue for me at the moment. I believe I could fully process the trauma, but I'm not sure I will make myself fully reach the inner reserves I need and overcome the outer obstacles, and manage it. Logistics and the emotional/psychological/psychical effort are making that feel beyond me at the moment. Maybe I never will. So please know this is not a judgement of anyone else in any way. I don't know if I can get there myself. It''s just that my view is that enough processing means no more PTSD. And I believe that's always possible, if we can only bring ourselves do what we have to do to get there. Which I'm really, really struggling with.

 

[Abstract]

Was thinking about this thread and am bumping it so I can come back to it....

 

[maddog]

Yeah, been thinking about this too lately... and just this morning, in the midst of a discussion about shame, my therapist was reading from a book which stated that it is impossible to process trauma until the shame has been processed.

We didn't linger over that comment, and I didn't have a chance to think about it much myself at the time, but am doing so now I guess. And I conclude that... I don't know really. It's a little hard without the greater context of the comment, but still, it's something I hadn't really thought about I suppose, as in, I hadn't directly made a link between dealing with shame and processing trauma, not in that order anyway. I'd always felt that dealing with shame was part of the trauma processing, rather than a precursor to it.

I think the book was by Paul Gilbert, whose written a lot about shame. I might try to track down his rationale for this...

 

[nimkekaa]

We often talk about "processing the trauma" as being the ultimate goal of therapy and indeed of effective recovery overall, and yet sometimes, I wonder what we really mean...

Great question! I think that when we can see what this means for us then we can start to measure some success for ourselves and this in turn can be a great motivator. By having a goal of having "processed my trauma", it can seem like it will never happen.

Coming to remember/understand what happened to the best of your ability;
Correctly identifying and accepting matters of blame, responsibility, causality, consequence etc;

I can already see that I am coming to remember/understand what happened to me. I can see myself progressing toward my goal.

I think different therapies suit different people.

So true Shellbell. Everyone is different so everyone response differently to different kinds of therapy. All anyone can say is that a certain therapy worked or didn't work for them.

Great thread and topic Maddog! I think it's something I really needed right now as I have been feeling like I am never going to get better. I think it's time to break down my goals into steps and truly understand what it means to me. Then maybe I can see that the last 15 years of therapy has been getting me somewhere.

 

[JustBe]

I've just passed the one year mark for therapy and am trying not to be impatient!:eek:

 

[maddog]

Also very much struggling with the devastated sense that all this time and all this therapy later, I'm still not getting anywhere, so it's timely for me to reflect on this thread and its meaning too. Even having sat here and nutted it out and come up with all sorts of definitions and explanations for "processing" that seem right and theoretically accurate, I'm learning that "processing" never quite looks or feels the way you think it's going to, and also that you don't really see it happening, but often recognize it only in hindsight.

Yes, I'm still very symptomatic on a lot of key indicators and my functioning is very very low. Those things do indeed seem to have gotten no betterand even deteriorated in recent months. That has been an unforeseen setback and in some ways, trauma processing has come at the expense of current functioning, which isn't a good situation.

But I know too that there are aspects of my trauma memories that are less intrusive for me now, and certain cognitive distortions and negative beliefs that have changed and solidified to a reasonable degree for me, which all help me to balance and rationalise my thinking quicker and more effectively than I used to. I have much greater insight into my past and its effects on me, and so am more able to identify my own distortions and maladaptive patterns and to take steps to deal with them.

I'm more able to talk and confront my difficulties than I used to be, frequent emotional triggering aside of course, and I have many more tools in my toolbox for managing challenges than I did, and am becoming much better and more confident at using them and knowing which ones to use and when.

I'm struggling to feel as enthused about these markers of progress as I should, but that's part of the challenge I still have ahead of me...

And I've been very shocked and humbled by the extent to which current life issues and challenges have interrupted and slowed down the trauma processing journey - I didn't anticipate that, not surprisingly perhaps. We can't turn the present off while we deal with the past, and that adds an extra dimension to the unknown nature of the journey ahead of us. I try, again with mixed success, to identify current life challenges as all-new avenues through which to allow me to process the unprocessed trauma legacies that are partly the reason why the current life challenges exist. And I'm very lucky to have a great therapist, with whom I have a solid relationship, in my corner to help me deal with the current stuff as it arises, and to use it as an "in" for my trauma processing as well.

I think I'm rambling.... this thread troubles me, but still feels very important somehow.