I Have No Future

[Rainbow_Habitué]

Not suicidal, but I'm really desperately sad. No matter what I do I can't shake the feeling that today might be okay, but tomorrow is going to be worse and worse and worse.

I dropped all my university courses today and sent a resume in to a telemarketing job that I know I'll hate and will kill my soul. Now I just can't stop crying.

My mom is the only person I can talk to about this and she gets frustrated talking to me because she has no idea what to say. I don't either. I've disappointed myself so often that I can't see any reason to strive for a future. If I make money now I can spend it now on distractions that make my life easier until things get worse.

The horrible thing is: I know thinking like this is what will make everything bad I fear happen, but I can't stop! I've been trying for weeks now and I have only been feeling a growing dread rather than excitement for a new year of university.

Anybody know how to actually get off this track? I'm out of ideas and I feel like I've tried everything.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I know what its like to feel like you have no future. I've been there many times.

Have you ever done ACT? (Its acceptance and commitment therapy.)

One skill that I recommend to a LOT of people is radical acceptance. Its about accepting something WITHOUT judgement. For example, I had to accept that I had to drop out of my degree program, I had to accept that I was unable to work, I had to accept being on disability. I accepted these things without feeling bad, without condemning myself. Am I HAPPY to be here? Oh heck no! But I'm not beating myself up for it anymore. Once I was able to master this skill, I had a LOT more time for more productive things, like healing!

Its not easy to master, you can't just say "I accept" and POOF, everything is OK. But, once you can accept things as they are, you can stop beating yourself up and feeling like a total failure. (Because, quite frankly, you're not!)

I encourage you to look up ACT or go to your library and find a book on it. ACT has a lot of skills that come in handy when healing from PTSD.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

It will be ok, you will be ok. One way or another it will all turn out ok. Things will work out or they won't. But you will be ok. Try to be gentle on yourself and give yourself the treatment and pamper yourself. You deserve it. Take good care of yourself. Wishing for you some peace of mind and well being.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Oh crunchies, I think radical acceptance is a DBT rather than ACT skill... I just wanted to point that out!

(ACT is still helpful, though!)

 

[Only 1 of me]

I would also recommend CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) which helps you recognise and change your destructive thinking habits. There are lots of good books, but a good teacher is better. If you are stuck without help, the icbt app is pretty good but you'll get more out of if you can find a person to help you. Changing your thoughts takes work, but it's worth it. Good luck.

 

[reallydown]

Hi. Been there. I got my degree...but didn't really help. Still ended up in a call centre. Only made it one week, then I quit. I am still feeling like I have no future though. I don't know how to get out of it either. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone in feeling that way.

 

[Philippa]

It is a scary thing to KNOW that you are causing it to happen with your thoughts, but are unable to stop it, and the more you even try, the more you keep thinking the same thoughts. I've been on that spiral before, and it ain't fun.

 

[Zef]

I recognize the place you describe, I'm a little bit there right now. What my wife tells me to do is to back off my expectations of myself and try to do something little that I can probably get a positive result from. For instance, right now I am at work with some important stuff to do, but my head is saying that there is no way I'm going to be able to do it and why even bother. So, instead, I'm on this forum, seeing if I can provide a valuable post or two. . .if I can successfully post a couple of these, that ends up slightly weakening my feelings of horror about my future. . .hopefully, giving me enough reinforcement to get done what need to be done.

Sometimes those small successes can be as little as successfully taking a shower, or putting on socks or walking to the cupboard and eating something.

 

[Only 1 of me]

What my wife tells me to do is to back off my expectations of myself and try to do something little that I can probably get a positive result from. Sometimes those small successes can be as little as successfully taking a shower, or putting on socks or walking to the cupboard and eating something.

Wise words Zef :-)