(uk) Refused Reasonable Adjustments

[Suzetig]

I know uk therapies are time limited unless there's significant difficulties and you've been pound the system a few times but this is one of those situations when no therapy is better than poor therapy. In saying that Solara has a point in that you need to really persevere with coping strategies, trying them when you don't feel stressed to get used to and then being meticulous in using them when you feel rough. I hear that things are hard or you just now and wish it were easier or you.

 

[moonbeam]

I find sniffing essential lemon oil helps to keep me focused. If you don't like lemon choose a crisp smell that you do like and keep some on a hanky. Smell as often as you need to.

This would be a great idea to try. I struggle with visualisation while under stress so I don't do that but I am baby steppong towards it. I carry a small blue stone that has like marble in bits of it and I hold it in my hands, feel the temperature of it, smoothness, etc. It helps ground me when stressed.

Unfortunately while your work should try to help with reasonable adjustments, they can't help with coping skills and you will need those.

I think you should talk to your T about your fears with going back. See what they say.

 

[KP the nut]

I carry a small blue stone that has like marble in bits of it and I hold it in my hands, feel the temperature of it, smoothness, etc.

I carried a small green agate stone carved into a turtle. I found it helped a lot as well.

I know uk therapies are time limited unless there's significant difficulties

I had EMDR on the NHS. My T was amazing. He made the case to his manager a couple of times that it would be wrong to end my therapy sessions. I saw him for almost a year.

 

[Frogs88]

My Hr sent me a letter saying that if I have not resolved my problems with J.K. by 9th of Feb then I will be fired. I just want them to give me time to finish my EMDR first and they won't. They sent a letter explaining what they understood from talking to me and it wasn't what I said at all, it said that I had indicated that I thought the therapy wouldn't work. I told them it would but the way it was done was in stages and I am only part way through the last stage so need the time to finish. Plus I tried to explain what a somatic flashback is and they wrote 'a dramatic flashback' so they obviously did not catch on.

 

[digger]

Is it possible for your therapist to speak with them on your behalf?

 

[moonbeam]

The letter should actually legally have a copy of the meeting notes attached. With a literal line by line breakdown of who said what. If this information is wrong speak with an advocate about helping to word your response.

 

[Suzetig]

Have they offered an occupational health assessment? You've not been there long so technically they can fire you without reason and I can see how they might think "personality clash" and decide its better to let you go now than maybe be dealing with it for a long period of time. If you want to argue unfair dismissal from a disability point of view, you may be best raising a formal grievance now about their decision to make you work with JK and the lack of supports in place. You would need to be able to evidence (eg through GPs report, occupational health support etc) that you had a formal diagnosis and that there's something about this person that impacts you "clinically" ie that your response is beyond your control and therefore you need some form of adjustment.

Otherwise, could you use this time to really work on coping mechanisms, getting them strengthened so that you're better able to cope with the situation? Maybe slow down on the EMDR (I'm not sure yet more exposure to trauma is a good idea when you're still dealing with a situation that you find triggering and while you have inadequate coping mechanisms). It feels a bit like you're pinning your hopes on EMDR being the thing that makes it all ok but in reality it may just make things a little more manageable. My own experience is that I've needed a variety of different supports and therapies over the years and have also had to do a tonne of work myself.

I think your employer is being realistic in giving you a point at which they need to see some change - I'm guessing in their eyes you've been unwell for most of the time you've worked there and it could go on indefinitely. While they have a duty to make reasonable adjustment, they may argue that what you're asking for isn't reasonable in the kind of workplace they operate and so you're not fit for the role, which would be dismissal on capability grounds, not because you're not technically able but because the role impacts your health so much and to a point that they can't support you.

Hard as it is, at least you know what you're working with, you just need to decide now how to go forward.

 

[Frogs88]

I saw their occupational health three months ago when this all started and he told them to just keep me on a different shift pattern and too look at moving me permanently.

 

[Suzetig]

That's good, you can go back to them on the basis that they're going against the occupational health assessment so either they need to follow that or offer you an updated assessment to see what's changed.