Is Empathy More Prevalent In Sufferer?

[SunflowerHoney]

Noticing a vast amount of empathy here. Much more than I encounter in most of the people around me. Of course as a cpts sufferer people, I have mostly existed in invalidating environments. Then of course my stunted emotional maturity creates more invalidation towards me from coworkers, friends, etc.

Are pts sufferers more prone to empathy than the "average" person, or am I maybe just not exposed to it enough to see its prevalence much outside this venue?

 

[Fadeaway]

On average, I think so. I haven't met anyone without PTSD that has as much empathy as I have seen from people with it.

 

[Seasounds]

From my process, I was not raised with compassion, and consequently, didn't know how to share it. I stuffed my pain, and forced myself to not feel. Finally, when I became broken with flashbacks, and seeked compassionate support, eventually, I began to feel compassion for myself and others.

I find it rare to find a high level of compassion from most people, unless they have suffered with some disabling condition or have had very respectful and kind parents.

It is so moving to be in the company of compassionate people. Even though I am not alcoholic, through alcoholic friends, I have found that sitting amongst a heart-felt AA meeting is 'good medicine'.:tup:

 

[Seasounds]

Until I was broken with PTSD, and received compassion for others, I hadn't developed compassion for myself or anyone else.

Unless a person has experienced trauma or has been around trauma, I don't find very empathetic people; it seems like most people don't know how to the tolerate pain, that people with PTSD carry in their heart, mind, and body.

Having alcoholic friends, I have gone to some AA meetings, on their 'sober anniversary'. Much to my surprise, the heart-felt AA meetings have been very 'good medicine'.:tup: As the members spoke of, and felt pain, the rest of the members generated compassion in the room, since they had lived through similar experiences. Many AA members are familiar with PTSD, from their abusive childhoods.

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

I think it's that you can really put yourself in others shoes. We can really appreciate when someone is in pain we know how that feels because we feel it more often than not (in some way shape or form)

I used to work as a door to door canvasser for charities. Asking people to give a monthly donation, in the most run down and obviously poor housing estates I would get the most people signing up.
Obviously affluent areas, I would get the least compassion, most rude behaviour and doors slammed in my face.
The people in the poor areas can comprihend they are poor and stuggling and can put themselves in others shoes.
Obviously this wasn't always the case, wealthy people could be generous, kind and polite and some poor people were rude and what not. But when I saw a shitty run down housing scheme I was like "yes" (fist punch) and when I saw a "posh" neighbourhood I was like FFS!!

 

[RussH]

No one knows how another feels until they walk in that person's shoes. Many of us have walk in each others shoes, and know the devastating effect trauma has had on our lives.
The other people who have not suffered just don't get it.

 

[SunflowerHoney]

I have been thinking the same thing as you all--living in and dealing with trying circumstances gives us a wider perspective and a deeper ability to understand and somewhat know what others go through. But I think it's such a shame that empathy isn't something that's part of a core curriculum in schools. I haven't thought about it enough to figure out HOW to teach empathy though.... But how much better would the world be if empathy was taught to all instead of just 'earned' by some.

 

[Friday]

em·pa·thy
ˈempəTHē/
noun
1. the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

Are pts sufferers more prone to empathy than the "average" person

In my experience, in general, no. The opposite, if anything. As a crowd we tend to be pretty selfish & self focused, especially in regards to how our actions affect others in our lives, both our closest relationships (our supporters), and our more distant relationships (daily interactions with strangers)... Even to the point of outright paranoia / assuming those around us have evil intent / fear of being hurt or having to protect ourselves from people who couldn't really care less about & have no intention of hurting us. Moderate to severe trust issues tends to come along with the disorder. In specific, however, directly relating to others with PTSD? Sometimes. PTSD tends to split fairly radically, 180 degrees on a whole lot of issues, so it would depend often on whether the other person splits "our way", or the opposite.

 

[sun seeker]

Are pts sufferers more prone to empathy than the "average" person, or am I maybe just not exposed to it enough to see its prevalence much outside this venue?

I think it's more a case of empathy growing through a willingness to face and work on our issues. In that way, this forum is self selecting: people who are low in empathy and not willing to face their own pain won't be here, or won't stick around very long. If trauma were the recipe for empathy... well, the world would be a much kinder place.

 

[sun seeker]

But I think it's such a shame that empathy isn't something that's part of a core curriculum in schools. I haven't thought about it enough to figure out HOW to teach empathy though....

There are programs in some schools that do set out systematically to teach empathy by bringing mothers and babies into the classroom and encouraging the children to form a relationship with the babies over time. It's good, but... wouldn't it be better if all children learned this at home naturally? Maybe parenting classes are the way... and free therapy for the parents... and... and... so many good things that could be done. I wish I were healed so I could do more than try to survive.

 

[SunflowerHoney]

@FridayJones Yes, you're so right of course. I do tend to be very self-absorbed. I appreciate your perspective a whole lot.

I have a lot of anxiety about my tendency to see evil intent in others. But in my case at least, the people I see that in the most are people that HAVE harmed me, people with whom I have tried to resolve things with. The inability to resolve these conflicts does cause me to see more of their intentions as bad than is probably actually the case.

@sun seeker, you're absolutely right. Learning empathy in the home is much preferred. How funny that that option didn't occur to me. (I don't have children.) I also wish I was healed to be able to do more. I feel you.

 

[RussH]

But I think it's such a shame that empathy isn't something that's part of a core curriculum in schools. I haven't thought about it enough to figure out HOW to teach empathy though..

While empathy can be learned, it cannot be taught. How do you teach someone what to feel? Some are born with compassionate souls, and have the innate ability to show empathy, others learn it through adversity and suffering.
Empathy is taught with life experience, and unfortunately that is something that cannot be taught out of a book.