LadyUndomiel
New Here
My mom died when I was 19 and my dad died when I was 22. I'm 31 now. I was still living at home when my dad died and I was still in school and didn't have a job so I moved in with my aunt until I could figure something out after I graduated. Everything was "normal" up until around my dad's funeral. After that it was like my aunt wasn't the same person anymore. She would go on the computer and type up LONG hate filled notes about how I was a worthless excuse for a human being and she would leave them by the sink in the bathroom for me in the morning. She said I thought I was better than everybody because I didn't have a job. Even though I WAS looking, I was just having a ton of trouble with it. It wasn't like I didn't care. She would always yell at her 2 daughters about stuff and they would yell back at her. I wished the neighbors would have called the cops. I've actually blocked out most of the details of what happened while I was there. It was the worst 6 months of my life. I told my aunt I was afraid of her. She said I had no right to be because I brought it on myself by being selfish and lazy and ungrateful for all she was doing to help me. She tried to get me to join the army because hey they're always hiring. People who know me know there's no chance in hell I would survive that. Especially since my therapist diagnosed me with aspergers syndrome like a week before I met with the recruiter. My old youth pastor's wife met with my aunt and me to supposedly make peace but she took my aunt's side against me. So I hate her to this day. I wanted to kill myself while this was going on. I wanted to park my car in the garage and turn it on and just wait. But I parked my car on the street so I knew it wouldn't happen. My therapist was the only one who believed me about everything. She wanted to meet with my aunt and my aunt said no. That was all the proof I needed that she didn't care about me anymore. She said she didn't have the time but if she actually cared she would have made time. It would have only been one hour of one day. Eventually I moved in with my grandmother until I could get set up with a more permanent roommate. The last I ever heard from my aunt, she sent me a letter saying that I owed her $50 for some health insurance thing. She didn't care about how I was doing in my new job or anything. She just wanted the money. I wrote a check and sent it back with no response. And I haven't spoken to her since.
I was doing ok up until maybe a year or two ago. I have nightmares about my aunt every few months. I see her and it fills me with terror. It's usually along the lines of being her prisoner. I actually don't know when they started. By the time I realized it was a recurring thing it had already been going on for a while. I have a phobia of notes being left for me too, usually by roommates, that kind of thing. They're almost always harmless but I still freak out when I see them. And the biggest thing lately is I get triggered by people yelling at me. Specifically people I love. I expect bosses and people like that to be @$$holes. But when people close to me do that it hurts too much.
I was doing ok up until maybe a year or two ago. I have nightmares about my aunt every few months. I see her and it fills me with terror. It's usually along the lines of being her prisoner. I actually don't know when they started. By the time I realized it was a recurring thing it had already been going on for a while. I have a phobia of notes being left for me too, usually by roommates, that kind of thing. They're almost always harmless but I still freak out when I see them. And the biggest thing lately is I get triggered by people yelling at me. Specifically people I love. I expect bosses and people like that to be @$$holes. But when people close to me do that it hurts too much.
