Has Replies On Here Triggered You?

[Friday]

Have posts & replies on here triggered me? Absolutely.

As a matter of fact, the one you're referencing did. I went from perfectly calm / rational / reasonable... To full tilt boogie furious. Pissed off, seeing red, how dare someone come and attack our kickass supporters!?! They take enough shit from their own sufferers, so now one of us wants to march into their house and tell them how f*cked up they all are, and how their relationships are these unhealthy awful things, and how that's all their fault so STFU???

I can't even imagine the blowback if one of them came over to the sufferers pages and said the same things; it's not PTSD, you're just lazy self centered drama queens you're blaming on PTSD... And here's how not to do that :D... Be more like me! :banghead:

^^^^
This ... Is the incredibly toned down from what I was actually feeling.

Because what I was feeling? Was triggered. Take the stress 2liter, shake it, & pop the top! Prepare to explode, explode aye ma'am!

So I gritted my teeth & said nothing, rather than lashing out from a place of blind rage.

Cooler heads & reason prevailed :) Not mine. By the time I calmed down? It had already been sorted. Cheers. Awesome. & Breathe.

***

Has that happened before? Of course. It's very, very rare that my protective instincts get kicked into high gear, but when they do? I go for the throat. Learning to step back from those stressors that have triggered me until I can be rational is a hard thing to do. Especially because I usually regret the things I don't say or do, far more than those I do.

Have I been triggered in other ways? Yep. Sometimes I respond, sometimes I don't. Have other reactions been tripped before? For sure. Some trip rage, some snarkiness, some self loathing, some SI, etc. Where it trips rage (or anything else that I lash out over) & I overreact instead of taking the time and space to cool off? I apologize. The person may not need it, but when I'm in the wrong and know it? I like to own it. <chuckling> Being in the wrong is hardly a foreign concept. Mistakes are made. Correct & move on.

Stressors & Triggers happen. They've happened before, they'll happen again. Learning to sort them? When to stand up & when to back away? Useful damn thing. Not fun. But useful.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

My comments alone should be good for triggering around 98% of forum members, guests, and even the spam bots. lol ;)

 

[Saint Nik]

Still feeling so panicky and jittery! This trigger has been with me ALL day! :( I have cried, no. . .sobbed, wailed earlier today. Felt so stupid it was over a thread, over WORDS!!! But the thing is, if I get real with myself, it was WORDS that have caused me to feel this way from years ago!
So, all day, going into tonight. . . I am feeling very raw. Every cell and fibre of my being is reliving and rehashing all the old wounds again! It's torture, it's brutal. I feel choked up, I can hardly breathe right!

Waves of anxiety and panic coming over me every 10-20 mins or so! Keep reminding myself that the trigger brought up some childhood memories and that is all. I don't have to do anything about it, just teach (rewire?) the brain that it's okay now. I am okay and safe now. The abuse is no longer happening, though the brain can't figure it out for itself. . .and it's the f*cking brain? Or. . .could be because it's my brain and it wouldn't surprise me if it's malfunctioning, like everything else!

The usual suspects are happening: chest tightness, choking sensation, lump in throat, can't catch my breath, racing thoughts that are so chaotic, just typing all this down as a way to cope and get through the waves of panic and anxiety.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

Still feeling so panicky and jittery! This trigger has been with me ALL day! :( I have cried, no. . .s...

The thread was fine. You are just hypersensitive to criticism and judgement. I think everyone was respectful to you, even though they had varied opinions. I don't believe you were attacked in any way. People on here seem to be pretty sensible. And, if some jerk happens to come along in the future and really verbally assaults you, tell them to kiss the darkest part of your white ass. :tup:

 

[Saint Nik]

The thread was fine. You are just hypersensitive to criticism and judgement. I think everyone w...

The thread was a trigger and a reflection on myself. That threw me wayyyy back into memory and reliving things I totally forgot about. I had literally no control of anything afterwards.

Flashbacks came coming right at me to the point I felt I was regressing into a child. It was terrifying and I literally had no control of it.

It was never about what I said on the thread, it was never about what others said on the thread. To me, the thread just provoked offence and I put my hands up to the fact I didn't get my facts right, but I still made some valid points. I, in my adult mind see the logic in that!

But the trigger? No idea what happened, how it came out the blue like that and to be triggered because of a thread and people were getting offended? I started to freak out that much, anyone would have thought I was involved in a massacre!

Honestly. . .I have no problem, no issue with that thread. It's these feelings from the past, the pain, the reliving, the flashbacks, the waves of anxiety, the feelings of danger! I know it isn't that thread anymore as I made a deliberate decision through my insane craziness to get back on this site and face that trigger and that is when I made this thread.

Exposed and faced it! But, it was never that thread, it was never other members on here. It was simply a trigger that has brought up, drudged up the worst possible memories and even making me regress, it's horrible, it's scary, to be an adult and all of a sudden I become a child again! Not to mention the feelings of abuse all coming back to me.

I would rather have my near death experience images/flashbacks than the abuse I endured!

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

The thread was a trigger and a reflection on myself. That threw me wayyyy back into memory and relivin...

Yes, I know. Getting triggered sucks.

 

[Saint Nik]

Getting triggered sucks.

Yep! It does! Hope you're okay today yourself! Thanks for all your words of encouragement and support. Does mean a lot to me! Just hate the days when I struggle like this. Especially since I have been having more and more okay and good days and sometimes better days too. When the setback hits? Oh god, it's like getting bulldozed to the ground and the blasted thing comes back, only to reverse over you!

 

[Eleanor]

It wasn't other members that made me feel all those feelings I am feeling now, this is down to my past, how I was brought up with sadistic family members and how they treated me,

BRAVO!!! Standing ovation!!!! Huge huge huge stuff!!!

Breakthrough.

Pizza for everyone. :tup::tup::tup::D

 

[oasis2003]

Did not see the thread .
Threads and words on this site do trigger me. Lots of things daily trigger me. Mostly this site supports me and makes me realise that I am not alone when suffering. It is very important to me. Sometimes after a trigger from the site I do not read for a few days. On the whole for me being part of this community has helped me a lot and I have learnt a tremendous amount from other members. Also the humour on here which breaks through all the time I love.

 

[Saint Nik]

Pizza for everyone.

mine is a pepperoni please! :tup: