Sufferer Addicted To Trauma!

[Abstract]

I guess I see this as partly being about language or word choice and people feeling quite intensely about it because of the implication of responsibility. I think it has hit on a few bruised areas for a few here and that's why the intense response.

Personally I can see why you would been drawn to seeing it as an addiction or addictive. I don't see you saying that trauma is an addiction and do see you saying that you keep being re traumatised, and again and again put yourself in situations which make it more likely to happen. That on top of that you were and are drawn to self destructive behaviour of all types. Both with conventional addictions, self harm as well as situations where being traumatised is likely.

I think different things work for different people and looking at some of it in this way for you is fine. As long as you understand the differences to proper addictions. I think you will end up harming yourself and blocking healing if you don't keep in mind the differences.

A think compulsion is probably a safer word to use than addiction if you need use language of this type.

If we first look at self injury and addictions and even general self destructive behaviour then I think it's fine to use an addiction model if it works for you. We can be addicted to adrenaline fixes and self injury can give a high. All these can be a way of dealing with pain and self medicating in a sense.

Exposing yourself to traumatic situations is different though. You may be obsessed with doing so; you may be compelled to do so; you may feel like it is beyond your control and do it again and again, but it isn't a means of self medicating.

There are usually a lot of things that underlie behaviour such as that but one of the most powerful and compelling is trauma re enactment. An addiction isn't going to help this as although it feels like an addiction the stuff underneath and the machine driving it is totally different.

I think it's a shame people responses were so intense here as I suspect you are not familiar with some of this stuff and the intensity of the discussion may block you from being able to investigate other ways of looking at this.

I really encourage you to look up information on trauma re enactment as well as problems with boundaries and attachment issues. I hope you start a couple of threads and discuss these things on here before you go on to actually treating the pull to re traumatise yourself as an addiction.

Welcome here.

 

[keith Amato]

Thanks for your response abstract.

I am actually saying trauma is an addiction, and true too point my verbiage is lacking a clear expression of what it is I am feeling and then trying to convey verbally.

I can say this though, in my experience I am living in an extremely trauma based society, and for me, I cant speak for others, I feel there is a lot of trauma occurring on the planet at all times.

Just turn on a television or look at a newspaper. Which I rarely do either of, or turn on the radio or go to a movie, which I am becoming sadly disillusioned with.

I would say for me even driving a car is traumatic as it is destroying the planet, which I am a part of, or what about the clothes im wearing who made them and in what conditions were they made in?

Have you ever gone into a supermarket and thought it was a bit overwhelming? sensory trauma, been to a project in the inner city socio economic trauma.

Or the rape and exploitation of the of the planet and her resources, I would say that is trauma. So if we are doing this to the planet and environment then what are we doing to ourselves? And how is that effecting the species?

Are we not all connected? It is my belief we are.

It could just be I am an oversensitive being, But I think not.

I do understand the re enactment idea which i feel is valid, and have done strong work on boundaries, and co-dependance issues as well as unhealthy attachments, and have recovered greatly in those arenas , as well as many others.

But I believe the underlying issue is an addiction to trauma.

In the end it , I wish no one harm by expressing what I feel, and only want the best for all beings, and that they live in peace and ease and are free from suffering...

 

[Abstract]

Keith, you have every right to your own views of course. I will warn you that you are likely to meet with a lot of resistance on this site when it comes to your definition of trauma though. Trauma is clinically defined when it comes to PTSD. Things can be upsetting or negative without being traumatic.


The world you live in must feel very overwhelming and negative when you view almost everything as traumatic.

What constitutes addiction for you? What makes something an addiction?

A. Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence in one (or more) of the following ways:

1. Directly experiencing the traumatic event(s),
2. Witnessing, in person, the event(s) as it occurred to others,
3. Learning that the traumatic event(s) occurred to a close family member or close friend. In cases of actual or threatened death of a family member or friend, the event(s) must have been violent and accidental.
4. Experiencing repeated or extreme exposure to aversive details of the traumatic event(s) (e.g., first responders collecting human remains; police officers repeatedly exposed to details of child abuse).

