Help With Emdr

[Northgirl]

I had a session of EMDR earlier this week, not my first but my first with this therapist and it's been several months since my last EMDR, but I really struggled both during and after the session. We used the bilateral stimulation with finger movement, but the close proximity of my therapist initially panicked me. Once I self-soothed, we did several sets before I asked to stop. The biggest problem i have with my trauma is talking about it, but in the breaks I struggled to reduce a description of how i was feeling to just a few words and wanted to able to get out all the feelings that would have turned into a diatribe, which would have interrupted the pace of things. Can anybody offer advice or personal experience that could help? I should also say that the days after were brutal and I became really depressed, though I'm feeling better today. I just really want this to work :(

 

[FindingMyself88]

This post could have very well been my own. I just started on my 3rd round of EMDR Thursday. We are targeting my biggest trauma and I ended up calling my T yesterday due to suicidal thoughts the night before. But in the past EMDR has helped and we knew this was going to be the worst.

but in the breaks I struggled to reduce a description of how i was feeling to just a few words and wanted to able to get out all the feelings

I struggle with this too. Sometimes it's hard to describe in one sentence, but most of the time I have a hard time saying it at all. If I can say it, my T lets me because she knows a lot of this I have never said before. But on the flip side she doesn't push me if I feel that I can't say it. She simply asks if it is more of a feeling, a memory, or a body sensation. Then she asks if it is something I want to process or go back to the original target.

we are taking EMDR very slow and often have to take breaks. I am slowly starting to feel the emotions and cry, which my T says is huge so she will stop the set and let me just release the feelings.

My advice would be to ask your T how they want you to manage those times.

 

[Justmehere]

If your therapist is being too close - you can actually do the bilateral stimulation yourself by tapping on your legs or anywhere with your own hands. I tried this myself with a therapist and it worked better than visual bilateral stimulation, as I was very sensitive to the therapist being too close as well. I also went very very slow. I had very string reactions afterwards as well.

There is great value in putting what you are feeling into words, and while it may slow the pace - perhaps that is just what you need right now. It's better to go slow and steady than too fast and be too destabilized. There is also a value in and of itself to put feelings into words. That is used in many other therapies. Talking gets different parts of your brain involved in processing the feelings and memories. It's not necessary, but it's also not harmful to the process if you do it in a paced manner.

With EMDR, the brain can keep processing after the session and this can bring on symptoms and I experienced a lot of this. EMDR is a powerful and effective therapy for many people. It is also not the right fit for everyone. In the end, EMDR wasn't the right therapy for me for complex relational trauma, but it did work well for the effects of car accidents. If EMDR doesn't work for you in the long run, don't lose hope.

But I also don't see reason to give up on EMDR yet - there are just clear signs that you should talk to your therapist as much as you can about how it is going for you and troubleshoot it together. Besides, studies have shown that regardless of therapy technique, 40% of the outcome is directly related to having a good working relationship with the therapist - so there is healing happening just by talking to the therapist and working out these glitches.

 

[Northgirl]

I appreciate the input from you both. We're only able to meet for sessions every other week with no contact in between so even though we've extensively covered coping skills I was just emotionally devastated. I've done a lot of research on EMDR and it looks very promising but going through it is another thing entirely. We did discuss tapping versus visual stimulation but I have trouble staying in the present so I think I'll have trouble keeping up and doing it effectively. I agree that I probably need to do some troubleshooting with my T so that we can work out improvements.

I know I'm also at a disadvantage because I am balancing a busy academic career simultaneously which is probably making my symptoms worse. It's a gamble I'm making.

 

[FindingMyself88]

There are also hand vibrators that you can use too, that is what i use. I can't do the finger follow because of head injury it hurts my eyes.

Wow, you are doing EMDR and only seeing her twice a month? That would be hard! Before starting emdr, I saw my T once a week, now when we do EMDR, I see her twice a week! This is just so we can work on getting my levels down quicker and also so my T can keep a close check on me. I couldn't do it every other week. Is there a reason why you meet infrequently?

 

[Justmehere]

If applicable, you could get some more frequent additional backup theraputic support from your university or college In between sessions. Every other week with no in-between session contact is quite difficult even when EMDR is going well.

 

[Northgirl]

There are also hand vibrators that you can use too, that is what i use. I can't do the finger follow because of head injury it hurts my eyes.

Wow, you are doing EMDR and only seeing her twice a month? That would be hard!... Is there a reason why you meet infrequently?

It's so infrequent because of both of our availabilities. It's definitely not ideal. And I appreciated your suggestion of the hand vibrators, I tried that previously but it was too distracting and actually pulled me away from my feelings.

 

[FindingMyself88]

I'm sorry, I know that is hard. I hope you can work something out soon, even if it's phone sessions on the weeks you can't see her or emails. I know for me I could not do it without seeing my T at least once a week.

Yeah, I could see that being an issue. It helps me because I like to fidget with my hands and it keeps me grounded. Different things work for different people.

I do hope you and your T can come up with a good solution that helps you!

 

[Northgirl]

If applicable, you could get some more frequent additional backup theraputic support from your university or college In between sessions. Every other week with no in-between session contact is quite difficult even when EMDR is going well.

I've exhausted the university support option after several years because of session limits. I've been forced to stretch out sessions to every 2-4 weeks in the last year or so for financial and scheduling reasons. It's also a way I'm trying to reduce my dependence on therapy. Whether it's going to work while going through EMDR has yet to be seen.