Does Anyone Else Not Want To Get Better?

[Emotional Retard]

And yet also because I am scared of the better things, either because they won't be true and they'll hurt me, or that they'll go away or I'll lose them in some way again.

@Kas_Can_Fly
Thank you for putting words to my thoughts! I definitely fear the "better" things. I'm terrified of being betrayed or losing someone who supposedly loves me.

 

[Emotional Retard]

Does this therapist have the necessary trauma skills? It is not always the fault of the patient. The therapist might be on the edge of his/her skills with you.

How long have you been this way?

Now that you mention it, I do think that my therapist lacks the necessary skills...

I have been this way for as long as I can remember. Most of my issues began at the age of four and I'm 20 now. @Ms Spock, what influence do you think this has?

 

[ms spock]

As for getting attention for being screwed up... I suppose I do use it as an excuse when I need to and it helps me to get my way. I'm cringing at how awful it is to admit that... :eek:

@Emotional Retard That is very honest.

 

[Emotional Retard]

What little thing can you do to reassure your kid part that you will still love and care for her if you get better?

Can you think of a daily routine or ritual that you can do to reassure your kid part?
Break it down to tiny steps and then do a little bit each day until you have the whole ritual down pat. It could take you 3 weeks, 3 months or 3 years just do a little bit each day.

@Ms Spock, you made me cry witht this question. I really don't do anything to reassure my kid part as it is. I really hate who I am, and I've been told far too many times that I'm too hard on myself. I really don't even know where to begin to show the child side of me that I care. Do you have any suggestions on where to begin?

 

[Emotional Retard]

@Promicarus,

Thank you :) You really ran with this topic, and I appreciate all that you have said. I even printed out your first comment to keep for myself. You're awesome!

 

[ms spock]

And when people talk about being "all better" someday it makes me angry because I feel like it minimizes the pain and suffering I've been going through now and for basically my whole life.

Unfortunately I have thinking like this too.

Can you make a monument like this too?

 

[ms spock]

@Ms Spock, you made me cry witht this question. I really don't do anything to reassure my kid part as it is. I really hate who I am, and I've been told far too many times that I'm too hard on myself. I really don't even know where to begin to show the child side of me that I care. Do you have any suggestions on where to begin?

I am too hard on myself too so I feel for you.

I would start with 30 seconds of kindness once a day or once every hour for your kid or maybe morning and night. Save it into your phone and spend 30 seconds having a compassionate attitude towards your little kid.

 

[Emotional Retard]

@Ms Spock,

Thank you. I shall try...

 

[ms spock]

I have been this way for as long as I can remember. Most of my issues began at the age of four and I'm 20 now. @Ms Spock, what influence do you think this has?

It has had a big influence on me. That is for sure but with mindfulness and practice, persistance, patience (From The Albatross) you can begin to make a change in your life.[DOUBLEPOST=1386383084][/DOUBLEPOST]

@Ms Spock,

Thank you. I shall try...

If you forget a day don't worry about it just keep on going.

 

[Emotional Retard]

What is "The Albatross"?

 

[ms spock]

The Albatross is a member on our forum. She has some cool sayings and strategies to manage her PTSD. I have watched her go from strength to strength.

 

[The Albatross]

I totally want to get better and am willing to go to just about any length to get better. The P's is what Ms. Spock is mentioning. They are patience, practice, persistence, perseverance and there is an optional one for the faith based - prayer.

I can relate to the "drama" thing, except that the personal experiences of my peers and my own dramas began to mete out something I didn't want: consequences. If I don't want consequences then I'll initiate change. I usually do that through goal setting and rigorous self examination.