Photos And Triggers

[d-art13]

I feel the same way about having my picture taken. I always felt bad about feeling this way. Part if it is just not understanding it and hopefully with working with a trained therapist in the area of trauma, I will be able to deal and work though this feeling. Thanks for sharing :)

 

[somethingsomething]

I agree with most of the commenters here, except I didn't even think about it until my therapist brought it up. Once we started dwelling into my childhood at depth, she asked to see a photo of me when I was around 3/4. I didn't think anything of it at the time. But since then, every time I examine a photo of me at that age, I feel really, really bitter. It just feels like a childhood wasted. I see the smile or the love from whatever family member I was around, and I feel so dead inside - yet so upset by it at the same time.

But then again, I don't know, maybe that's part of the point, to trigger a certain feeling I should be working through. It's certainly a feeling a didn't know before, and as awful as it is, maybe it's leading me closer to dealing with something I need to.

 

[Sammyiam]

Hi, I don't really know what to think when I look at photos, I just sit and look as if I'm not attached to it all.

It isn't really a big problem for me as I only have 4 photos of me from birth to 15 and three of them I myself got off three old slides and pay a fortune to turn them into photos.

I also have a few old class photos that the school took but not very many at all, and when I look at them I don't remember hardly any of the kids that are in them, maybe I'm just not nice enough to take lots of photos of.

 

[Jane.l]

I get very triggered and horribly messed up looking at old photos - I have actually thrown most of them away . Be really careful with this and talk to your T before you do anything .

 

[GWhizz]

@BloomInWinter I just text and asked her and she said it's an attempt to look at my young self with her so I can ask myself how I hold that child responsible. I guess it could be worth a try even though I don't even have many photos, and the ones I do have seem fake or put on to me. I can always bring some and see how I feel when I'm there.

Thanks everyone for all of the advice :)

 

[GWhizz]

Hi, I don't really know what to think when I look at photos, I just sit and look as if I'm not attached to it all.

It isn't really a big problem for me as I only have 4 photos of me from birth to 15 and three of them I myself got off three old slides and pay a fortune to turn them into photos.

I also have a few old class photos that the school took but not very many at all, and when I look at them I don't remember hardly any of the kids that are in them, maybe I'm just not nice enough to take lots of photos of.

Or maybe your family weren't nice enough to cherish the person you are and take those pics, my family certainly weren't - the only ones I have were taken by extended family or while on school outings or holidays with others

 

[Springer80]

she said it's an attempt to look at my young self with her so I can ask myself how I hold that child responsible.

Good for you for asking. I think that's an interesting and valid reason but more importantly you are in co-control. Now you know ahead of time you can let it percolate and decide how you feel.

 

[ghotiff]

@GWhizz I am feeling very protective of you and want to add to the others caution.

"attempt to look at my young self with her so I can ask myself how I hold that child responsible"

My first T had me do this also and it was part of what dragged me down to a dark place. I fear that doing this will be too much too soon for you right now.

From your other posts I feel that your T should be working on stabilization and not on trauma processing. Looking at old photos is part of trauma processing.

It really has me concerned that from your first post your T said it would help you when feeling down but then when you texted she said it's for forgiveness.

Sorry if my post is too strong, I have been thinking of you.

 

[Jane.l]

I echo ghotiff's concerns

 

[GWhizz]

@ghotiff and @Jane.l yes this is the very reason I'm worried. I did tell her last night that I'm worried it'll mean I once again delve deeper than I'm ready for. She said maybe decide not to bring them but it's my decision ultimately

 

[shell]

I used mine to help me connect to the child I was, because I was so avoidant that I would really not even connect that it was me it happened to, and I was angry and abusive towards myself because I blamed the child part of me for making her abuse me. When I could see that she was just a little child, I could connect to her, and not take responsibility for being abused. They were really helpful and I became more self caring and compassionate as result, it helped me immensely.

Was a triggering, yes absolutely it brought up all the emotions I could not, and helped me to reconnect and stop numbing.