Note: Criterion A4 does not apply to exposure to electronic media, television, movies, or pictures, unless the exposure is work related.

 

[keith Amato]

No I am actually a very positive -upbeat and upfull person!
Its neither nor good or bad,it just is, and things will change one way or another,as does everything.


Speaking of which the definitions and beliefs and ideas of what trauma is will be changing too( radically I would bet)as they have only really been researching it for about 20 years and are just realizing its scope and magnitude and how many are effected by it.

And yes the fear on this site is palpable, so I will see how much is too much

For me addiction is when you are totally consumed with some type of thinking or behaviour that brings about destructive consequences to your being ,others and the environment ,and you are unable to end it when you have become aware of its harmful effects.

Thanks for your thoughts and comments!

Aloha nui...

 

[Lost Pup]

Keith, I've been puzzling for ten minutes about how to respond to what you are presenting here. I have a great deal of suspicion for anyone who brings a provocative viewpoint to a group and then, to some degree, pushes back at those who may react with strength of tone or feeling towards it. Which, I feel you have done here.

When this is followed up with you telling us what a positive person you are but how "palpably" afraid others here are, my radar for projective dis-identification goes wild. Speaking only for myself, what you've written here provokes my frustration but definitely not my fear.

I find this line extremely troubling, when you say that you have "abstain[ed] from any physical and mental traumas." I would give my right arm to feel I could simply choose to "abstain" from new traumas yet they are an inevitable part of the existential-psychological-energetic field in which I am forced to live for now. Then you use the classic AA language of "cunning" addictions, attributing anthropomorphic qualities of intention to something that is not alive.

For me, the ultimate effect of all this is that it feels as if you are trying to act as though trauma is something you were in control of all along which is a classic belief of abused kids as a way to feel the world is not a dangerous, unpredictable place. I can only say that, if I had adopted such a belief system 6-7 years ago, I'm quite sure I'd be dead now. Because healing has, for me, involved coming to see that sometimes other people really do act terribly towards me, abusive, mean, confused, etc. and that I *have not brought it upon myself.*

I share your suspicion that trauma will come to be understood differently in time and I share your sentiment that trauma is a valid way to understand the societal scale of human interaction. The 24 hour news cycle and total saturation of our mindspace with media events clearly involves collective traumatization by terrorism, school shootings, etc. Yet, referring to this as "addiction" reminds me of people saying the same about Americans being "addicted" to gas. We are not addicted to gas, we are dependent on it because we live within a system that is beyond our control to change in any meaningful way. That doesn't say a damn thing about any one of us. Yet it speaks volumes about corporatism, etc.

Finally, speaking only for myself, I think its in poor taste to talk about the "rape" of the planet on a board frequented by survivors of sexual assault. I understand, obviously what you were trying to convey, and yet I think that word choice communicates a really curious lack of sensitivity. Just my 2 cents.

 

[Samantha_38]

For me, the ultimate effect of all this is that it feels as if you are trying to act as though trauma is something you were in control of all along which is a classic belief of abused kids as a way to feel the world is not a dangerous, unpredictable place.

I have lived this statement! Still trying to reverse these thoughts. More like, just now, realizing that these thoughts are so destructive.

Keith, it seems you view nearly everything as trauma, and this is where I most definitely have misunderstood and gotten lost. Except for a select few things most of the things you describe are disturbing, yes, but would I consider them traumatic, no, and so far neither would the DSM. In any extent, even if these do turn into traumas, I do not see them ever being classified as trauma that can cause PTSD. I may be eating my words in 20 years, but to say you are traumatized by the way we "rape" the environment, not PTSD to me. Other things you've went through, possible, I'm not judging those, but some of the things you listed about, not agreeing in any way. I'd blame it on clumsily chosen words, but you quite obviously keep choosing the same words over and over again, so it is intentional.

