Stubborn negative core beliefs: i am not worth protecting

[Justmehere]

I have this negative core belief:

I am not worth protecting. I am inherently not worthy of being protected from harm.

I am furious that this is true.

Believing I am not worth protecting - the belief itself - is fueling my PTSD symptoms. It is screwing up how I act in relationships.

I am tired of being miserable, and I am trying to change this belief. Other negative core images I can at least wrestle with this. This one, it feels more true than anything else. No one but myself has protected me in my life. No one. There is no evidence to the contrary.

Anyone else feel this way? Anyone else have any success in changing a core belief that they have zero evidence to believe anything else is true?

 

[scout86]

Anyone else feel this way?

Yes. Kind of. Intellectually, I suppose maybe it's not true. But, as my T has said, I only believe it in my head.

Anyone else have any success in changing a core belief that they have zero evidence to believe anything else is true?

Not yet? Twice, I've told people pieces of "my story" and they've been angry on my behalf and said they wished they'd been there or things to that effect. I believe them both. I still haven't gotten used to the idea. I can't decide if it's some weird cosmic fluke or a trick that I just haven't seen yet. My T seems to think there's a route through this. He's indicated that he doesn't waste his time with people he doesn't think he can help and he hasn't fired me. (yet) But I have no idea what it is.

So, I may not know the route, but I'm pretty sure you're not the only one on the journey!

 

[Kintsugi]

JMH, I'm so glad you posted this; you really nailed down an issue I have that I tangentially understood but had not nailed down as you have.

I have definitely struggled with this concept, and it has led me to retraumatize myself by seeking men (boys?) in the past who were possessive, aggressive, and ultimately abusive.

In spite of making better choices in men, I had continued to seek protection from love interests yet simultaneously disbelieve their willingness to protect me. It's exhausting and has brought nothing but strife into my relationships, yet it is like a compulsion I feel helpless to halt.

My heart goes out to you as you struggle to overcome this negative core belief. I hear you.

 

[Tinyflame]

No no luck with changing negative core beliefs in the absence of other evidence.

 

[Dana1010]

Anyone else have any success in changing a core belief that they have zero evidence to believe anything else is true?

I've been thinking about this too. I know there are things about me that just plain suck, for instance. They're not "beliefs"; they are actual things about me that suck. I haven't had much luck hobbling together spurious evidence to disprove the obvious, so now it's basically down to two things. Either I put myself through some kind of numbing process whereby constant exposure to the fact renders it powerless over me, or I decide to adopt a new belief despite the lack of any evidence for it. I mean just give up on needing everything to be true, and say, "I'm going to stop testing this belief against observable reality and believe it because it feels good, period." It's very hard for me to warm to anything that smacks of denial, but I don't know what else to do at this point.

Anyway, that's my issue. The belief that you're not worthy of protection is at least falsifiable on rational grounds. It should be that much easier for you to change it.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I was never protected either. A excellent book about false beliefs is Toxic Parents by Susan Froward, it has been an invaluable resource for me during many years in recovery. I feel for you and am admiring you for being able to become aware of this because I have learned once I become aware I am in a better position to change the false belief. This is what has helped me to overcome so much but I still have such a long way to go. Many hugs. You are not alone in this.

 

[scout86]

I am not worth protecting

What do you think is the criteria that makes someone "worth protecting"?

 

[The Albatross]

Yup, I was thinking CBA (cost benefit analysis)... but didn't go there, worth examining though Scout. Edited cuz I said Simon.

 

[illusionist]

In the grand scheme of things I'm not worth protecting. I'm worth protecting by those close to me because I am part of their emotional and physical life.

 

[scout86]

In the grand scheme of things I'm not worth protecting.

See, what I know of BOTH of you, you make a very positive contribution to the world. The world IS a better place because you're in it. To me, it's a slam dunk, you're worth protecting. I run into a bit of a problem wondering if someone has to earn the right to be protected, or something. Kids? Kids are ALWAYS worth protecting! They have potential. It's in the best interest of the universe to protect them and nurture them so they have the best chance possible to go forth and add to the positive energy in the universe.

 

[illusionist]

I don't see that I make a positive contribution to the world....the world would not change when I cease to exist....it has not changed because I do exist.....it carries on regardless.

Now those close to me, and those whom I may make a difference to in some way?...I can see that.

 

[Justmehere]

What do you think is the criteria that makes someone "worth protecting"?

You stopped me in my tracks with this question. I have been pondering it all day.

I have also taken the day off and I have been meeting with elected officials all day about a law that needs to change to protect people, including me, from being victimized again.

It's been a really weird and intense day around this issue. My head is still spinning....