Hi jen12,
It sounds like you are having a really tough time there, I don't know what I can say to make things any better.
It doesn't seem like people are taking your point of view seriously. This is common for us with CPTSD, we grew up not being taken seriously and adults we project a "I can't be taken seriously" signal. Its something I suffer from too and can really be a problem when trying to put a point across, even when you're 100% correct. In fact I have found that when people do actually listen I am so shocked that I don't know what to do next!
I can see that having EDS really complicates things, as much as I can see that the health workers include you in the team discussions, your CPTSD gets in the way of being able to get your point across as an equal member of the team, and getting heard, after all this is your life and your body, your point is important.
If you're like the rest of us, our problems with interpersonal relationships means that you might not have anybody who can advocate for you and help you impress on others what you want to say, that was the job you hoped your therapist would do, so now to make things worse you find yourself being pushed around like a small powerless child again. CPTSD can make us rebel against this kind of authority and sometimes we get triggered and do what kept us going during our childhood.
Just be sure that your decisions are not based on a need to rebel against authority figures, I find myself making what at the time seem to be rational decisions and after a few months, when I analyse them they turn out to be driven by feelings,so its incredibly hard to be objective. Perhaps write down your thoughts and talk to your T, letting her know how you feel betrayed and dis-empowered.
Often the most powerful thing you can do is do nothing and go with the flow.
