Surprisingly Calm About This

[shimmerz]

How many times have you been out of the house in the past three days?

I was out Wednesday, Thursday, Friday until mid afternoon. I have been in the house since. I go out to smoke every now and again. The car is in the garage, so they wouldn't know I was here. I am uber careful as to who I tell where I am at. I used to have a dog so I had a bit of a routine going back in those days. That isn't the case now. There are no tire marks on the driveway and it stands to reason that if it is shovelled then I am here. Go start your fire! I don't want my ex or phantom smoker dude to be responsible for you freezing to death! Hugs sun, lizio, richter and scout! Thank you. I am going to do my best to get out of here pdq.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Ok with that history I think you are right to be so concerned. What a creep he is. So sorry. Yes play safe, trust your instinct and get out. Other thing is if you could afford one of those hidden cameras and place them around where you are. Then you would have evidence.

 

[scout86]

Scout I wish I observed like you do.

It kind of makes my T roll his eyes. LOL

So, what's going on with the car? Do you need a new battery, or is it something else? (We may have to start a fund raising drive, because "not starting", THIS time of year especially, isn't a good deal.)

 

[sun seeker]

Fire started, don't worry! But yes, now you've explained more I've changed my mind. No you are not irrational, but yes there is a reason to worry. If the police are such idiots (and I would not recommend telling your doctor either) the next best thing I can think of is to talk to someone at a domestic violence shelter. Because that's what this is, however long it's been since you lived with him. :( I don't know what they can do, but they hear about all kinds of situations and will probably take you seriously.

edited to add: I like Lizio's idea too.

 

[shimmerz]

Do you need a new battery, or is it something else?

Got a new one the last week! Arrrrgggghhhh! I hate my life.

I would not recommend telling your doctor either

Agreed

Other thing is if you could afford one of those hidden cameras and place them around where you are.

I should know this. Thank you so much @Lizio. I knew you guys would help me think better.

One of my best friends is a women's counselor. She knows how my story rolls. Nothing we can do but for me to keep me safe. This is one of the reasons my male friend takes me in. It is not safe for me to be alone. This just confirms it -- again. :banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead:

 

[illusionist]

Hugs to you shimmerz...keep doing what you're doing, don't let him drive you down.

 

[shimmerz]

Am out. CAA got the car going so I am out. Thank you guys so very much for helping to keep my head clear.

 

[sun seeker]

That's what we're here for. :) Let us know how things progress when you can, okay?

 

[Recovery4Me]

@shimmerz ...it is customary in "my here parts" to do that ( cig butts)within a cup, sand bowl or dirt flowering pot if started by another in the neighborhood during the snow or what knot...as they walk by. IF someone does smoke, and do that here it is a sign of courtesy for the environment as tobacco poisons the grounds. I live in tobacco country...so it could be just us folks. Normally couples here smoke the same brand, hence two cig butts placed at one time in one container.

However, what your post does express to me is that you are considering your location again (with respect to your past) in fear. :hug: What about some free defense lessons or a nice rescue dog for some peace of mind, my strong friend?;)

 

[Hope4Now]

@shimmerz, please let us know how you're doing.
It is so hard to second-guess ourselves...am I crazy? paranoid? having a normal reaction of fear based on past experience?

Given what you've described about your past, you are far from irrational. I am horrified and saddened by your experience. How can we heal when we don't feel safe? Gaslighting is a terrible, terrible thing. Sneaky, subtle, sick, and the worst kind of destructive because it makes us torture ourselves. Please don't torture yourself. You are getting healthy and strong, and you are brave. He/they are not.

Love and safety to you.

 

[shimmerz]

I am at my friends house - been fed - we just finished talking about the butts. Took us an hour to sort it through. On Thursday morning just as i was leaving my son told me he had a cleaning lady coming over. I was running out. Didn't give it a second thought. Until now.

It took a bit but he remembered her. I did nit. She would have seen the cup when she arrived. If she is a smoker, which I am going to assume she is, she would have used the cup. Nice. Thank you guys so very much. I ttotally forgot about her.

I am thrilled that with all of your help i was able, by and large, not to completely lose myself in the past. Thank you so much! So many hugs to you all.

 

[illusionist]

Glad you got to the bottom of it...nothing worse than something lingering in our heads.