Am I Co-conscious?

[BabyBlues]

I've had DP and DR since I was young maybe 2 or 3

I'm still reseraching DID, I think that I may have it, the thing is-is that I don't really loose track of time, unless it's nighttime and maybe a few other times. But I'm not sure of it was a dream or not.
Night time I have been known to do some strange things. But the thing of the matter is they are things I would do but wouldn't. if that makes sense at all.

I have another me inside of my head, she's always been there since I was young just like the Depersonlization and Derelizaiton

I believe that I may be co-conscious, sometimes I have "dreams." I'm not sure if they happened in real life or not. A few years back I remember riding with my mother I was like 10, she was telling me how I need to be more social or something about grades and me failing ( I don't quite recall it was kind of a haze.)

It felt like a dream, I asked her the next day did we really have that conversation, because I couldn't tell if I was there or not. It's strange really certain things feel like dreams, I don't know if they're real.
She kind of roll her eyes and acted as though I was annoying her with my question

I have a lot of stories like this ones where I can't tell if I was there or not.

I pefer not to talk to her or anyone else about this (that's why I'm here hoping someone can give advice or understand or have similar expereince.)


Whenever I do talk about these things, people kind of just shake their heads or take it as a joke,
Especially my mother, she is very difficult to talk to. Ever since I was a child all she did was lay in bed all day, and watch tv play on her phone etc

She's also never moved out of the house, so back then we lived with her mother (my grandmother in her cramped house.) She doesn't pay any bills, and had my grandmother buy her car and pays her cell phone bill..She still lives there to this day. Oops I'm getting off track...


I have this issue with my eyes, they roll back for small amount of seconds, I read that-that could be signs of DID also, I've seen an eye doctor about this I wear glasses and he says everything looks fine

I'm wondering what could have caused me to split off like this, what could have caused me to hear another me inside of my head

DID has to be truma induced usually I think

But other than having a lazy depressive mother, and being bullied in school I can't think of anything..I mean doesn't the average person go through these things? I wouldn't think it be enough to cause me to dissociate like this

Sorry for the typos it's late..and sorry if this is to long to read...I'll be lucky to get any answers

 

[digger]

I've had DP and DR since I was young maybe 2 or 3

Assuming DP and DR are depersonalisation and derealisation, is this something that you were diagnosed with from that age, or that you're diagnosing yourself with? Toddlers and very young children are still very much making sense of the world and their place in it. They don't differentiate between reality and fantasy in the same way older children and adults are able to. Do you feel in your case it was more extreme for some reason than just the way pretty much all toddlers perceive and interact with the world? I'd actually be more concerned about a toddler who seemed to have an advanced grasp on reality than one living in a fantasy world tbh.

DID has to be truma induced usually I think

DID is trauma induced, and most experts I think agree on it needing to be early trauma for it to develop (before the age of five if I remember correctly). Doesn't mean the person suffering it will always remember the trauma(s) that caused it though.

I pefer not to talk to her or anyone else about this

You really need to be speaking to someone professional about this. Whether you consider them traumatic or not, there are clearly things that are bothering you about your life and childhood that are having an impact on you. If you're not already seeing a therapist, then that would be my advice. If you are, what have they said about the dissociative symptoms?

 

[digger]

other than having a lazy depressive mother, and being bullied in school I can't think of anything..I mean doesn't the average person go through these things? I wouldn't think it be enough to cause me to dissociate like this

Also to say that not everyone grows up with a parent with mental health problems. Not everyone experiences bullying. It is true that a lot of people do though, and it's also true that a lot of those people suffer damaging effects from those things that they need help to sort out. It's okay to get yourself that help.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I agree with the others. I would recommend seeking professional guidance. I have not heard of the eyes-rolling back thing as a sign of DID (and I have DID, but I am no expert on it). Also, I think a lot of people experience an inner child (inner self) so that is not necessarily a sign of DID. Only a trained professional can really diagnosis dissociative disorders and DID is almost always begun when there is early childhood trauma. I don't remember the trauma(s), but my parts do. I only became aware of the DID about 2.5-3 years ago after another trauma and that is a fairly common way for people with DID to become fully aware. Anyway, self-diagnosis isn't the best route to go. If you can talk to a professional, I think it would be much more helpful for you.

 

[BabyBlues]

Assuming DP and DR are depersonalisation and derealisation, is this something that you were diagnosed wit...

Thank you for your responce

And yes I remember having DP and DR from a very young age I know people say that's impossible but I know
I remember going to the park with my mother and I kept telling her I didn't feel real I was scared and the world around me felt so strange

i diganosed myself with Dp and Dr, i've been reading about it since middle school...

I've spoke to other people who have had it for years now and can relate to how they feel

I'm seeing a doctor in a few weeks

Thanks everyone