Relationship To All Supporters!

[Saint Nik]

You may have quite mild PTSD in relation to PTSD on the scale.

How would you find out about this?

 

[anthony]

when I typed it I thought I was on to something so helpful

You did type something helpful. I often screw up wording -- explaining myself later versus what I meant to write. I'm used to it... but that's me.

How would you find out about this?

You would honestly have to be assessed by someone who is frequently involved in PTSD cases, i.e. a PTSD specialist / expert. The assessor needs to have ample experience in dealing with PTSD persons to scale you accordingly based on their experience.

Asking someone to self-assess is useless. A 10 (worst case) for a person, whilst it may feel that way for them, in essence is really not much more than a 5 when compared to others with a higher severity in the same symptom. Yet flipping that, something is often relative to an individual based on their reaction. This is why an expert would need to state such a thing.

I had an expert in PTSD diagnose me... three experts actually, all in the field of specialising in trauma and PTSD (due to a requirement for a specialist course I later attended), and they all stated severe to me. Severe is like saying -- typically above a 7 out of 10 at more times than not -- and quickly going there when lesser. Most diagnosis is assessed based on your worst case symptoms, and the duration of said symptoms. If you're at a 7+ for the majority of duration, severe. If a 5 - 7, as a majority for duration, then moderate. If a 3 - 5 most of the time, then mild (this is likely just meeting criterion for PTSD).

Again though, you cannot self assess that -- you would need an expert to assess you against a pool of averages they have personal experience with.

 

[Saint Nik]

You would honestly have to be assessed by someone who is frequently involved in PTSD cases

I was assessed back in January this year with severe PTSD. With you mentioning mild PTSD, I din't even know there was such a scale.

I often screw up wording -- explaining myself later versus what I meant to write. I'm used to it... but that's me.

I am finding out this is me also!

Thanks @anthony. Believe it or not but I feel terribly ashamed, stupid and let down with myself. My intentions always seem so high and so good. I did read the post back and I do understand now. I can't even edit it to what I meant. But, I have learned in future to read and re-read and maybe re-read and edit before sending out any more!!!

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

I was assessed back in January this year with severe PTSD.


I am finding out this is me also!

Thank...

Nobody has to give an account of themselves. Good thread, good comments by all. It's all good. ;)

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

..Including my "clusterf*ck" comment. Haven't had a chance to use that word in a long time. Thanks for giving me the opportunity. ;) Felt good :p

 

[Saint Nik]

Nobody has to give an account of themselves.

It's childhood issues with me I'm afraid. I say something, people get angry, I feel wrong, no longer validated, then a cycle pursues inside me and I end up justifying myself. I'm trying my best to work on it. I just wanted to help, but stepped on a few toes on the process. If anything, I have re-read my post and I do understand why some people can be pissed off. I think I came across as a know-it-all and that wasn't my intention either. I just didn't re-read and edit. Lesson learned! :tup:

 

[Saint Nik]

"clusterf*ck"

:roflmao:

 

[Weemie]

don't be so hard on yourself, nik. you're talking and willing to listen to other perspectives, that's more than 75% of people you'll meet in a day.

you offered some good perspective, too. because you're right, some people do come on here and whinge about how their spouse has ptsd and "it must be the ptsd" if they're doing this that and the other thing, instead of holding them accountable. that's a definite thing.

i think people are just trying to do the best they can with what they got. sometimes people have a pile of dogshit in a brown bag, you know? they're just walking around like, the f*ck do i do with this? and most of us have no idea, sufferers or supporters or anyone. we're just tryin' to make a living.

 

[Saint Nik]

Thanks @lightraze your comment is appreciated :)

 

[anthony]

"clusterf*ck" comment

Don't think I've used that since the military... not often anyhow.

With you mentioning mild PTSD, I din't even know there was such a scale.

There isn't any official scale... it is more something my psychiatrists explained to me. They can rate one person to another based on presenting symptom severity and duration of them.

 

[Mallaky]

@Saint Nik I feel your intent of trying to be helpfull is very clear, so if people are offended I believe it is the kind that invites discussion. Its not like you delibaretly tried to hurt anyone.
You made yourself vulnerable by trying to put your point of view into words, when the safe thing would have been to just say nothing. I feel its necessary to try to do this, because otherwise there will be no learning. Brenè Brown talks about it at length at her excellent TED talk "The power of vulnerability." I would like to wholeheartedly recommend you take the 20 minutes it takes to watch it here. Maybe you like it as much I do. :hug:


[10 minutes later] :mad: Now, this is frustrating, I am smashing my head to pulp on the language barrier. I knew the exact german expression I wanted to talk about, and I dont find a english equivalent. :bored:

"Von sich auf andere schließen." its called, and its a problematic thing that I rarely fail to fall prey too. It means basically to project too much of oneself on others. It is about the kind of thinking that goes like "I am good at things I like. I am good with the guitar. You are not. You obviously dont lke playing the guitar." This is a dumb example. Let me try again. "When I like a movie I talk alot about it afterwards. You dont talk alot about the movie. You must not like it." This can be avoided if one puts the focus more on ones own personal experience, instead of deducing rules for others from it.

What happens if you use that on your post? Its tone shifts dramatically, from something that to me feels a bit patronizing and a tad condescending to the quite beautiful and valuable lessons somebody with PTSD learned by working on her relationship wih her partner/supporter. Those lessons might be of interest to the reader, might not.

 

[Saint Nik]

@Sweetpea76 I have had a lot of time to think and I hold my hands up. I admit completely I was wrong in my generalized thread. I wish I could take it down so it no longer provokes offence.

I do hope it helps a small minority of supporters and they can take something away from it, just for them.

I didn't think and I have learned a harsh and brutal lesson and this thread and your comment taught me that. Thank you. I hope I can make amends for my mistake as I in no way want to make enemies on here, just friends! I hope you accept my :hug:

@anthony thank you for always keeping me right. I like how you challenge my thinking and I want you to know that you do actually help me a lot on here with your replies!

@TreeHugger I was in no way being angry or aggressive and I hope you believe me. Like I said in this post I certainly do not want to make enemies, just friends.

To everyone else, I thank you for your support, I know many of you see that the thread wasn't that bad. In a way it wasn't, it was just not with facts and was just way too generalized and a little bit you should do that and you shouldn't do this, etc. The funny thing is, I don't like when people tell me what I should be doing either. I still don't have a clue what made me just rabbit on in this thread, but it's done now and I hope everyone can see I am taking responsibility for my careless actions.

I hope I can make amends and let this thread die it's death! :hug: If you accept!