A Question To Boss Of This Site And Other Wise Members Here...

[J_trustno1]

I know the answer to this already but I want to hear it from you guys.

What would you do if someone (either from the forum or real life) keeps forcing their ideas and thoughts onto you? If they keep manipulating you and telling you about what you have said in the past and kind of making you feel guilty?

Would you just cut off the ties and ignore them? Or simply tell them off???

 

[digger]

If it's someone on the forum, I find the 'ignore' button comes in handy at times....if only real life came with such an easy block feature ;)

 

[J_trustno1]

@digger : hahahahaha :roflmao:, you made me laugh :P

 

[Philippa]

No one can really 'make' you feel anything, or manipulate you either, unless you let them. If you don't like them trying to persuade you of something or to convince you to think a certain way you can simply express that it's making you feel uncomfortable and you would prefer it if they would stop. If they ignore your boundary, then you can use the ignore button.

 

[J_trustno1]

This person has been trying to attack my boundaries. I have been trying to be polite and not saying anything to hurt them. But this time it pissed me off and I politely told them not to attack me. I don't care what the outcome will be BUT it's my life.

Thanks @Philippa

 

[Philippa]

What do you mean by 'attack' your boundaries exactly? Do you mean they have not respected them? I got accused of 'attacking' people a lot on another forum, and that wasn't what I was actually doing...so I am curious to hear what 'attack' means to you.

 

[J_trustno1]

@Philippa : I don't want to start another argument here. I just didn't like how they were forcing their ideas and thoughts on me. I don't like it when people tell me what to do with my life because I don't force people to make decision based on what i say. I believe everyone is free to choose. I don't want to share the entire conversation for privacy concerns. I respect their privacy and I feel it is best to not get into conflicts with anyone. Thanks for your answer.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

I am me and they are they. I have permitted them to dictate to me over the years............. STOP.

I am ME and THEY are THEY. I will no longer permit THEM to dictate to ME ... EVER again.

Santa

 

[GWhizz]

I don't know whether you've heard of the book 'the four agreements'? But one of the lessons it teaches us is not to take things personally. I would expect on a site like this with such a volume of members, that no one will agree with everyone else's opinions. You know your values and beliefs best so just stay true to yourself and try not to let it get to you. If, as you say, this person is persistent or disruptive to the purpose of your threads, then of course use the ignore button. If you find anyone abusive there is of course a report button also, though I'd hope we could all be adult enough to resolve differences amongst ourselves or outright tell that person to back off, that you don't want their opinion if it's forceful or in anyway an 'attack'.


I hope you get the positive support you're looking for here. I would just add that many people, myself included, can be quite passionate about their opinions, so remember it's more about them than you overall

 

[Philippa]

@Philippa : I don't want to start another argument here.

I wasn't wanting to argue either...just to understand what you meant.

I just didn't like how they were forcing their ideas and thoughts on me. I don't like it when people tell me what to do with my life because I don't force people to make decision based on what i say. I believe everyone is free to choose. I don't want to share the entire conversation for privacy concerns. I respect their privacy and I feel it is best to not get into conflicts with anyone. Thanks for your answer.

That's fair enough. I don't like it when people force their ideas or thoughts on me either, or tell me what to do with my life. I tend to not interact with people who do. I didn't ask to know the entire conversation, just what you meant by the word 'attack'.

 

[J_trustno1]

By attack, I meant was that this person was making feel guilty about my own choices or whatever I have said.

 

[Philippa]

Ok, thanks. I don't really see that as an attack, so that's why I asked if there was some other behaviour besides what you initially mentioned...that's all.