Eyes - What Is This Feeling?

[LuluStar]

Hello everyone,

After years of not feeling "right" I think I may have at least symptoms of PTSD. There is one symptom in particular that is very disrupting to me - that I cannot figure out what it is, what causes it, or how to get rid of it. It makes everyday life very difficult. I was wondering if anyone here also had the same symptom or had any idea how to get rid of it.

I have this weird feeling in my eyes. Sort of like they are "swollen" or "heavy" but not exactly. This feeling makes me very tired. All day I just want to close my eyes and sleep. I have a list of things I really truly want to do - but I am unable to do them - no matter how hard I try. I can't. I don't feel "grounded" - I wake up and have things to do - but I don't really know how to start.

I think I am normally an ambitious, active, and organized person - so this is very bizarre to me.

This eye feeling started during what I believe was my "traumatic experience" - this experience or I should say situation lasted for 3 years - I started getting "the eye feeling" every weekend - it would go away during the week and then return by saturday morning. As the years went by it became more and more common until now I experience it pretty much everyday.

After learning more about PTSD I wonder if "the eye thing" is a method for my brain to avoid thinking about this painful situation. I suppose they would be related - the things I'm doing and the situation. I've also realized that when I get this feeling I tend to go online to keep myself awake and here - but I never get anything done. My mom things it is just procrastination. But I really don't think that is it. I feel confused - foggy. I do not drive when I'm like this because I do not feel alert or coordinated enough to drive safely. It is very hard for me to focus and think.

Thank you in advance for any input. I'm really grateful for any comments or advice.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Hi, and welcome to the forum. Have you sought out professional help yet? If not, I suggest seeing a doctor who can figure out what is going on with you. We can't diagnose you here, so that's why it's important to find a professional who can help you. I haven't personally experienced that sort of symptom, but I can't help but wonder if you are experiencing a physical ailment which is bringing on the eye issue.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Have you been feeling depressed? My eyes feel heavy when I am very depressed. Also you described focusing and foggy which also sounds like depression.

You will want to talk with a professional.

 

[LuluStar]

Thank you for your replies!

Yes I have sought out medical help - from several different types of doctors. Conventional Western doctors, alternative healers, counsellors... None of them have been able to figure it out. We've looked into several different avenues - allergies, just being tired, water retention, etc. Nothing makes it go away.

I should mention that there are no visible cues that would indicate that there is something wrong. I look "normal".

After trying seemingly everything - I am just hoping that maybe someone here has experience with "the eye feeling" and I can get a clue in the right direction.

@Ayesha - I am not sure. But I will look into that.

 

[arfie]

My eyes become extremely painful and light sensitive. Time in a dark room eases it greatly. Sitting outside at night used to ease it, but even in the country, nights have gotten very bright and are still getting brighter. The chaos of night lighting is agony for me. Random eye jabs...

Ditto on the lack of help from doctors. No physical cause has been established.

 

[Hope4Now]

I don't know if this is similar to what you're describing. I get this thing with my eyes where I have a really hard time breaking my gaze to do normal focusing around me. When it happens, I'm fully conscious, but kind of spacey. Often I want to close my eyes.

From what I have read, (including here on the site), what you are describing may be on the lower end of the dissociation continuum. Sometimes we dissociate to protect ourselves from something. Here's the link on this site that I found helpful: https://www.myptsd.com/threads/dissociation-explained.13879/

 

[Echo]

@LuluStar - you have described what I struggle with all the time. I think I've had as much sleep as I'm ever going to get with PTSD and still my eyes are so heavy and I have a compulsion to close them and there is little I can do about it. Often I struggle all day to counteract it, but I get nothing done. Since I have to work at a computer all day, that becomes impossible. I also feel my sight is much worse. All in all, I have taken it to be extreme tiredness.

I am constantly trying to shove all the trauma energy back down inside me and do anything to keep it at bay so that I can work and whilst I am learning safety techniques with my therapist, before getting down to therapy proper. It is taking a massive amount of energy to do so. I genuinely think my body and mind are really struggling. I know I also do need far more sleep than normal, although saying that, my quality of sleep is dreadful and I constantly wake in the night.

I have decided to counteract it with a really good nutrition and I'm ensuring I supplement with vitamins, etc., too, since stress means we don't get enough nutrition from our food alone. In other words, I'm giving my body the best support I can. I know I could do more in the way of exercise, and that would probably help, too, but I'm getting there.

What do you find helps you?

 

[Ryn]

Wow, thank you for this thread - I never realised all my eye issues could be PTSD related! Before I knew what dissociation was, I'd often describe it as "my eyes are slowly shrinking back into my head" or something similar - it's very much an eye sensation. I can resonate with what nearly everyone has posted - I also have a hard time focusing my eyes, and am extremely light-sensitive, and feel the heaviness when depressed, and my vision has gone horribly downhill.

Sometimes a cool wet cloth on my face helps reduce the sensation of puffiness, or some gentle eyedrop tears.

 

[KP the nut]

I get this thing with my eyes where I have a really hard time breaking my gaze to do normal focusing around me. When it happens, I'm fully conscious, but kind of spacey.

I do this a lot. My Hubby can never understand why it takes me so long to do things.