Sufferer Intro. Ptsd From Combat Zone But Not From Combat

[inkazak]

Well. Not sure where I am going with this. I am going to schedule residential mental health care starting next week. I am not back in the states yet, but I am laid up for surgery and my PTSD is getting bad. I can deal with it, but its preventing me from sleeping. Its 4am here and everytime I close my eyes, my mind goes straight to the images and thoughts that make me emoional. I dont really know where to turn because my military service was different from most people and I do not get access to VA (not really a subject I feel like getting into just yet) and on top of it, the things that bother me are not the same as the things that bother other vets. I guess I am just rambling, but if anyone has techniques for dealing with thoughts that I cant fight off no matter how hard I try, I would be happy to know them. i guess i should add that i have not received a diagnosis of PTSD but I am ready to accept that thats what it is. Pretty classic symptoms. But I dont want t say that it is for sure because that is not accurate.

 

[Friday]

From a vet, welcome to the community :). I was USMC first, private second. There's a few of us on here, prior service of various flavors, although we're something of a minority...some with PTSD from combat, some from childhood, some from MST, some from other fun & excitement.

One of the great things about this site, you may not find someone with your trauma history (although it's more likely there will be some that are at least close), but backing up a step to symptoms & resources? Hell yes. That in spades.

You're right, hopefully you don't have PTSD, it would be much nicer if you have the shorter lived variant of it (ASD), but when you're around the symptoms long enough in other people to be able to recognize the same in yourself? It's fairly likely to be one of the two. Good on ya for recognizing, and getting on it -regardless of what the diagnosis will end up being- in looking for help, instead of just diving into self-destruct mode. A diagnosis is pretty dang important, no use wasting time or making things worse by using the wrong tools... But looking for answers is the exact right thing to be doing. Keep that up. & Again... Welcome :)

 

[BlueDream]

Welcome!!
I hope you find some great ideas to help you cope.

 

[intothelight]

Welcome to the forum!

You might want to check out some of the threads that are symptom specific. There has been some great exchanges of ideas here and you may find something that is helpful.

 

[inkazak]

From a vet, welcome to the community :). I was USMC first, private second. There's a few of us on he...

Thank you for the welcome. The things that haunt me are from being exposed to the behavior of those i was up against in combat. But NOT from the things they or we did while in combat. It was a side project unrelated to combat that I have to deal with. So this is why I feel like I dont fit in with the vets.
As far as diagnosis, I dont know what ASD is but I will look it up. I dont really care what is causing this. I just want to deal with the symptoms. To me it seems kind of normal that I would be haunted. It seems more strange if I was able to shrug it off. But then again, I shrugged off 99% of the shit that happened there. Anyhow, I am really looking forward to getting treatment. I dont really think connecting with others is a way to heal (at least not for me) but I think getting techniques to handle this will help.

 

[Lcpl Adams]

I shrugged that shit off for 25 years, while the whole time that shit was leaking out of me like toxic waste in a rusty barrel. What i saw or actually did on the battlefield is just one big jumbled mess for me. Its all the same, its all toxic. It just exploded one day, it all came back. I can say from my expierances that civilian doctors dont no shit about combat ptsd. The va does, they've helped me a lot, after i got over my absolute hatred of the va, the government and the military.