What Would You Call This?

[Obo]

There is a situation I am concerned about, but don't know whether I am overreacting. What would you call it when a grown man pinches young girls' butts (girls around puberty) and denies it when confronted?

I don't know that this is actually happening currently, but have been told about it in the past and know that this man does spend time around a young relative of a friend. I have warned my friend and she doesn't seem concerned. Is this what would be called unwanted sexual touching? Or am I blowing it out of proportion? I know how I would have felt about it at that age, but I don't know if I'm normal. Help me figure this out please!

 

[Upuj]

What would you call it when a grown man pinches young girls' butts (girls around puberty) and denies it when confronted?

GROOMING AND YES THE PARENTS SHOULD BE AWARE OF IT AND THE GIRLS SHOULD BE AWARE THAT ITS NOT OK AND VERY OK TO TELL HIM NOT TO!

 

[Ugiho]

And to add, your friend whom isnt concerned isnt correct to be not concerned. Research how preditor groom their victims!

 

[Obo]

I am the OP.

My friend is an incest survivor. So am I. We both have some confusion about what is normal. She says her young relative is perfectly capable of speaking up for herself, but I have my doubts. I should reiterate that I don't actually know this is happening in this situation. I just know this person has done this in the past. I acted at the time to protect my own child, but I am not sure whether this young person is in danger or not.

Can I ask my main question again though? Does this count as unwanted sexual touching?

 

[Fitic]

Does this count as unwanted sexual touching?

Yes!

 

[Obo]

Okay, thank you. I will do something about this. I'm not sure what because my friend is in denial, but I will do something.

 

[Semot]

Yes!

And its also grooming behavior. Sorry to reply on my own post but it wont let me endit it. Young girls think "he likes me" then think more is ok and so on so yes unwanted and in the states under a certian age illegal, and grooming behavior.

 

[Tugub]

I'm not sure what because my friend is in denial,

Likely her "normal" so shes not seeing this as it really is.

 

[Obo]

Um... anyone have any suggestions on what to do in a situation like this where you don't actually know that a young person is in danger but are concerned that they might be? I needed first to check that my concern is not unwarranted, and now I have an answer to that but don't know what to do about it.

 

[Obo]

Likely her "normal"

Well yes, she was abused at the same age.

I've warned her about this man and told her to keep him away from this girl twice now. She doesn't pay any attention and just sees it as me not liking him. The matter came to my attention again when I found out she invited him over for Christmas dinner. I don't really have a connection with the girl so my best bet is still trying to talk to my friend, but I don't know how to get her to see.

 

[Hojesim]

Can I ask my main question again though? Does this count as unwanted sexual touching?

It's a grey area. It can be, or it can just be obnoxious, or it can be totally normal given the context of who is involved.

As an example of the last one... That's something my family does when someone is dawdling up the stairs. Mooooooove it! Move it! It's half serious & half game. Absolutely no history of abuse in my family. Roughly 25% of the families I've known in my life do similar types of things. Whether it's a pinch on the bum or swat or whatever.

Is it sexual? Nope. Is it unwanted? Nope / Maybe. Depends whether someone is being a slow poke going up the stairs on purpose, or not, to incite someone else into chasing them. ((No playing on the stairs! // Yes mom! // Aieeeeeee! Thunderin hoards up and down the stairs and in hallways // What did I just say??? // We're not on the stairs anymore!!)) The grown ups are more guilty of this game than the kids, usually :P

Kinda basic... But for something to be unwanted sexual touching? Both of those components have to be there. Pinching can be sexual, or not. Bums can be sexual, or not. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it isn't. Really depends on other factors.

 

[Vopuv]

If someone pinched my daughter in the ass I would pick him up by the collar and throw him up against the wall. Confused mr. pincher? Let me help you out with what is acceptable and what is not.

Think of a grown woman walking up stairs. Would she expect that someone pinch her ass by a stranger or a 'friend'? Little girl or boy children are NOT to be touched anywhere on the ass. EVER.