What If I'm Just Lazy?

[Definitely..maybe]

Realistically I KNOW I have PTSD, but some days I just feel like maybe I'm just lazy. Some days I barely move from my bed or couch, I'm scared to walk out the front door some days, I can't work full time like I used to- I'm even too scare to work at all. Some days I feel like I don't even have the energy to CALL my doctor to make an appointment.

Does anybody get this?

 

[jd9900]

Hi Raige. I feel that way a lot - today even. It's also funny you bring this up - I was just talking to my wife about something similar. Sometimes I think I am depressed because I curl up. Sometimes I think I am claustrophobic because I get extremely anxious in confined spaces. Sometimes I think I am agoraphobic because I am afraid to leave my front door. Then my wife...God bless her...she reminded me that I am just...afraid.

I wish this disorder were just as "simple" as any of those other phobias, but it doesn't seem it to me.

 

[Abstract]

Oh yes! Absolutely. Often convinced.

 

[Reds]

I feel like that a lot. I sometimes miss appointments because I just can't leave the house, sometimes I even miss work. Sometimes I get so angry at myself thinking why am I so lazy. Sometimes I don't have energy for anything not even for eating. I just curl up in my bed all day. I don't even have real friends, all my friends are some chat room people I have never met physically

 

[jd9900]

For what it's worth Reds, I was going through a really tough time and somehow found you all recently, and it has proven extremely helpful, including things you have said and been willing to share.

 

[Miss cptsd xx]

Oh yes!
I sometimes wish I could lay in bed or curl up in a corner and not leave the house. Not an option when you have children though.

I have agoraphobia and claustrophobia and some days I nearly pass out just taking a step outside my front door but I carry on, somehow. I don't know how I think it's just that I keep saying positive things in my mind usually something like," don't panic your ok, your just afraid". I think this must help.

We all have this problem I don't think it's just you. PTSD is extremely complicated and symptoms differ person to person.

As to friends, I also don't have many. I don't make friends easily, I think this is because I'm very black and white and will say it how it is. I like to compare myself to marmite, you either love me or hate me.

Some people just get sick of asking me to go out and I can't because of the agoraphobia, they just don't understand it. But that's ok with me I don't hold that against them.

I spoke to my counsellor about this in my last session, as I'm always tired, have little or no energy and never feel like I've really slept. He explained it really well to me to make me understand, he said that a PTSD brain doesn't work like someone without PTSD, hyper vigilance, nightmares, panic, flashbacks emotionally and physically wear a person out. He said it's like running all day and not expecting to be tired after. Now that's how I look at it, I don't worry that I'm tired anymore as now I know why.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Yes. You're not alone.

 

[Definitely..maybe]

Thank you all so so much! It's so nice to have that feeling validated an realize that so many others struggle with it (not that I want any of you too!). I think I definitely need to just keep pushing on and make myself do a little more everyday- as I'm able. I hope you all are doing okay!

 

[scout86]

Yes, for sure.

I had a funny thing happen a few months ago. I had a string of days when I really felt great. I got all kinds of stuff done that I'd been putting off. When I thought about it I realized that I DO have stretches where I get a lot done and enjoy doing it. If I was actually "just lazy" I'm thinking those stretches wouldn't exist........? ("I never thought of that!" has been sort of an ongoing theme in therapy, LOL)

 

[jd9900]

I think in many ways people with PTSD are quite the opposite from lazy. We work our asses off day after day to live with things in our heads most people could never dream of, truthfully. I am certain that adds to our frustration. I do try to think of this, though - what if I DIDN'T have PTSD? would I simply be...immune to these feelings? I don't like my over-sensitivity, but I would rather feel too much than feel too little if that makes sense.

 

[Miss cptsd xx]

@scout86 I have these episodes to, I say it's my high time.

These last for approx 1 week and then bam, straight back down.

Without hijacking this post does any one else get the same? Does this go hand in hand with our 'lazy' times?

 

[mamachick]

I use to be very energetic and never sat down and relaxed. Supposedly I had ptsd then as well but did not experience symptoms. When the symptoms actually hit me, I am wore out and also lack motivation. I spend too many hours in bed, often too tired to eat and end up with just a bowl of cereal for days. Im sure a poor diet dosnt help either. I do not think I am lazy because I was never like this before. I think of it as my body trying to heal.