In the rest of the world, I KNOW this wouldn't be considered "funny" (as in "amusing", not "weird"), but maybe here someone will see the humor in it....
arfie, when I read your post, at first I took it that you were contemplating killing your kid and could kind of see why you'd feel that way. (For the record, my therapist has requested that I try to avoid "visualizing" solutions to problems that involve the use of firearms. LOL Seriously, I KNOW better, but the thought is kind of tempting....) So, did anyone else picture "homicide" as opposed to "suicide"? Please, tell me someone did!
Anyway, I see that I took that differently than you meant it......
Sorry you're having a rough time! It always amazes me that people respond to things like your son has. In MY view of the universe, the cavalry is NOT coming over the hill & if you hope to be rescued, you're on your own. Funny how different people see things differently. I suspect you did SOMETHING right. Your son thinks he can count on you. That's "something", isn't it?.
As far as "mothers" go, I have a few issues with mine. But, I KNOW she did the best she knew how. There's a lot I don't know. (Like whether or not she actually did, in her own way, love me.) But, I KNOW she did the best she could. You did too, what ever that was at the time. As far as your son goes, in MY view of the universe, you pick up the cards you've been dealt and either decide to play the game or not. Everyone gets to make that call for themselves. If he feels THAT badly messed up, maybe he ought to get into therapy (like nearly everyone else?). Sounds to me like he's trying to manipulate you.
Beyond that, I don't know where you live, but there's room on my couch. I've read a few of your posts, you sound like you'd be an ok house guest. It's kind of cold here right now. And, you'd have to deal with a pair of excessively friendly dogs. Not as nifty as Patagonia, but it's an option, if you decide to run away from home.
Hang in there!