And for me to use the word "rape" in a post, is HOW strongly I feel about this, because I HATE that word. You can read through my posts, I am 99.9% positive I probably have never used it. It triggers me horribly, I can't say it out loud. I freeze up. I do realize it is just a word, but I struggle with it. Its one of those things that is a goal of mine to get past.

I am not in anyway coming at you, saying you triggered me, you did, but clearly I'm on a site that I'm going to see that word often, and its going to trigger me. I take that risk because that's how helpful this site has been for me. Although based on what I've read and understood so far, you would say I visit this site because I'm "addicted" to being triggered by reading that word and other posts. Which is just SO far from the truth. I questioned as to how you feel you will be able to participate in this site, which is FULL of triggers without somehow feeding your "addiction"?

Lastly I want to say, that the way you state things is extremely disturbing to me. One example, the end of every one of your posts sounds like you are trying to deliver us all from evil and our sins. I have done wrong in my life, but you cannot "deliver me from my trauma". I get that you are religious, I am not, and its not my place. I don't care either way. Your first post, especially when it still had your contact info. is worded such that it seems like you'd like us all to start "following" you, in this new-found way of life and thinking.
Not trying to be mean, but just letting you know, that to at least to me, you come off like you're trying to create a cult or something.

 

[Hashi]

I think other people make very valid points.

My understanding is that the fear on the site that Keith is talking about is meaning his own response to the discussion. I'm sure @keith Amato will correct me if I've got that wrong.

I haven't got the impression, Keith, that you wanted to participate on the site so much as put up a notice about the group you want to start. You haven't posted in any other threads and don't seem to have anything else you want to talk about.

I feel like you're having a slightly different conversation from other people in this thread. My impression is that you didn't come here to test or discuss your ideas but only to get in touch with other people who might be like-minded.

I think you might have misjudged what this site is about. I think you might have also misjudged how provocative (as @Lost Pup says) your ideas are on a site which is specifically for people suffering from, or supporting those suffering from, PTSD.

People here are very knowledgeable about recovery from PTSD and trauma, and will ask for a viewpoint to be supported scientifically and logically, and to be demonstrated by experience. For me, your theory isn't being evidenced by anything. The scope is now getting bigger and the focus is getting blurrier.

I feel for your lack of grounding and the difficulty you're having dealing with different viewpoints here. I think there's a lot you can do to work on that and feel stronger and more stable. At the same time, I have to say that it's not a good advertisement for your viewpoint that your own approach doesn't seem to give you those things. To me that would say at best that the approach isn't enough on it's own and you need to combine it with other things.

If you're fixed on your own approach that trauma is an addiction, then I think you need to be realistic that the idea is going to be challenged. If you're interested in finding out more about other approaches, including skills that help with fear and feeling triggered, then you'll find a lot of information and support on this site.

 

[Pencil]

Erin Pizzey came to the same conclusion as Keith.

Pizzey started the first women's shelter in England, expecting battered women to fit a certain profile, e.g. to be afraid of violence. What she found was that inside the shelters it was often as violent as the situations the women escaped from. When some of the husbands discovered the shelter and made violent scenes, the women, children in tow, crowded around, fighting for the best spot to view the violence and shout abuse. Pizzey noticed EXCITEMENT, in both the women and some of the kids. Pizzey's biggest challenge was not getting the women out of their situations, it was to stop them from going back, repeatedly. She describes this in Prone to Violence.

I have to admit that I've not read the whole thread, but I don't think Keith's original post is completely wacko.

 

[Hashi]

@Pencil, I understand the Pizzey related the women's behaviour to childhood abuse and earlier trauma. Trauma re-enactment has been discussed here.

Keith has expanded the idea of original trauma to include things like sensory overload in the supermarket.

This is also centred around the 12 step approach.

 

[keith Amato]

I wish you all the best be well andalusia we be free from our suffering caused by our traumas...

 

[Pencil]

This is also

Point taken, I'll read the thread :)

 

[Samantha_38]

I wish you all the best be well andalusia we be free from our suffering caused by our traumas...

Yeah this is where it feels "creepy" to me.