Does The Age And Qualification Of Your Therapist/counsellor Really Matter?

[J_trustno1]

This question has been bothering me ever since I have moved into long term therapy with a funded counselor in November 2014. I have therapy fortnightly. I've only been to therapy for 4 sessions and it feels like I am not getting enough out of it.

The first session was kinda wasted due to getting all the legal work done (i.e. filling out the forms and telling her what my abuse and problems were). She told me to replace every negative thought with two positive thoughts as if this was that easy. I struggled with it and was the same after 2 weeks.

The second session was her talking most of the time about my weekly issues and telling me some stories. This session she told me to stop using the word "should" as it is kind of a forced word and puts a limitation on you. But I kinda didn't use it as much last year unlike previously.

The third session again went into me complaining about my weekly issues and how I am not getting over my thought patterns or my negativity. However in this session I had less than an hour with her since the receptionist forgot to inform my counselor despite me being 15 minutes earlier to the appointment.

The forth session was again was about my counselor going through the legal work because she needs to get the forms into the ACC (Accident Compensation Corporation ) department in other words for funded sessions. I didn't get much out of this session.


Note: My counselor is specialized in the following areas:

• Sexual Abuse
• Grief & Depression
• Couple Counselling
• Individuals
• Self Esteem
• Assertiveness
• Adolescents

She is quite elderly (i.e. great grandchildren) and I feel she might not be up to date with the psychological issues. However, she seems quite experienced but then again she has never told me about using those sophisticated techniques such as CBT, EMDR, ACT etc etc... you know all those fancy techniques those psychologists use or the psychiatrists name. I don't want to seem shallow but I am worried whether she can actually help or if I am wasting my time. She's a counselor not a psychologist therefore I don't know how well she can help me or whether I am treatable or not.

Please leave your feedback on this matter. I have been worried about this ever since I've started therapy. She has never made fun of my past or anything. It's just her age and qualification that is scaring me :(.

 

[Angelwings]

If you don't fully trust your therapist, it's really hard to make any progress. Can you get someone to see you weekly? Anyone who knows EMDR for your type of trauma?

 

[reallydown]

I don't knwo what to say...I've gone through some therapists and it's very difficult to find a good fit...Sometimes though you don't even think you are getting anywhere and it turns out that maybe you are (but that only happened to me with one of them...even though it mostly involved me sitting there mute...or talking but not what I was supposed to be talking about...So no real advice....you could try giving her another shot but who knows if ti's worth it...only you can decide that

 

[anthony]

She told me to replace every negative thought with two positive thoughts as if this was that easy.

This is the idiocy with therapists and what they depict to be CBT versus what is CBT. They have to actually find the negative thought, get you to find the rational logic yourself via counter questioning your logic, then when you've done that, then help you to self-identify counter statements.

As for the question... yes, experience matters, not so much age / qualifications. There are plenty of moronic doctors, lawyers, psychiatrists, pharmacists, and so forth... all who have quality educations and obviously have some IQ to obtain said qualifications to begin with. Qualifications is not a common-sense person made.

 

[Dee Morris]

Age doesn't really matter to me, but I've noticed that I tend to respond better to non white males but there has been one exception. I don't respond well to females at all. The biggest factor is their level of trauma experience.

 

[Anarchy]

In every field of activity, whether ditch diggers or astro physicists, the practitioners fall somewhere under a bell curve distribution of abilities, some good, some bad and most somewhere in the middle.

It is tautalogically true that there is a one in two chance that the person you are seeing was in the bottom half of their class ability wise, when they trained.

In some fields, it's tempting to think of a steep log curve downwards, rather than a bell, with most of the practitioners at the crappy end and only a very few performing at higher levels. Management seems to fall into that.

That's before we get anywhere near the sort of working relationship you are able to strike up with them.

 

[Alien Goodness]

The important thing is getting a counselor with the right knowledge and experience for dealing with trauma. Especially as some counseling techniques that work for other problems will actually make a PTSD sufferer worse.

 

[scout86]

Have you talked with her at all about what "progress" IS? Have you discussed what you want to get out of therapy? My T asked me that the first time I saw him. (I actually couldn't answer the question & he said not to worry about it, lots of people can't, in the beginning.) But, you sound like you have clear objectives.

