Sufferer Hi I'm Kp

[K.P]

Another night that i can't fall asleep. My stomach turns even though I am safe in a new state with a whole new life. I have a family now. I should be happy now but I can't. It's hard to forget how terrible the world can be. That's not my world anymore; I got to walk away. I can't help but think I brought part of it with me. I want to be different I can't accept having ptsd or depression or anxiety I will fight to get well I just need to not feel so alone.

 

[Deleted member 20978]

Welcome KP! This is a good place.

 

[K.P]

Welcome KP! This is a good place.

Is ptsd something you just have to accept? Does it get easier?

 

[Kim Vasel]

Another night that i can't fall asleep. My stomach turns even though I am safe in a new state with a whole n...

You cannot move away from that which lives inside you.

 

[kona355]

Is ptsd something you just have to accept? Does it get easier?

Welcome to the forum -

Learning to manage the effects of PTSD helps some things get easier. Part of what I've learned is how to change my perspective, or my filter, in the way I understand what is going on around me. The struggle for me is following through on the daily need to reframe my negative thinking. Harmful core beliefs (or misbeliefs) run so deep it takes time to change these so their power is lessened.

Staying in touch here on this forum has helped me a lot since joining about one month ago. There are so many good people on here who are supportive, and they understand. I hope you find the same for your journey of discovery.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

Welcome to the Forum :)

:watching: "I can't help but think I brought part of it with me.":watching:

Yep :(

:tdown:"Is ptsd something you just have to accept?":tdown:

;)I guess that depends on how you define your PTSD.:bookworm:

I had to accept my experiences leading to PTSD had a strong influence during my developmental stages meaning I perceive the world differently:oops: Nothing can change that.

I had to accept that while I do think differently :clown:
It doesn't mean more or less intelligent, just different :clown:

Perhaps its not a matter of if you accept it, but how you accept it.:chicken::shifty::brb:

"Does it get easier?":confused:

Sometimes, yes:headphone:

Other times, not so much:banghead:

Welcome to Life:cool:

With a Twist:wtf:

 

[K.P]

Welcome to the forum -

Learning to manage the effects of PTSD helps some things get easier. Part of wha...

Thank you. I think it's a constant struggle I've been through therapy and groups before seems to help but once I stray it all comes back and gets worse again l. I no longer make time for other groups but this may make all the difference having a group I can come to on my time. Thanks for your response

 

[K.P]

Welcome to the Forum :)

:watching: "I can't help but think I brought part of it with me.":...

It's nice to beable to relate but I wish we didn't have to be this way. It would help to if I accepted the past but I'm so angry that I had the life I did. I just want to be "normal" maybe no one is normal. So many people in my life "fake" it so well. Thanks for the response. Happy to hear from you. I've really isolated myself.

 

[kona355]

'...if I accepted the past but I'm so angry that I had the life I did.'

That kind of anger is normal and good, I think. Anger at my past helped me express some things in therapy I had been too ashamed to ever tell anyone before. Accepting that the past happened doesn't mean to excuse it, only acknowledge it in a way that allows healing to begin.

I have to think in terms of physical wounds when I try to understand what emotional wounds have done to me. If I spill boiling water on my hand it makes me pretty mad and if I don't accept it happened...well, you know.

I spent years lamenting my childhood, knowing it shouldn't have happened and I wanted those responsible to make it right. It's been over 20 years since I first confronted my mother and she has yet to accept her part in allowing the beatings.

I think acceptance of the past is something that when it comes, enables us to begin to bind up the hurt. My family sure wasn't going to do any first aid on the pain they inflicted, though I waited for it a long time. This too, is wounding from the rejection involved.

The first time I talked with my mother, at my T's instruction, about all the violence her husband had inflicted on me, my sister and brother, she said my T needed counseling. I'm pretty logical and so it was maddening trying to convince her with logical explanations, only to have her deny there was every any wrong done.

It took a while for the light to come on, to see she didn't want to understand. I read on another thread recently about this kind of denial being the means for those who enable abusers, by sitting by silently, to avoid the fact they failed to protect us. I finally had to walk away from the toxic effects of it all.

It really is hard as you mentioned about the constant struggle, but freedom, even measures of it over time, is worth the struggle. The fact you recognize so much already about the healing you want is progress.

 

[intothelight]

@K.P Welcome! :)