Retreat!!!!

[Ronin]

For me, it depends.
I tend to hide quite often. It's more needing to sit back, get some distance, get myself together, come back to senses, come back to life.

Eventually I reach out when someone dear to me kicks my ass, though. Just getting me to it and pointing out people normally do that and it's not ____ (whatever I internalized). I'm trying to remember that instead of everything else.

 

[EmmaDancing]

I've always been very withdrawn and reluctant to ask for or accept help from anybody. It's easier for me to help others, because in my mind I don't deserve help. But I'm trying to reach out more when I can't deal alone. It's hard.

 

[Tinyflame]

I'm a retreater too, & I don't forget but I also get overwhelmed.

I suppose I envision the worst.

There is lots to work on.

I think this environment is different because of anonymity & tremendous support & understanding. But would we recognize (not literally) each other out IRL? I think so. Or at least to say, I think it depends on people. Reaching out or exposure or socializing is affected greatly by the type of people one is with, I think.

Hugs @macbeth. :hug: Not much to fear here. The worst thing that could happen is you get help & support. :)

 

[RussH]

I hide as well, at least from the "real world". I will still get on line here at the forum where people understand me, but as for the rest of the world. I get under a blanket and stay in the house.

 

[sun seeker]

I was wondering if there are those with PTSD who, when it's all too much, withdraw??

Oh yes. I've been posting quite a lot, but I haven't had any really bad times since joining the forum. When I'm at my worst I am just too sensitive. It's hard to reach out in case people don't get what I am saying and respond in a way that makes it worse, just when I am at my most sensitive. At those times I withdraw, lose all my coping mechanisms - or if I use them, they aren't enough to make a dent. I stop returning phone calls, or talk only to a few people who are likely to get how bad it is.

It makes sense. My family, down to a person, are terrible at giving emotional support. My repeated experience from earliest childhood was if I asked for help when I was upset, I would be ignored. That neglect is so painful that it makes sense to want to avoid going through it again at all costs, even to the point of going through the worst times alone.

I long for a time when I will feel enough trust to be able to reach out for help when I need it the most, but to get there I will be halfway healed already.

 

[sun seeker]

It's tough when you feel so different than everyone else too.

Very much so. That's one of the hardest things for a survivor.

A few days ago I invited a friend over to play Scrabble. It was painful for me, almost physically painful. This is supposed to be fun??

At the same time I'm lonely. We humans are complicated creatures.

 

[Fadeaway]

I am...well I am confused. I am normally a retreater, but lately I have been reaching out to no avail, it is very compulsive like. I am starting to think it is a form of self harm.

 

[Philippa]

I've started meeting new people who are empathic and who feel like they can trust me to speak about things openly but without both of us going too into our stuff, but still acknowledging each other.

Today I reached out and asked a woman who asked me out for tea earlier if she ever needed an ear to listen when she got down I was here and she offered me the same in return. I have about 4 people who I can reach out to in my community now, and I feel they really mean it when they offer. I still have trouble actually doing it though.

I'm so used to being so self contained and keeping it all to myself that I find it extremely challenging to be able to really open the floodgates, but I feel like I'm getting to a point where one day I might feel ok about doing it. I know I can vent about certain stuff to these women and they won't tell me I'm complaining too much or 'being negative' because they understand that sometimes you just need to get it out of your system and as long as I don't take advantage of that I think it's ok.

Feels like growth and progress to me. I'm way more social than I used to be, but melbourne is pretty unique so I feel like I can and have cut mostly all of the people I don't need in my life out and only have the right ones in my sphere.