What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[Tinyflame]

So very tired. But cannot turn the volume down to sleep. :sleep:

Even talking about hyper-vigilance makes me hypervigilant. Where's the emoticon with the picture of black circles and bags under the eyes? :watching: :wideeyed::(

 

[franciemarnie]

I'm so tired too. My body feels like the vibrating engine of a car. When I was a teenager, my father told me after I turned on the car and it sounded loud and was vibrating, to push down on the break once firmly and quickly and then it would stop being loud and vibrating. I can't find the break on me so I can do that. Sigh.

 

[ms spock]

Feeling pleased with every thing I managed today. I did okay.

 

[macca]

I've been ok today, which is better than I've been lately. Still got a bit stressed a couple of times, but got through. Nervous about tomorrow, as I'm driving my 3 teenage sons to see my parents who live 2 1/2 hours away, so 5 hours of driving. I've done it before, and it never used to bother me except for being tired at the end of it. I would say with how I've been going that I'm not ready for that yet, but my Dad's had cancer treatment and is only just well enough to see us - we haven't seen them for Christmas yet. My husband isn't going because our car isn't big enough for all of us, and this is the only way we can think of to get there and have our sons see their grandparents. :( Crossing my fingers that everything goes ok.

I'm also anxious about asking my mother a couple of things that might shed light on my trauma history. I want to know if it is possible that my flashbacks and intrusive memories are accurate or not. Neither of my parents knows about my PTSD, and I'm not planning to tell them at this stage. Partly because they've been through a lot recently, and partly because they'll just think I'm "over-reacting". So, I've planned with my T that I'll just casually ask about the floorplan of our house (at the time of my trauma), saying that I had a conversation with someone recently about our earliest memories, and realised I couldn't picture the layout. That way I'll possibly be able to confirm a detail that has been bothering me.

 

[ms spock]

Feeling tired.

 

[ms spock]

Exhausted

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

I'm exhausted and anxious and hypervigilant and scared and worried. Again. I'm also frustrated that PTSD dominates my feelings and my moods and basically ruins my day. I really hate it.

 

[DMerish]

What ^ said!

 

[Britt.f7]

Yesterday was a terribly unmotivated day. Today doesn't feel as bad but I am still wanting to crawl under my covers. Hopefully this feeling will change soon. I'm working on it.

 

[DMerish]

I feel broken. :( My attempts at dating (and finding someone I actually like and connect with) has me acting extremely nervous and awkward :arghh; my emotions are all jumbled up. :nailbiting: Very ungraceful.:oops: I'm feeling pangs of self-hate coupled with hating feeling that :O_o:

 

[DMerish]

I just got "dumped" - now feeling really bad :( I don't think I'm date material.

 

[franciemarnie]

@DMerish - When you say you aren't date material maybe you mean you are not up to dating right now because you are pretty wonderful. Dating can be disappointing and tiring and can feel demoralizing because it's full of being judged. That I can identify with. I gave up dating at 50 completely. I just had had it. Of course you know what happened next. Within a year Mr. Wonderful showed up and almost had to break down the door to get in. Dating can be a drag I think. Maybe take a break?

As for me, I am feeling tired and a little down. I am going thru a rough sleeping patch, which colors everything. None of my calming strategies that work during the day work at 4 am. Gotta get a new plan.