As far as age goes, I don't think it necessarily matters. I was actually looking for someone older, who had been around awhile and had a chance to get some experience. "Good" experience, though. Someone who WAS in the top half of their class and then had had a chance to build on that training by finding out what worked for them and what didn't. Some people learn their whole lives, some people only care about what's on the next written test. Important difference in attitudes, but not age related.

4 sessions isn't a lot. By the end of the 4th session with my T, I was beginning to suspect he knew what he was doing, but I was no where near deciding I could actually talk to him.

I'm not impressed with her "replace the negative thoughts with positive ones" things. There's truth in it, to be sure, but I agree with @anthony about that one. What do you think would happen if you challenged her on that? Told her it's not as easy as it sounds? Asked her for examples of negative and positive thoughts? Asked her how you recognize a negative thought?

I wouldn't give up just yet, but you might look at this as a chance to practice asking for what you want, if nothing else, and tell her about your concerns. They sound like valid concerns, to me.

 

[J_trustno1]

@scout86 : Yes you are very right. I have very clear objectives about what I really want to get out of therapy. I want to overcome my trusting issues, low self-esteem, attachment and detachment issues. There are other issues about my constant questioning on my past and why the perpetrators what they actually did. I really want to get into fine detail about my past and where I currently and where I want to be in future. I don't want to keep being stuck at a a position I have been since I was 16. I used to think that taking an antidepressant would solve my sleeping issues, my dwelling on past, self-hate, suicidal thoughts etc but being on and off on antidepressants for 11 years hasn't actually sorted out my problems. This is the reason why I started therapy at the first place.

I have made some significant changes from December 2013. I have stopped caring so much how people thought what I looked like. I have stopped giving a damn about my dressing sense and stopped wearing black like I have worn for the last 13 years. I am able to distinguish people's real intentions and actually being careful and selective about friends. I have made all these changes in a year. Oh, I forgot to mention that I don't think that I am dumb anymore like I did almost until November 2014. I am starting to accept myself but my progress actually doesn't stop here. Lastly, my concentration and determination are coming back to me. I am starting to enjoy the challenges of my life now and yes I do at times become negative. But I feel that every one of us have those down days. It must be my supplements and antidepressants speaking here lol.

Sorry for writing impressive achievements here. But I do want to know the exact structure of my therapy and want to know where she's leading to. I want to learn to cope with my fear of my own kind and having minimal to no hate for them. Yes, not all of them are bad but I still have to deal with this issue. Then about relationships.

Thanks to everyone for posting on this thread. I really appreciate each and every single answer on my thread.

 

[Justmehere]

I don't think your considering her qualifications is shallow at all.

I have a great counselor who is not a psychologist. I have seen older and younger therapists.

My therapist now isn't a psychologist but she is trained in trauma therapy, specifically somatic experiencing. And she has good common sense. It is a very good idea to ask your therapist about what theraputic techniques she will be using with you. You could even phrase it as "I have read a little about CBT, ACT, etc, etc. I wonder if you can help me understand what kinds of therapy we will be doing?"

I think the lack of not seeing her weekly and needing to spend so much time on paperwork so far may be contributing factors into not making more progress. It took me a good 10-12 sessions before I really started to see progress myself.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I tend to agree with @anthony on this one. To me, what your therapist is saying is pretty much "just think happy thoughts"......and we ALL know how effective this is, right? I mean we don't need to go to therapy to get this sort of advice as I'd be shocked if there was a single sufferer here on the forum who didn't get this sort of advice from a well meaning friend or family member at some point along the way.

Our minds don't work like that. You can't just pick something positive to think about and believe that it will do away with the negative thoughts. And I think that is especially true when you have an obsessive sort of mine. Well, I know this to be true for me at least.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

My psychologist is an white male in his 60's. He's probably one of the most calm, open-minded, intelligent people I've ever met. So I wouldn't say age matters. Experience I would say matters more then qualifications...because that can build a lot of no nonsense approach in therapy and good common sense.

If your current choice doesn't fit then move on. Nothing wrong with that. I had a choice that didn't fit me a few years ago. She was female, and seemed nice enough but had odd ideas in her head; it wasn't a good fit for me. Nothing wrong with moving on if you feel that's best for you. Therapist expect it.