What Do You Do After A Rough Session? Help Please!

[Notsowild]

Just came back from my therapy appointment. We talked about alot especially my abusive childhood. It was something I never really wanted to get into. But of course it is affecting how I react today. It was rough. I told him about my suicidal attempts at ages 9 and 11. We talked about my fighting back with my father being sexually abused and ultimately being physically abused or smothered with a pillow. We talked about my Mom going to the psych ward when I was 6 and my Dad blaming us kids for it. I cried for days. She was gone for a year.

He said all these past abuses are coming up due to my latest trauma. He assured me this was good to talk about so we can process them and how they relate to my life today. I learnt alot but I just feel so shaky and emotional.
What do you do after a tough therapy session?

 

[joeylittle]

I default to trying to be really mindful, keeping things simple, nothing emotionally taxing, and I really focus on leaving the work (therapy) back in the office. But it's easy for me to try and do all this - I live alone, so I don't come home to any obligations. If you are capable of self-soothing things, that would probably be nice. It's the whole "be gentle with yourself" concept, but not playing into "that was so rough I can't recover"...which will lead to emotional meltdown (for me).

My absolute favorite thing is to do the dishes. No idea why.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

What do you do after a tough therapy session?

Well, I can't say I am very good at this, but after a tough session, I try to take time for myself. I like to be alone, but also engaging in something I like in order to keep my mind occupied. This summer I started running. Every morning following a session the day before, I go for a run. It really started helping to release some of the emotions from tough sessions. Now, I have to wait until the following afternoon because of work, but I still think it helps some. Other things I like to do are go to the library (that's a place I feel relatively comfortable), read, and nap.

 

[shimmerz]

He said all these past abuses are coming up due to my latest trauma. He assured me this was good to talk about so we can process them and how they relate to my life today.

My take on this? He needs to walk around the cesspool, not push you into it. Slowly.... It is like untangling a little girl's hair. Take and brush and yank through it and there will be damage. Take your time and slowly untangle and it can be a much less taxing experience. So yes, good to talk about in VERY small doses. He needs to be aware that this session felt like too much and slow it down.

After a session like that I drop for hours so literally can't function. Can't help you on that one - but please take it easy on yourself during these sessions.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

My take on this? He needs to walk around the cesspool, not push you into it. Slowly.... It is like untangling a little girl's hair. Take and brush and yank through it and there will be damage. Take your time and slowly untangle and it can be a much less taxing experience. So yes, good to talk about in VERY small doses. He needs to be aware that this session felt like too much and slow it down.

That is a good point and I agree with the advice.

 

[Notsowild]

It's the whole "be gentle with yourself" concept, but not playing into "that was so rough I can't recover"...which will lead to emotional meltdown (for me).

That's what I worry about an emotional meltdown like my mother. And we talked about that too how I think I'll end up in the psych ward like her. Thanks for your thoughtful words.

Well, I can't say I am very good at this, but after a tough session, I try to take time for myself. I like to be alone, but also engaging in something I like in order to keep my mind occupied. This summer I started running.

Thank you I'm not a runner but I love walking. I think I'll go for one in awhile.

My take on this? He needs to walk around the cesspool, not push you into it. Slowly....

Okay I understand this but it just kept spewing out of me like it needed to be released. We started talking about my anger issues lately and then my anger towards my father came hurdling out.

So too much? He said he was proud of me afterwards and how strong I was even though I would never admit it.

 

[Notsowild]

Went for a walk, my whole body especially my legs were so shaky. Don't know how I made it home. @shimmerz... You were right! Too much.

 

[Chosen]

maybe call your T tomorrow and see if you can get a little more support right now? otherwise, journaling helps me...music, drawing, walking, punching boxes...watching a funny movie...

 

[Suzetig]

It does sound like a lot. Your therapist needs to know how to put the brakes on for you in those times when it all wants to come pouring out. Let him know how you've been feeling since seeing him so he knows it was too much for you.

In the meantime self care is the only way. Try to find time to do stuff that soothes and comforts you, I find bubble baths and nice body lotions help me to feel physically cared for, comfort food, soft blankets, hot drinks all help - you may know the kinds of things that help you feel safe and nurtured, do those things, lots.

 

[risingsun]

What do you do after a tough therapy session?

First off, I want to say that you are an incredible survivor of pretty traumatic events and circumstances that no child should have to endure. Second, I think its good that you are releasing it out in therapy so that it doesn't stay silent in the recesses of your being. And finally, I think it would be a good idea for you to maybe go a bit slower in therapy so that you are not triggered too much. Also, maybe tell your therapist that you were triggered afterward and it would be good to ensure that future sessions end with grounding you and helping you feel safe. So maybe set aside 10 or so minutes for that purpose. I also agree with the above posts regarding finding the best way to self-soothe afterward by engaging in an activity in which you love. You are definitely on your way toward healing. Best wishes to you. Rising Sun.

 

[ghotiff]

I got the idea from this forum and it works for me. I treat myself like I have a really bad flu and I turn all the heaters on and go to bed. If I get bored I might watch a comforting tv show but I do as little as boredom will allow. I don't think about it, I just give my body space to recover.

This is such a contrary suggestion to the one of jogging but it works best for me.

Oh, and I agree with the going too fast. I did that with my first T and it felt like I was compelled somehow. My new T is much better at putting on the brakes for me.

 

[GWhizz]

I can't really add too much that hasn't already been said, just try to take care of yourself.

I had a really tough session a couple of months back where I maybe said too much before I was actually ready to go there. Though afterwards my T text me to tell me that I did really well and we would get through it together. This really helped reassure me.

It will be okay and you were really brave getting into it. Though maybe slow down for a bit now. We can only do it in stages and some weeks a lot may have to be processed, whilst others, we may feel like we're never getting there (never happy right!?).

My partner actually came to a session with me about a month ago where he spoke to my therapist about his confusion as to why I find it so draining dealing with the fallout afterwards. He made the point that I need to give myself little 'pay-offs' or rewards after sessions. My T was pretty much sold on my partner after this one lol!

Treat yourself. You were really brave. Be kind to yourself. Just lie on the couch all day watching your favourite shows if you don't have other commitments (this is why I time my sessions so that I have free time afterward to process what was processed)!