Ghostybear73
Diamond Member
I have made mention of being married numerous times in my posts. We have come close, but something always stops us. The last time was my mental break. He wanted me to be stable before we get married. A couple weeks ago, he came in asked when we were going to get married and I told him I thought we were waiting until I was mentally stable. He says, “well, that’s apparently not going to happen.” It was in a joking matter, so I didn’t take it as jab.
He has been stressing about the amount of debt we have for a while now. Mind you, I have never made a late payment on anything and comparatively speaking, I don’t have that much debt. When I got my new car the day after Thanksgiving, it was at a lower interest rate, lower payments with gap insurance and no payments for 90 days. It was also a black Friday thing, so the car was only 2000 more than what I have, which was only two years old. The day after I got the car, he was brooding and brought up the amount of debt we have again and I lost it. I told him “I know how much f*cking debt I have. I don’t need a constant reminder and when you really think about it, everything is my name…it’s MY debt, not yours!
On Monday I told him that we can go get the marriage licenses tomorrow. Then I mentioned that my only concern is his fear about the amount of debt WE are in. He says, “well, your life insurance should cover that”. I then decided it was time to tell him about the Will. So I let him know that I had the will changed when he decided he was going to give my daughter, whom he has raised to my son, no matter what the Will says (my son wants her and she wants to be with him and he isn't willing to fight my son for her). I want my daughter to have stability as I own my home, both cars, etc. My son is military and to give an example of no stability, my son is getting deployed next month, then what?
My boyfriend looked at me like I was crazy. I explained to him that my son needs to be able to take care of his sister and the money goes where Chelsea goes. I explained to him that my son has instructions to pay off all my debt (which he has access to), sell the house, pay off the cars and give him his choice one and give him 50,000 dollars so he can get a place to live, pay it for the year and give him plenty of money to get himself on his feet. He says, “what if Steven doesn’t do that….I don’t want to get stuck with your debt”. I told him a lot of people get married and have debt and not many of them have the amount of life insurance I have or life insurance at all. I also told him that I trust Steven will take care of it and if he truly loves me, he’ll trust me know this. It's like he was expecting to give my daughter to my son, then take the half a million in life insurance.
Well, guess what……he doesn’t want to get married anymore. I always wondered if he was in this relationship for just the money. It's important to understand that he takes excellent care of me, my daughter and our home life. He cooks, cleans, raises my daughter, runs errands, is very understanding with my mental problems. He has never beat me, raped me, burned me, sliced me open, drugged me or basically tortured me as was done throughout my childhood. He is not jealous, so I've never had to worry about the beatings or attempted murders that go with that. He has just been an awesome man. On the flip side, I take care of his needs as well; I bought his car, provide insurance, gas, a roof over his head, food, utilities, take care of his personals, etc. Basically, I provide him with a life he has never had and he provides me with a life I have never had. What I thought we had that apparently we don't, was love. I don't love easy and this was yet another huge hit to me.
I guess the question is, should I have left the Will alone?
He has been stressing about the amount of debt we have for a while now. Mind you, I have never made a late payment on anything and comparatively speaking, I don’t have that much debt. When I got my new car the day after Thanksgiving, it was at a lower interest rate, lower payments with gap insurance and no payments for 90 days. It was also a black Friday thing, so the car was only 2000 more than what I have, which was only two years old. The day after I got the car, he was brooding and brought up the amount of debt we have again and I lost it. I told him “I know how much f*cking debt I have. I don’t need a constant reminder and when you really think about it, everything is my name…it’s MY debt, not yours!
On Monday I told him that we can go get the marriage licenses tomorrow. Then I mentioned that my only concern is his fear about the amount of debt WE are in. He says, “well, your life insurance should cover that”. I then decided it was time to tell him about the Will. So I let him know that I had the will changed when he decided he was going to give my daughter, whom he has raised to my son, no matter what the Will says (my son wants her and she wants to be with him and he isn't willing to fight my son for her). I want my daughter to have stability as I own my home, both cars, etc. My son is military and to give an example of no stability, my son is getting deployed next month, then what?
My boyfriend looked at me like I was crazy. I explained to him that my son needs to be able to take care of his sister and the money goes where Chelsea goes. I explained to him that my son has instructions to pay off all my debt (which he has access to), sell the house, pay off the cars and give him his choice one and give him 50,000 dollars so he can get a place to live, pay it for the year and give him plenty of money to get himself on his feet. He says, “what if Steven doesn’t do that….I don’t want to get stuck with your debt”. I told him a lot of people get married and have debt and not many of them have the amount of life insurance I have or life insurance at all. I also told him that I trust Steven will take care of it and if he truly loves me, he’ll trust me know this. It's like he was expecting to give my daughter to my son, then take the half a million in life insurance.
Well, guess what……he doesn’t want to get married anymore. I always wondered if he was in this relationship for just the money. It's important to understand that he takes excellent care of me, my daughter and our home life. He cooks, cleans, raises my daughter, runs errands, is very understanding with my mental problems. He has never beat me, raped me, burned me, sliced me open, drugged me or basically tortured me as was done throughout my childhood. He is not jealous, so I've never had to worry about the beatings or attempted murders that go with that. He has just been an awesome man. On the flip side, I take care of his needs as well; I bought his car, provide insurance, gas, a roof over his head, food, utilities, take care of his personals, etc. Basically, I provide him with a life he has never had and he provides me with a life I have never had. What I thought we had that apparently we don't, was love. I don't love easy and this was yet another huge hit to me.
I guess the question is, should I have left the Will alone?
