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Bad Night

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I am currently lying on the bathroom floor my stomach is very upset and I'm passing blood. I think it's probably anxiety related. I'm going to sleep on the bathroom floor for a while I have my pillow here. I will call the out of hours go if I get desperate again. But for now I think I just need to rest I got no sleep last night due to a terrible thunderstorms which scared me half to death. Thank you for all your support you guys really help see the woods through the trees. I will take advice and call out of hours if I feel bad again. Night night or afternoon afternoon. I hope you will forgive me for not commenting on posts but I will try later.

I don't want to scare you but I came very close to dying a few days ago from this. The cause of the bleeding increases anxiety, anxiety doesn't cause the bleeding. Please get your iron checked asap.
 
It is just IBS some time my intestines tear when they cramp. I had an appendicitis which ruptured I then caught mrsa so have lots of scar tissue around my intestine. 7 year ago I had to have surgery to seperate out fused intestines and ovaries. So now if I have an ibs flare I often tear scar tissue with the cramps which leads to blood. So long as it stops after a few hours and it's not haemorrhages I am okay it just hurts like, he'll. I'm lay on my friends sofa not so ashamed of what I have done an how my family react when they find out.
 
My friend luc took me to the Dr, the Dr listened to luc and saw my wrists and called the hospital immediately. Luc took me straight there and I was assessed on the spot. I had to tell my whole story it was hard but luc held my hand and helped where she could. I was sick once through all this. I am now on the crisis teams books. A Dr is coming out to the house tomorrow am to decide if I need home care or hospital care. Luc stayed with me until sophfinished work. I'm going to go home and kiss my children good night. Then we shall see what tomorrow brings.
 
So after getting drunk this morning and throwing up in bed. I slept it off until I got a call from the Dr saying I need to go to St Mary's hospital. On the 20min journey we stopped the car so I could throw up. When we got there the ladies were engaged so I ran into the men's room and was violently ill again.my friend luc drove and she signed me in whilst I was otherwise engaged. They then found me some fancy cardboard sick bowls so I could stay in the same room as Dr. The first thing he did was give me lorazepam to calm me down. We then spoke about med he's upped my seroquel again to 200mg and lorazepam for two weeks. Am having home visits from the mental health team daily, they will give me my meds and clean my infected wrists. I have their help number 24/7 they have written to my consultant to initiate urgent psychology input to get me functioning. I can then have cbt later. My friend luc was so good. Soph is on her way and we are planning to watch a film
 
We then spoke about med he's upped my seroquel again to 200mg and lorazepam for two weeks. Am having home visits from the mental health team daily, they will give me my meds and clean my infected wrists. I have their help number 24/7 they have written to my consultant to initiate urgent psychology input to get me functioning.
This is great, Leah.

Remember - you are going to feel groggy, fuzzy. Remind yourself that it's OK because right now, you are giving your nervous system a break. it's so great that you are reaching out to soph and luc, and getting support, and following through with the doctor. You're handling this really well, and you are going to get through it. Thinking of you.
 
The crisis team were meant too see me today but my dr appt over ran coz the had to get me antibiotics are redress my wounds. I called then and they said they would call back to rearrange. No phone call. I phoned coz I was struggling with sh suicial thoughts they said they would call they didn't. Got drunk to numb myself just phoned again they are not coming today. I guess that what happens when your a nobody you slip through the cracks story of my miserable life
 
Doesn't that figure! Maybe you could try calling again. Very familiar with slipping through the cracks! I am so sorry you have been going through hell !!!!
Been in a similar situation before. It sucks!!! It got better after awhile. Hope it will for you. One day at a time, one moment at a time, distraction. Thinking of you and care!
 
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