Death There Is No Way It Happened...

[HBW]

Don't get me wrong it happened. It happened on a hot summer day in the south. I was nineteen and had just completed my freshmen year in college. So much future was ahead of me. I grew up working construction with my father. I had a blast and loved every minute of it until this day. We were on site early that morning and so were a few other people. It all started when we crossed an unfinished hard wood floor to walk down to the basement of this house. A man I'd never met before rushed up to me and held up a knife and told me he was going to cut my f****** throat. You would think I would have taken him seriously but this sort of horse play happens quite a bit around job sites. So, I laughed and just said " What?". He was not joking and my father was not impressed. He was on the stairs listening to the whole crazy interaction. One thing lead to another. Some scuffling around and a few kick to the ribs but finally the job foreman convinced the guy to leave the house. The guy was mad because he was prepping the floor and we had just walked on it. We decided to leave the job after that and go get parts. For some dumb ass reason my father threw the iron pipe he carried out of the house into the back of his truck and the he proceeded to walk down to the guys van. I had already jumped into my truck to leave when I watched the whole thing in slow mo. My dad walked around to the drivers side of the van and next thing I knew six or seven gun shots rang out. My cousin and I jumped out of my truck and tried to run over to my father but the guy then pointed his smoking gun in our faces. So, I ran as fast as I could back to the house screaming for someone to call 911. Then I ran back to my father. There is oh so much more but I'm left to this day wondering why he went down to the guys van. Knowing my father he was going to apologize for kicking the guy but who knows I'd never seen him amped up like that before either. Maybe he was going to beat the snot out of him. Fast forward a bit to my days in court. I'm not sure what's more painful but it was certainly a final blow for me. At trail the guy was painted as a church going young man who was picked on a lot as a child and my father was described as a giant of a man with rage issues. I broke down on the stand having to explain our actions, and it probably was nothing but I felt like a failure. The man was found innocent. He got off on a self defense claim. I was changed from that day forward. It's like the life i knew before had never happened. My brain and emotions and thoughts were gone. This totally new person was just magical in my body now. Anyway, that's part one. I was not acquainted with death before this day but the years to follow brought more and more deaths. More happening directly in front of me and others who just disappeared one day. I dropped out of school for a year and ran my dads company finishing up ongoing projects. When I did go back to school I changed from a straight A premed student to a straight A and F mass communications major. It was actually a photography major but the school had to give it pretty name for the certificate. When I say A and F student I mean I couldn't keep my head on straight. I'd forget that i even had some classes. Go to them once and only remember at the end of the semester when the grades came out. Needless to say my GPA is wrecked. SMH.. I did learn to rock climb quite well during that time. Every weekend, it was about the only time i felt freedom from the bonds.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

That is absolutely awful and terrifying! I'm so sorry that you went through all of that, and I must say that unfortunately this is much more common than it should be. I hope you had theraphy to deal with it, also, how old were you when it happened.

Do you still rock climb, if it is helpful to you, maybe you should go back to doing it :hug: And I understand the A and F thing, when I was experiencing a lot of trauma, I was having problems with classes like that a lot. It's awful that it happened to you, and that you lost so much of your life to that.

Similar things happened here, there was one neighbour of ours, and he got killed in a coffeeshop because he was annoying to some guy, who went home to get a rifle, and then shot him with the AK-47, to death of course. Got off on PTSD.

I'm really sorry that it happened, hopefully talking through it here, helps you recover, trauma diaries are also very helpful. I recommend to make one.

I'm sorry for the short response, a bit shocked still

 

[HBW]

That is absolutely awful and terrifying! I'm so sorry that you went through all of that, and I must say...

It happened a little over twenty years ago. I was 19. The difficult thing I'm still shocked by is when a new friend or stranger starts talking and asking questions about families. It's the normal path for conversation but to this day i still panic and feel a sense of oh crap do I have time and energy for this right now. ;) It happened just the other day with a friend.Probably why I unconsciously stear clear of close connection.

 

[HBW]

That is absolutely awful and terrifying! I'm so sorry that you went through all of that, and I must say...

It does happen -- a lot. Not to long ago a guy went into a coffee shop in the Seattle area and killed several people for no apparent reason then he drove across town in front of our home and committed suicide. I can not comprehend what world I lived in before these events. I grew up in a small farm town in the south where nothing landed on my radar I guess. It probably was still happening but I was blind to it. Now it's like it follows me.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Yea, once certain stuff happens, you become more sensitive to it, and can see it more often, it's like those wierd images that after seeing the other interpretration you cannot unsee it. Similar for this. Once it happens, you see it more and more, somehow...

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

How absolutely horrid!!!!!! There is nothing I can say except that karma will get that guy in the end or God will, whichever comes first. No church going man would kill another human being or hurt another person like that, picked on or not. My prayers and love are with you.

 

[Deleted member 20978]

@HBW Sorry to hear all this. Welcome to the forums, this is a good place.

 

[HBW]

Yea, once certain stuff happens, you become more sensitive to it, and can see it more often, it's like t...

How absolutely horrid!!!!!! There is nothing I can say except that karma will get that guy in th...

Thanks for your support and understanding. I grew up in a church too, it's no excuse for your actions. I figure the guy was mentally unstable and had other things going on. I knew and expected lies(stretching the truth) from lawyers . It was going to happen but I was truly ignorant with how juries worked. I think about the evidence that was given and I still just fail to understand the outcome. Autopsy reports everyones statements matching up( even the guys with the gun) The time it took to leave the house from the first fight to the time it took for my father to walk to his van supposedly pardoned him from his initial threat on my life. He pleaded self defense, he feared for his life. That's all it takes I guess. Your free to shoot unarmed people. Grrrrr.. I'm still afraid of a jury to this day.

 

[GabrielleGrace]

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

A girl at work said to me once, "You never talk about your parents." No, I don't.

I gave her my pat answer that I tell everyone when I don't want to be vulnerable in a conversation: "My mother died under tragic circumstances that are not the topic of pleasant conversation." I've never had anyone ask or try to guess what that might be. My brother was living with his girlfriend (who he later married) and she still didn't know how my mom died. You don't have to tell anyone. Ever. And no one will expect you to.

 

[HBW]

I hear you GabrielleGrace. I use to work with new people a lot training apprentices and we had lots of time on our hands while driving from job to job. Initially i use to just tell them up front about what went down, to try and prevent the awkward moment of shock and stumbling around with an nice way to let them off the hook. That worked but now I need to retrain myself to do this with new friends and such. You right though, spot on.