This Is Just To Say

[Kintsugi]

This is Just to Say

I have begun to reconcile
The idea of who my ever-critical audience
Would like me to be with
Who it is I might really be

And who the crowd has perpetually
Attempted to jeer into some
Controlled and palatable vision
Of what they decided was right.

Forgive me
I have been so quiet
So sweet
And in such disorganized anguish

 

[TXbandit]

((((((((Simon)))))))

 

[jaccat]

This is just to say
I am In the process of
Leaving behind what
I was never meant to be.

The more I explore
This inner well of strength,
The more I become
Incomprehensible to you.

Forgive me,
I know it disturbes you.

 

[Kintsugi]

Oh hey, @jaccat, I didn't realize there were other people in this boat I've been manning lately... ;)

 

[Ronin]

This is just to say,
I laid my words to rest,
For the winter, maybe
And you brought them back.

Back with questions
I didn't want to ask myself
But wanted someone to answer for me.

Forgive me while I
Forget how to
Retreat into silence.

& omg Simon and Jaccat, I want to answer you both in poems or follow up on yours. I'll get to it. Hopefully. ;)

 

[Ronin]

This is just to say,
I still don't know what I'm doing here without you
And to be honest
I'm angry you bastard are
Just breathing dirt

That dirt
You promised to throw into eyes of everyone
That looks wrong at me

Forgive me as I
Focus on all your soft
I care, sis-bro-whatever
And remember to live for you, without you.

(To E., and 11/11 can bite me, for all I care. So can he.)

 

[Ronin]

This is just to say,
Some times, poems hurt.
Opening all the wounds
I'm all I'm Fine!, about.

That fine
That kinda lies by default,
But which is my
I'm Team Life, bitch.

Forgive me,
while I remember, once more
Streets are not my home
Poetry is.

(Dedicated to Border Brother, who Just Knows Better. Halfassed salute & a shot of vodka saved for later.)

 

[Ronin]

This is just to say,
I still recall your looks
Of planning and faith and contempt.

Those looks that changed
Into burning hell seconds later
As I said words wrong.

Forgive me,
While I stop thinking of all the cuts
And cut off the memory of you
Holding onto new lifelines.

Dedicated to Mr. Brat the Ex.

* * *
This is just to say,
You're my softest snowflake
And warm light in my heart.

That heart
You kept beating
For so many years.

Forgive me,
While I do my damnedest
To remember you, my sister.

Dedicated to Lightbringer the Sistah In Spirit.

* * *
This is just to say,
You're the glances at my hands,
You couldn't break worse

Those hands
That perhaps fail for too many activities
But not for holding who I care for.

Forgive me
While I shake off the feeling of you
And let my skin breathe freely, too.

Dedicated to El C, yours only in f*ck you.

 

[Ronin]

This is just to say,
Sometimes I can't find simple phrases.
Or even words
Or sounds that aren't breathing.

That breathing,
That I'll very much need to
Shout a wish to you.

Forgive me while I shout
Happy Birthday,
Dear @Simply Simon,
Stay awesome.

 

[I'm not Spiderman]

This is just to say

I will not be able
To grab a coffee
With you.
Work is keeping me busy.
Plus I am
Recovering
From the flu.

I remember,
This time last year
We grabbed coffee after class.
It was a cold, dreary,
Miserable, grey day
Like this one and
Probably raining.

I cannot recall
The exact date...
Sometime near Xmas...
But I do remember
That I felt like a thousand splendid suns
With that delicious, sweet,
Delightful, earthy, concoction.

How it warmed me
From the inside out,
And the dizzying rich aroma was
Filling the whole place,
Spilling out onto the city street.

And the way you toyed with the cardboard cup,
And how you held it gently with both hands,
Guarding and protecting it safely from the world,
And how in the middle of the cold season,
I felt that I was burning, yearning
How I would do anything to be
That cup.

 

[Ronin]

This is just to
- I can't say
High waves drown me
Everyday.

 

[Ronin]

This is just to say,
I've stolen nothing but your heart
Fingertips trying
To make it beat again.

In that quiet space it beats
It can let you tell me
What I didn't understand
From so few remarks.

Forgive me,
While I stop thinking
Our history's nothing
Leaving betrayed me worse.