Overcoming Triggers

[Lifeline]

Is it possible that with enough therapy and learned coping skills that one can overcome or take control of their triggers?

I have had untreated ptsd from when I was an infant and toddler (I know that sounds far fetched but my circumstances have had a profound impact on making lasting attachments with people... my first secure attachment that I remember was at the age of 7) which I am currently in therapy for (I am almost 24).

The idea that people may need to accommodate me and my triggers makes me feel weak because they are unavoidable.

My triggers are mainly emotional: helplessness, hopelessness, uncertainty, loss of control, not being acknowledged, fear of being abandoned, being a nuisance, fear of being criticized/punished, other people's anger... basically any form of vulnerability.

 

[arfie]

Far worse than making me feel weak, I believe expecting other people to accommodate my triggers simply doesn't work. My own triggers are far to unpredictable for special accommodations to work. It is not like a physical handicap where I more or less know ahead of time what my obstacles and/or needs will be. People working too hard to be sensitive mostly reminds me of my vulnerabilities. I would rather ask forgiveness for the incidents than ask special accomodations for the possibility of an incident.

Awareness is my greatest management tool. When I acknowledge the feeling and where it is coming from, I have a better chance of staying focused in the present. It is there, but it doesn't need to run the show. If I cannot set it aside, I make my own accommodations. I carry my journal and therapy tools, just in case.

So it is for me. Hope you find what it is for you.

 

[Bella4700]

I don't think we really "get over" PTSD, I think we just learn how to cope with it by incorporating various methods that work for us. For instance, I have hyper startle response and so I tell everyone I am in contact with regularly, co-workers, friends, family that I startle very easy which can result in an angry response and to please make their presence known whenever possible. (Don't sneak up from behind me at my desk, don't try to wake me with your face in my face, it's better to call my name from the door etc.) So some tool/skills I am able to "work with" to cope with PTSD.

Like "Lifeline" I also have a difficult time with being criticized (and feeling unvalidated, ignored or that I am not being heard). While I have a pluthera of tools and coping skills to help me relax at the end of the day, or even AFTER a triggering event, what I'd like to learn is how...when the gun is against your head and someone's hand is on the trigger and you feel them igniting your inner critic...how on Earth do you prevent yourself from reacting to the trigger?

Today someone (who I had just met in a group) was being critical of a decision I made. I'm not talking about calm, assertive, constructive feedback, I'm talking opinionated, condescending "I know better than you" belittling criticism. Their body posture and tone was aggressive and she set off at least three triggers. I turned my eyes away from her, listened to her rant, and then kept my mouth shut for the remainder of the day. (3 Hrs) I then proceeded to perseverate on the interaction for the remainder of the day, which is NOT a healthy use of my time. The last time I was triggered, I left the room, but I stayed this time, even though I wanted to flee. I guess that's progress, but I'd really like to learn how other people cope when they are in the heat of the moment.

Each and every time I am triggered in this matter, I react by shutting down. This posses a problem in the work arena because my nature is typically outgoing and lighthearted, so it becomes very apparent that I am upset and shut down following a triggering event. I've learned not to "quit" my job on the spot (which I've done in the past)...I now know that this my reflex to do that is just that and I am able to talk myself down off the building and remind myself that this too shall pass....but I still wear my emotions on my sleeve and it obviously causes people to believe I must be bi-polar (which I am).

I am open to hearing how others cope when they are in the throws of a trigger.

 

[TeaLeaf]

Is it possible that with enough therapy and learned coping skills that one can overcome or take control of their triggers?

I definitely think with enough therapy and learned coping skills that one can take control of their triggers and overcome them. Maybe for people with severe trauma ( I count myself in this category) the triggers won't 100% go away but they can be managed and will get to be less frequent and less severe over time.

I didn't have a secure attachment until I had done years of therapy and it was hard to overcome my past and trust another person. Many of the triggers you mentioned I used to be overwhelmed by and I now feel like I can usually manage my triggers. I have awareness that something is a trigger, confidence that my feelings are valid and enough self esteem to make taking care of myself a priority.

It wasn't safe for you to be vulnerable as a toddler and that's probably why you now work so hard to keep your emotions reigned in and feel weak when you can't. Try not to be too hard on yourself, you are doing the best you can.

 

[TeaLeaf]

I am open to hearing how others cope when they are in the throws of a trigger.

When I am at work and triggered, I try to just get through the moment as best I can, try to not be reactive and not be too hard on myself. This often involves shutting down to some degree which is probably better than what I used to do- yelling, crying, being mean to the person that is hurting me. After I am out of the situation I try to think about what went well and what didn't go well and work out how to handle things in the future, my therapist often helps me with this because I frequently have trouble deciding what I could say in the future if it happens again. My brain doesn't work the same when I am triggered or recovering from a trigger. I also try to take a little time for myself after the triggering incident is over at work. Even just getting a cup of coffee or a treat, taking a break, reading for a few minutes and self validating. I used to think this stuff was super corny and dumb but now I realize it really helps me.

I just had a very bad trigger (not at work) this weekend and handled it ok-ish. I got myself to a location where I could have some time to myself, I cried and asked my husband to hold me, acknowledged my feelings as valid and that there was a reason that I felt this way. I also did little things to make myself more comfortable, an extra blanket and pillow and lots and lots of repeating to myself, "The trauma is over, I'm safe now" which helps me get back into reality.

 

[Bella4700]

Today while it was happening I kept saying "I can take it, I can take it". :dead: