What Does 'processing' Mean For You?

[digger]

It's a term I see used quite a lot across the forums, and have to admit to being confused by it for myself. I think to some degree, from the way it gets used here, it probably means slightly different things to different people.

So I'm wondering what does, or did, processing mean, or look like, for you? I don't mean how you got there, or what sort of therapy you used, just more how you personally define the term? What does it mean to you when you use it?

 

[intothelight]

I don't have a lot of memory of my trauma, just bits and pieces that expand decades. What I do experience is emotions and reactions that do not fit into the present. So for me processing is trying to isolate the reactions that don't match the situation and to talk myself through why it isn't logical. Rationalizing an irrational response. Then I try to identify common factors that have elicited this type of response in the past and try to work through why it had to be something in the past and doesn't fit the present. Its little bits and pieces at a time.

 

[J_trustno1]

Nice question @digger .

For me processing is when I start seeing what are my triggers, understanding why they are caused, working on them instead of avoiding them, then accepting and letting go and moving forward. However, I am no where near accepting or letting any of the trauma go. I am at the initial process of knowing myself and I feel it'll take sometime before i reach high level and move forward.

 

[Intrepid]

I don't use processing much as a description of what I go through. Its way to vague.

The result is somewhat easer to describe. I've developed a lot of internal resources, created structure and context for remembering and integrating damaged memories, and become much more aware and accepting of who I am with all of my weirdness and quirks.

I could lump years of working on that into a word like "processing", but I won't.

 

[Recovery4Me]

Great question Digger!
Sometimes I think of 'not processing' as in my foggy morning state or with my coherence stammering at my S.O. (significant other),"What?" Sometimes not processing occurs when I read a post.

Processing for me is a combination of intellectually& emotionally formulating the construct and then something that I have been considering gels inside with my take on it. Often I find when processing gels and I liked something about it, that aspect just shows up in my actions or communication.

I think that is why I spent so much time on the board of late, to process others' views on their PTSD or on mine in order to process similarities and consider the differences. I have found different methods of embracing the disorder that has worked for our members and I have embraced some of those as mine.

My therapy was very important but seeing aspects of CBT (as well as other methods) applied by others and how it works for them is seriously a learning process for me. I learn by observing others at times. Since I am only one person and there are many here, the value of the board has been immense to process, expedite some of my learning curve and set new goals.

 

[TonyG]

For me processing means I am dealing with the horror in my head that I have kept locked away in my brain, Talking about the trauma and trying to understand why I feel like i do

 

[Deleted member 1860]

When I use the term "processing" it is strictly in the sense of a step that is done in therapy, after safety & stabilization, and before reintegration with "life". I'm done with processing in that sense, but in another general sense, I will always be "processing" as we constantly take in new information and process it, whether it be about the present or things from the past.

Maybe you noticed another thread where I said it doesn't appear that the person had been through formal "processing". In this sense, formal processing is a part of PTSD healing in that one goes through EMDR or prolonged exposure therapy or the like. If someone says they are processing things "on their own" I'd like to push their assumptions on what they think they can accomplish in this fashion? Trained professionals know how to push our boundaries and get into the nooks and crannies of our brains so that we can bring things to consciousness and deal with them. I know that I'd still have a lot of hidden bits of memory if I tried to "process" on my own without professional help.

That's just my two cents.

 

[digger]

@Recovery4Me - apologies I appear to be having my own 'not processing' going on! If I'm reading you correctly that seems to apply to processing in general terms? I guess I was looking more for trauma specific definitions of the term, but probably wasn't clear enough in my original post.
So, when people say things like 'Have you processed your trauma?" or "I am currently working on processing this trauma/memory?" for example. Does what you wrote apply to how you'd define processing trauma too?

Apologies if I've completely misread your post.

 

[Recovery4Me]

...yes and as a whole. Thank you for the clarification of our share.:)

 

[digger]

@Solara - I'm wondering more what it actually means for you though. Its a label yes, for a stage you went through in your therapy, but when you say you have processed something, what does that mean to you?

What are the differences to you between something that you have processed and something you haven't?

 

[KwanYingirl]

My take on processing is pretty simple. My trauma memories are stored in my lambic system and in my body. I am learning to use my prefrontal cortex of my brain to bring those fragments into my consciousness. Once there, I can describe, analyze, make a plan-all actions that describe processing. It has been liberating to finally bring forth my trauma memories so I can name, claim it and dump it. There are always negative beliefs that I had regarding my abuse and processing those encounters challenges me to see how self destructive my irrational negative beliefs interfere with my mental health.

 

[joeylittle]

I only think of processing in the clinical sense. Bear in mind, I remember all of my trauma.

So, if I started with a bunch of memories that were a big knotted tangled ball of yarn, every time my therapist and I work through a moment in my memory - that is equivalent to getting one tangle to be untangled. And then, we move on to the next knotty part.

Most of it is done in a linear fashion (chronological time), but sometimes there are knots within knots (memories that draw on or are informed by other memories), and then we work on untangling all those snarls.

Eventually the mass of tangled yarn will be able to be wound back into a fairly smooth ball; it's not gone, but it's manageable, and I can put it in the bin with the other balls of yarn (other parts of my life and experiences) and not worry that it's going to snag another ball and make an even bigger mess.

By "work through", in my case I mean EFT. But Exposure therapy, EMDR, brainspotting, somatic therapy, cranio-sacral, IFS, CBT - basically, using any therapeutic modality where you are untangling knots in a systemic way - that is what I'd call processing.

Which is why I don't believe anyone can do it effectively entirely on their own, at least not at first. I lived for a long time thinking that I had "processed" what happened to me. Really, all I did was wind all the loose knots into tighter knots in the hope that I could just bundle the mess that was there, if that makes any sense.

I personally also believe that you can't just use any old therapy style to process trauma. There are ones that have clinical data backing them up and others that don't.

(I actually do a type that doesn't have a ton of data - but I have my own theories about why it works, and it's related to the other modalities in many ways. Anyway, for now, I have enough evidence within myself to know its effective. When it stops being so, I'll change working methods).