Dissociation Explained

[Abstract]

Thought this was quite a good description. http://www.benzosupport.org/derealisation_and_depersonalisation.htm

 

[greenleaf]

Thanks for that link, @Abstract. Weird, I do get several of the vision, auditory, and emotion issues mentioned there, but never thought of it as "derealization", maybe because I'm always aware that I'm in the same reality, but that I am feeling sort of threatened at those times, so I thought it was related to that.

I never thought of these as symptoms.

When did that term, "derealization", come into use, I wonder? Was it recently? I'm finding that the research and "lingo" have changed since my last bout of having to really deal with certain issues... I guess I'm not 20 anymore...
:wideeyed:

 

[Abstract]

Hi @greenleaf glad you found it helpful. I really can't say but I suspect it has been around for quite some time. I know this :wideeyed: feeling. I constantly seem to feel that way as something else is revealed to me.

 

[Maggiemay]

WOW! Thanks :) That was incredibly helpful :)I'm up to the fragmented part of the continuum.I can really relate to the 'living in your head'.

 

[Brennan Joseph]

I'm new to this thread, seems abit late. I have C-PTSD with multiple diagnosis but they are all off base. The CPTSD with DID is more accurate, I have fragments but they are very powerful. I was raped as a toddler, earliest memory is probably close to 3 or just before. I can see myself as one little boy and then suddenly as two little boys, like ghosts. I am or was a writer, I have the ability to put my thoughts on paper, I don't know if that means I am intelligent or not, but I have a vivid imagination. I've lived my entire life through my fantasies since I was young. My experiences are through television and movies and I've taken on characteristics and lives of characters in movies, anime, martial arts, particularly star wars. My alters are very strong, sometimes I'm aware, then sometimes I can't remember what I just did. I find notes I've written in different handwriting but there is no one else who could've written the notes except me. I have alters that have names, some don't, some I can hear their voices, some of them I don't but I am communicating with them outloud. Feelings are associated with certain words and thoughts. I am currently in the mindset that the former host died and I am replacing him (Because he did an awful job living for the body). There was a funeral for him, letters sent to the parents (this actually did not happen in reality) and now I am living the life, but sharing with the alters, which is difficult because some of them are not willing to co-operate, there is one that is very angry (hurt seems more appropriate because calling him angry angers him!), he's the defender I guess. I think I am a better sharer than the last host but I am still learning to do this since I am basically 3 months old. I have limited abilities on my own but I can do more with the co-operation with the others as long as they don't get upset and deceive me, or mislead me which is hard to tell but I'm getting the symptom's down when triggers occur, like now, social networks has been an issue in the past but I need some info on this, particularly since I'm aware some of the time but always. I know there's co-conscious, when I can function as an adult but without it I am like a 43 year old with a 3 year old emotions with limited vocabulary. I'm trying to schedule an FMRI scan for this month. Any help would be very much appreciated.

Symptoms I've noticed when triggered:

Sweating
Covering mouth, face, eyes
Hiding face, burying in knees
covering mouth to speak out so no one else can hear (when in public places especially places where abuse took place ie "church"
trying to get approval of people reminding me of past abusers
loving abusing women even though they are different race of my mother but just like her (look like women i've seen on tv/movies)
different tones in voice and posture during switch during times of stress
pain in body, especially headaches, stomach, shoulders, joints, chest
feels like there's a fist gripping my heart, burns, even though blood pressure is normal
voices persecute especially when reading the bible (mother use to read scripture before she beat me, told me God would destroy me at end of world)
One alter speaks another language but the language isn't real
One alter is Hispanic
One alter is female
One alter maybe gay but this might be the female (not sure)
One alter heretic/religious fanatic (maybe)
I think I'm triggering them so I'll end the post now.

Hope to hear back soon.

Brennan

 

[greenleaf]

Hello @Brennan Joseph -- welcome; it does look like this is an old thread so many folks may not have seen. There is a "dissociation" -related forum and if you post a new thread there, or one in "introductions", you might get more responses.
Do you have a trauma therapist, if you are having trouble relating to the diagnoses given and think they're off base? Lots of us find a trauma therapist an incredibly helpful thing.

 

[Brennan Joseph]

Thank you @greenleaf I'm really scared...I did just started rape counseling last week Saturday (June 20), never actually been through this type before. I've been through CBT and even worked with kids like me. But now I need to focus on myself. Just need a better quality of life. Its -- I guess better but having some serious highs and lows lately. Its scaring me, more scary than ever. So I'm looking for some balance, answers.

 

[LeeAnn13]

View attachment 3225

Originally posted by @Anna5 - Referencing Bill Tollefson...

Does it go away with time and working on staying present? Or is this always going to be a part of me?

 

[anthony]

Negative dissociation can absolutely be removed -- everyone is unique, and that you have to remember. People don't heal in the same time frames.

Saying that -- like I said, negative dissociation, where it causes your life to malfunction in some manner. Everyone dissociates in a normal spectrum -- driving a car from point A to point B and you don't recall the specifics of the trip, but your subconscious knows it and was maintaining awareness for you, even though your conscious was floating off on other thoughts. That is normal -- everyone does it.

Its just the negative stuff that really screws with a persons ability to function daily that you need remove -- and can remove.

 

[greenleaf]

Does it go away with time and working on staying present? Or is this always going to be a part of me?[/...

I find that working on feeling safe is a big help.

 

[Autumn76]

Is this article on a website that I could send someone the link without them coming here to read it?

 

[Karen MPurves]

View attachment 3225

Originally posted by @Anna5 - Referencing Bill Tollefson...

Found the article you wrote and have copied it into a word document to save as I found it explains dissociation perfectly in an easy to understand way. It also explains in a way I feel others would be less frightened for others to read.......A good article for me to store to explain my situation to those I wish to share with...........Thanks for sharing.