bBg big hugs!!!
I very much relate - have just been through two years of strong quakes and aftershocks .. began with a seven point one at four thirty in the pitch black of a morning ... hundreds of strong aftershocks in the next twenty four hours ... a lot of damage but no one killed. then five months later - a six point three, but closer to the city and it killed nearly two hundred people. People lay trapped and dying in the buildings for days - it was live on tv and of course again, there were severe aftershocks and ongoing trauma happening (not enough ambulances to get the injured to hospital etc). No power no water, having to go to the toilet in the garden like a dog. Petrol supplies and food and water limited. Again, hundred of aftershocks that first twenty four hours - and in fact, it took another eighteen months til the aftershocks all stopped ;-0 (yeah, lucky me - turns out it was a very very rare aftershock sequence). Our city went though as many as over fifty size five quakes in the two years - all were very close to the surface (under 10kms!!!) .. two were size six, one the size seven.
I know the fear you are talking about. It was the 'norm' to go into EVERY building you entered, looking for a) signs of damage (will the building withstand the next big shake?) and b) a quick escape out.
But I don't need to rehash it with you - just know, I KNOW. I have been on a few different chat forums and have yet to hear of anyone else traumatized by quakes. In my case, the PTSD from the quakes triggered childhood PTSD stuff to come up - so I had a double dose. Thankfully, as the quakes have settled, the quake PTSD has gone (I'm pretty sure one good shake would bring it back) .. now I am dealing with the aftermath of the childhood PTSD. Very much similar - the unpredictability of earthquakes and my mother's physical abuse were the same - living in fear for months and months on end, NEVER knowing when the 'next one' was coming. Not feeling safe.
Added to that of course, is the massive change in environment - normally when you are traumatized you have the relative 'comfort' of things around you being familiar. obviously when those things are destroyed - nothing is the same. In my city, out centre city is GONE. Close to 1,000 buildings demolished. Famous landmarks GONE. I walked through the city centre just yesterday for the first time in months - the centre has only been 'uncordoned' for a few weeks now - three years after the first big quake - 3 years on, I am still struggling to fathom HOW its changed so much and still grieving it wont ever be the same. Its expected to take up to 20 years to rebuild the city centre.
Are you seeing anyone for treatment / counseling? trauma from a major earthquake (let alone a few of them!!!) is VERY real. It's a statistical fact that in any population, up to TWENTY PERCENT of the population will have some form of PTSD following a natural disaster.