Fifty Shades Trilogy

[AllnueBoutique]

I am starting chapter 7 of the 1st book. Should I be finding it erotic?

 

[KP the nut]

Should I be finding it erotic?

I actuall skipped most of those bits and concentrated on the characters and the story - which by the way I loved.

 

[piratelady]

I agree with KP. It is the characters and the story that I enjoyed reading the most. As you progress through the books, the story line and characters get even better in my opinion. My English teach in high school told me that when reading any book, always give it at least 100 pages before deciding if you like it as it can take it a bit for the story to really develop.

 

[KP the nut]

always give it at least 100 pages

I'd agree but some books never make it to that - life is too short :eek:

 

[anthony]

Nicolette tripped over big time for reading more about the complexities of Anna and her relationship with Grey. It was funny listening to her as she poured through them on holidays.

 

[cookinggal]

loved book 1 cant wait to get the money for books 2 and 3
Also on a side note I wonder whats next for this author

 

[cookinggal]

I am starting chapter 7 of the 1st book. Should I be finding it erotic?

Its not for everyone parts droned on and on in the book but other parts were pretty good

 

[shoulderblades]

Haven't read any of the others part from the first book. Hated the first book, refuse to read the rest. Was disgusted by the horribly inaccurate and damaging way BDSM is portrayed (I am heavily into BDSM and I can strongly attest to how WRONG the portrayal of it is in the first book - the "BDSM" that happens in the book is plain abuse), and was pretty horrified by all the normalisation of abuse culture, misogyny and the patriarchal idea that women cannot exist without men. This book made me extremely angry.

Was disgusted by the way the main female character was written - talk about setting back feminism by fifty years. Giving up your free will entirely to another person and them making dangerous decisions for you is NOT OKAY. That is not what love is about. And no, that's not how proper Dominant/submissive or Master/slave BDSM relationships work, at all. The books constantly presents the idea that women are incapable of existing without men, and that women are meant to be dominated. It perpetuates the patriarchal idea that men can have whatever they want, however they want, and that women are just property.

The main male character constantly justifies his sexual and dominant behaviour by attributing it to his abusive childhood. That he was abused and thus is abusive is apparently meant to be okay?! That excuses the way he abuses a woman and utterly dominates her?! NO. Many of my friends in the BDSM are horrified that this book is so popular and is seen as some kind of lexicon on how BDSM and Dominant/submissive relationships work. And outside of BDSM, it's horrifying that such a patriarchal, sexist, anti-women piece of crap is considered to be pro-woman and pro-feminist!

There is no "female emancipation" in this book - not in the first one, anyway (like I said, I haven't read the rest and I refuse to), like so many rave reviews like to claim. Rather, it's a white-washed story about a woman who becomes enslaved to a man because that's all she thinks she deserves, and he is given free reign to dominate her however he damn well pleases. This is really, really disturbing.

This is a story about ABUSE. It GLAMOURISES AND NORMALISES ABUSE. It is in no way an accurate depiction of how BDSM works and anyone who thinks BDSM works the way it's depicted in this book has an extremely messed up idea about what BDSM is and should not be practicing it, lest they abuse someone else in the BDSM scene.

It should have been called "Fifty Shades Of Abuse And Anti-Feminism". Much like 'Twillight'.

Speaking of 'Twatlight' - er, 'Twilight', sorry - "Fifty Shades" was originally a 'Twilight' fanfiction; the author had merely changed the characters' names before publishing it and reaping millions of dollars in the process. It's not even an original story but a complete rip-off (of an already terrible book, but I digress)!

 

[resistencia]

Thank you for taking the words right out of my mouth! I agree and have felt uncomfortable with this book as soon as I learned about it. I am not a member of the BDSM community, but I can still understand how much it reeks of oppression and regression with regard to gender roles and relationships of power.

 

[Kintsugi]

I wanted to revive this book thread, as I have "just started" (two days and 150 pages or so ago) reading book one. Also, the first film just came out, so it seems fairly current, especially if there are any others out there who have just been persuaded to read the books.

I haven't seen the film, but I think I will. Loving the book, even though the writing makes me gag most of the time (not really the author's fault; an editor could/should have fixed the majority of this crap).

I was practically raised in the BDSM community. It was the major subculture (though there were others) of the LGBTQ community I grew up around. When I went to see my sister a few weeks ago, those were the people who again surrounded me there, and I just love it. I understand it, and I have a very deep acceptance of this lifestyle because I was exposed to it early, I suppose, before puberty had even set in.

My early misunderstanding of this type of relationship did contribute greatly to getting into an actually abusive relationship very young, but I never blamed the bonafide community of BDSM for that, and they are not to blame at all. If I had told my sister everything that was happening, she would have identified it as toxic and inappropriate.

However, my fondness and appreciation of the BDSM community has never left me. Could I be in a true dom/sub situation today without it messing up my psyche due to my past? Maybe. It would be challenging. But I am so glad that there is a hugely popular book series that delineates the nature of this type of relationship in a way that does not demonize BDSM. I've just gotten to the point in the book where it is touched on that the sub really has all the power in such a relationship, which is so important for people to come to terms with and understand as a fact of this lifestyle being conducted properly. And I have seen how the community reacts when this is not executed correctly. Those I know wouldn't stand for anything coming close to real abuse.

 

[Friday]

I've just gotten to the point in the book where it is touched on that the sub really has all the power in such a relationship, which is so important for people to come to terms with and understand as a fact of this lifestyle being conducted properly.

It's one of the ongoing themes of the books. That and consent-consent-consent, as well as choice, boundaries & respecting others (choices & boundaries) as well as your own. Can't remember if it's in book 1 or 2-3 where it also goes into some of the after effects when ideals go astray or are mimicked instead of lived.

I think all three themes are either something either a lot of people miss, or crop up in the 'contempt prior to investigation' aka don't actually read the books.

Could I be in a true dom/sub situation today without it messing up my psyche due to my past? Maybe. It would be challenging.

That was something I debated / dabbled with for awhile.

I love the forthrightness about sex in the BDSM community, IMO sex really should be an evolving conversation. I haven't found that level of openness & honesty outside of the military anywhere else, except the BDSM world, and unfortunately it's not my cup of tea. Fun occasionally, but I like too many different kinds of sex, and don't naturally top/ bottom/ or switch. Also #TrustIssues ;) Nope. Not a good fit for me. The openness & honesty fit hand in glove, but the roles were too regimented. Sigh. I've always colored outside the lines.

 

[Kintsugi]

Maybe I need to create another thread if this becomes a rabbit hole, but I'll add to @FridayJones by saying I really am a "born submissive," except maybe I'm not. I struggle with the thought that abuse made me this way, not nature. I often wonder if abuse also shaped my sister and brother into subs (although my brother [and abuser] not halfso much as my sister, who lives the lifestyle full time), who were also abused as children.

I agree that many who criticize the book/film franchise are probably jumping to conclusions.

I originally thought "Fifty Shades of Grey" was a popfiction book for housewives about older women, or maybe cougars. I hadn't heard much at all about it and had no idea of the contents until last week, when I shared something about my intimate life with a friend and she said "Like Fifty Shades of Grey?"

:whistling: