Been Stuck In A Flashback For 2 Hours. Help.

[TillyDevine]

1 year self-injury free. I will not do that.

Tried to make a vlog for my youtube channel, couldn't.

Tried all sorts of techniques for mental distraction. Body symptoms are unaffected by anything I do right now.

Sweating, in pain from being all tensed up, I'm on fire but I'm frozen. Everything is a trigger.

Got on here, thinking I had seen a place where you could have a trauma diary, wrote up a big thing about the flashback... then saw I had one message. Not a message of kindness or anything of course, just a reprimand from the site's moderator or somebody, telling me that my one post I made that was super positive and I felt really good about was actually an infraction of the rules. Because at the end, it asked if I wanted to include a poll, and I clicked yes. Why not. Apparently it's a very severe issue though, because I've been warned. Seriously? Now, anger is thrown into the mix.

I don't want to remember. Anything. Please. Please. Why won't my insurance just cover a lobotomy? It would save them so much money on me.

 

[Meadowsweet]

It's ok, it's probably not a severe issue and the warning will have made it quite clear what to try not to do again. It's simply the nature of the site, because we all have mental health issues here.

Most people have recieved a warning at some point (new and old members) because, especially when we're very anxious, we (or at least I) babble, and forget how to form coherent sentences with punctuation and paragraph breaks. That makes it hard for other people to read or make sense of.

That's no use to the writer, because no one will respond if they can't comprehend it, and it's no good for the reader, because it can be uncomfortable to be faced with blocks of text, or words with no punctuation or other peoples suicidal thoughts.

I don't know what your warning was about of course, but I do know that the reason is always clearly given. I just wanted you to know that a warning doesn't mean you've done anything too severe at all. It's just the way it is here, and it is done to help make it a place where talking and listening can happen.

 

[Justmehere]

I've got a warning when I first started post, and this past week too for not making paragraphs in a post. Same mistake twice no less! I was a bit alarmed the first time, but this time, I'm actually thankful for the warning - feels more like a heads up to re-correct myself better.

I feel different only because I've gotten to know the people around here and that they intend good, not judgement.

I'm not sure what issue came up with the polls matter, but I can understand and relate to your reaction. I don't think you made a big mistake. Like Meadowsweet said, I think they just try to keep a
reign on certain things to make some things more accessible to folks with mental health problem and TBIs and the like.

I know that there are a couple of topics (that could be taken as chit chat in some contexts and not other) that they avoid to decrease anyone trying to spam the site when it comes up on google search engines. (I don't know what those topics are, I just remember reading a post somewhere by Anthony about that.) It could have absolutely nothing to do with you or your intent but the effort of the staff to keep this place a helpful corner in the World Wide Web to a very diverse audience, without maxing out their time.

There are almost 20,000 members here and the vast majority are struggling deeply.

For what it is worth, I briefly moderated an online website/forum and it is way harder than it looks! Any harshness wasn't likely intended to do anything other than just explain the rules without lots of push back and while you may not have pushed back, a lot of people on the interwebs do. A lot. Seriously, it's kinda freaky... but that is a whole other matter...

I know you meant well, and posting here can feel really vulnerable. I hope you stick around and keep posting too.

I'm really glad you are determined to not self injure too.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Yep, we've all gotten those warnings before, so try not to worry about it. I know I've gotten my fair share!

When I'm in deep and none of my coping skills are working, I know it's medication time. Do you have meds that help you? I hate using mine, but I know they'll knock me out, so at least sleep will help get me out of it.

 

[billie]

Yep me too; give anxiety, wanting to post to get help.... it's hard to articulate how we feel at the best of times. It is very important thogh to have these rules in place. I hope you are okay now. I would like to know how you are traveliing. Hope you are safe.

 

[TillyDevine]

@Meadowsweet, I said in my post that the warning was because I included a poll at the end of my post.
I don't really understand why it has adding a poll as an option if you're not even allowed to post one except if it's the poll category.

So... whoops. Sorry. ?

 

[Meadowsweet]

I'm not going to discuss the rules with you Tilly. I need and support those rules. I was a moderator here for a time and the rules here are designed so that the personal opinions of moderators don't come into it, there is no one criticising you personally and no one to apologise to. The moderators simply do the technical job of correcting mistakes (ie moving the post) and letting people know so that they will know what they need to do for next time. That's all that they've done.

But I also understand how feeling that you've done something wrong or feeling that people are thinking you are a bad person, relates to many of the ways (the abuses) that people are traumatised by. The anxiety and anger that you felt or feel regarding the warning, I suspect is similar to how you feel about what has happened to you in the past. But this isn't the same - you are safe here. And facing up to those feelings about trauma, in a safe environment can be part of the healing process.

 

[cherryblossom]

@TillyDevine , if you have any queries about forum rules, please raise them by starting a new thread at the [DLMURL="https://www.myptsd.com/c/forums/help-desk.28/"]Help Desk[/DLMURL].

 

[TillyDevine]

So, @cherryblossom and @Meadowsweet, according to my inbox today I've broken some more rules too! Thank you for pointing out that quoting full posts is an issue-- that one I can see being a possible annoyance, perhaps, to those who struggle scrolling down... But grammar rules? I'm being warned for a grammar mistake? What if I had a learning disorder and had trouble with spelling and grammar, or if English wasn't my first language and I was still shaky with my grammar and punctuation? That's discrimination against people with disabilities, @cherryblossom.

 

[Justmehere]

@tilley - I think everyone is glad to work with you, but not argue over the established rules everyone agrees to follow when we all join.

I think the staff have set a clear boundary regarding your requests the rules be changed, and have also invited you to dialogue in the Help Desk forum about these matters there.

Here's the link to the help desk where you can start a thread to best get your questions about forum rules addressed: [DLMURL]https://www.myptsd.com/c/forums/help-desk.28/[/DLMURL]

By the way, I'm not intending to ignore the topics you have raised - I'm just simply a fellow member directing you to the best place I know of to address the matters you raised.

 

[TillyDevine]

@Justmehere, Thank you! I've scoured the help desk! Still pretty convinced that some of their rules are discriminatory against disabled people, but thanks for the advice.

 

[Nicolette]

I'm locking this thread as it's off topic. @TillyDevine please use the Help Desk as requested.