Retreat!!!!

[macbeth]

I had no idea on where to post this thread so moderators feel free to move.

I know that there are many on this forum that when hard times surface, you reach out and ask questions etc. I am not one of those people. I have had a rough trot as of late but instead of reaching out I withdraw. I am a retreater! I was wondering if there are those with PTSD who, when it's all too much, withdraw?? This is for those that, when hard times hit, they hide. I hide, screaming under the bed etc.

 

[Lolly]

I'm definitely a retreater! I spend time alone as much as possible, not speaking to anyone. When I am with people I just sit there quietly. The past year, since my abuse has started to surface, I have gotten so much worse. I don't answer the phone, text people, I won't go visit anyone. All I want to do is sit in my bed with the duvets over my head (accidentle rhyme lol) and daydream about nice things.

I've always been a quiet girl, but when certain events happened with my abuser (about... 9 years ago) that was when I started to withdraw. I could sit in a room with someone for hours, and not say a word to them. Its funny, because I have two older sisters and whenever I do spend time with them on my own (incredibly rare occasion) they always talk to me as if we just met. Asking me what job I want, which celebrity I have the biggest crush on. Stuff that all siblings should know about each other, really. It wasn't until I was diagnosed with PTSD last year that I started to realise that I wasn't doing all that because I'm anti-social, its just because spending time and talking with people is such a stressful thing!

 

[shimmerz]

For me it depends on the situation. I retreat when I get the idea that I am 'not wanted', which is often. There are other times that I put myself fully out there. You will see that reflected in my postings as well. I put myself out there, figure nobody wants to listen to me, retreat into a corner for however long and then try again.

 

[mrsps]

I don't like to bother other people with my issues! It can be a lonely world at times. I hide away from friends as I don't feel "good enough"

 

[Notsowild]

I retreat all the time. Other than work which is all- consuming on its own I don't go out. I feel my mind is not the same, I don't speak as well. Maybe it's from being over loaded with all this PTSD stuff for the last year and a half. My T tells me I should take small steps like going out with friends then gradually join the world. It's tough when you feel so different than everyone else too. To me it is like "acting " when you're out there. Nobody wants to see or know the real you.

 

[mrsps]

It's tough when you feel so different than everyone else

omg yes I totally feel this too

 

[Anarchy]

I not only withdraw and hide, I also have a very compartmentalized memory, and it seems to depend on where I am.

I have difficulty remembering people places and things that are not connected with where I am. I think I developed that to avoid thinking of home when I was at school and vice versa.

If I'm away, I forget to call people - I forget all about them.

 

[shimmerz]

I also have a very compartmentalized memory, and it seems to depend on where I am.

This is very true for me as well. I didn't realize others had this as well. Thank you @Anarchy.

 

[Philippa]

I had a lot of people dump their issues and problems onto me for the last half of my life, and that taught me to be considerate of others when it comes to me needing to discuss stuff going on for me. As well as that no one has ever really shown much interest in wanting to know so I prefer to journal, paint and scream, punch pillows, see a therapist who is getting paid to listen to me, and if I do come across a rare friend who shows me empathy I make sure, or I try to limit the amount I do tell, so I don't overwhelm both of us.

I'm used to retreating as a way of coping, but I would love it if a friend actually wanted me to just open the floodgates, rather than feeling like I'm imposing. Hard to find these days though when everyone has so much going on in their lives. Best to just vent here and put stuff in my diary when I need to.

 

[Ed Norton]

Yes, I've become very solitary. I don't socialize nor do I want to.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I retreateed completely from telling people of my problems, after 5 months I told them, but they got worse. Only person in the real world I can talk to at least a bit about anything that bothers me is my only true friend and lately girlfriend (the same person). Everyone else just goes away when they hear anything of me. Today while I was waiting sat next to me randomly and started to talk to me. As soon as I mentioned to go to GAM as high school (mathematic-IT gymnasium) she just went away. I just retreat whenever people ask me about my history, but on the net nobody can harm me, all this info is just bits and bytes, not people in front of me.

I was isolated for 4 years due to bullying.

 

[Sandstone]

I have had a rough trot as of late

Would you like to say any more about that?