We had the worst night...
It has been so hard to be around him lately because of his PTSD... Im afriad of how he will react if i say something that he takes the wrong way... and i am tired of him snapping at me everytime i say anything at all! It seems that he is always angry...or he just wants to be by himself... he looks hurt, and confused... i know he is scared and feels alone... it must be awful and to think that i feel i make it worse for him.
We argued last night because i feel his meds are making things worse for him and i feel he should talk to his doctor about it... I have been on anti-depressants and i know that they dont always function the way they should because everyone is different and has a different reaction, therefore it may take one try or several to get on the right anti-depressants.... please, if anybody knows this is not right, then post what is correct.
Also we argued because i want to be there for him when he is down or needs someone and he has a wall between us that i cannot climb over. I am a lil hard headed and i dont always go about things the right way but i am human...i am also a bit aggresive when getting my message across he has told me and now i notice.
i didnt want to do all that i did to him...
he told me i pushed him over the edge and i didnt want that. he just layed on the floor, his face covered for what seemed like a couple of hours! did not move at all... then finally when i wouldnt leave him alone, he exploded and there was nothing but anger coming from him...and he was hurt that i would not simply let him "cool off" why am i like this? why cant i be there for him? why dont i know how to be there for him?
I drove to my mothers house and stayed away for an hour... when i came back, he seemed a lil better...he asked me if i wanted cold pizza and we went to bed afterwards...
I feel horrible today....i feel depressed and i feel the distance from him...the one thing i dont want right now...
I
do not want to make his life a living hell...i want to show him that everything will be ok, and that things will bet better and that he is the strongest person i know. He is the sweetest person and has a heart of gold ive always told him...He doesnt deserve this.....
i dont know what to do...i know its me. I know i make things worse..I feel i am his problem right now..i just dont know how to stop doing all the wrong and start doing the right.
It has been so hard to be around him lately because of his PTSD... Im afriad of how he will react if i say something that he takes the wrong way... and i am tired of him snapping at me everytime i say anything at all! It seems that he is always angry...or he just wants to be by himself... he looks hurt, and confused... i know he is scared and feels alone... it must be awful and to think that i feel i make it worse for him.
We argued last night because i feel his meds are making things worse for him and i feel he should talk to his doctor about it... I have been on anti-depressants and i know that they dont always function the way they should because everyone is different and has a different reaction, therefore it may take one try or several to get on the right anti-depressants.... please, if anybody knows this is not right, then post what is correct.
Also we argued because i want to be there for him when he is down or needs someone and he has a wall between us that i cannot climb over. I am a lil hard headed and i dont always go about things the right way but i am human...i am also a bit aggresive when getting my message across he has told me and now i notice.
i didnt want to do all that i did to him...
he told me i pushed him over the edge and i didnt want that. he just layed on the floor, his face covered for what seemed like a couple of hours! did not move at all... then finally when i wouldnt leave him alone, he exploded and there was nothing but anger coming from him...and he was hurt that i would not simply let him "cool off" why am i like this? why cant i be there for him? why dont i know how to be there for him?
I drove to my mothers house and stayed away for an hour... when i came back, he seemed a lil better...he asked me if i wanted cold pizza and we went to bed afterwards...
I feel horrible today....i feel depressed and i feel the distance from him...the one thing i dont want right now...
I
do not want to make his life a living hell...i want to show him that everything will be ok, and that things will bet better and that he is the strongest person i know. He is the sweetest person and has a heart of gold ive always told him...He doesnt deserve this.....
i dont know what to do...i know its me. I know i make things worse..I feel i am his problem right now..i just dont know how to stop doing all the wrong and start doing the right.