Other My Boyfriend Seems To Be Paranoid Because He Thinks I Love His Brother

[Aida-Kanan]

@Aida-Kanan Yes, ending a relationship hurts, but this is a relationship that is...

Yes I think best for me is to move on

 

[Queen Boudica]

OK. I think your mum is absolutely right to not want you together. She is your mother and doesn't want to see you hurt. And as I said this guy is showing very dangerous behaviour. I know that is hard to believe when you are blinded by young love.

I don't know why any 18 year old boy who had a chance to play for a top football team would refuse to stay close to their girlfriend. Again that is just not a normal thing to do. He sounds like he is completely attached to you in a very dangerous way. I know it looks like love because he 'sacrificed' his soccer chances, but again, sacrificing is something to draw you in. It isn't love when someone is obsessively attached to you.

 

[Aida-Kanan]

OK. I think your mum is absolutely right to not want you together. She is your mother and doesn't w...

Yes I can see...and I behaved so blindly.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Just be very careful he may not take it well. Don't tell him on your own that you want to move on. Somewhere in public where there are adults. And don't hesitate to call police if he does anything.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Also he may throw all the emotional stuff at you, crying, threatening suicide. Don't listen. Hopefully he won't. Ask your mum for help. She is probably very worried.

 

[Aida-Kanan]

Just be very careful he may not take it well. Don't tell him on your own that you want to move on....

He already doesn't talk to me but the chance that he comes back is high.
Well I can easily get out of it I think.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Good luck. It is good you recognised the signs. I wish they taught about abuse in school and the dangerous signs. Remember you deserve a partner who is kind, and respectful.

 

[Aida-Kanan]

Also he may throw all the emotional stuff at you, crying, threatening suicide. Don't listen. Hopefu...

Thank you so much for helping me, sometimes we need someone to remind us of the reality...

 

[Aida-Kanan]

Good luck. It is good you recognised the signs. I wish they taught about abuse in school and the da...

Good luck with you too,
I will remember your sentence next time before I close the door of my head.

 

[Queen Boudica]

oh we definitely do. took 24 years to wake up to reality and I needed someone strong to help me out. Once you get pulled in, it is so hard to escape, because reality is very much twisted and contorted by abusive people. That's why if you see the signs get away fast. And there are definitely some huge signs with this guy.

 

[Aida-Kanan]

oh we definitely do. took 24 years to wake up to reality and I needed someone strong to help me ou...

Wow 24 years is such long time!

 

[Queen Boudica]

Yes, but I didn't have a loving mother to turn to I was running away from her, who was also abusive and ran straight into him. It isn't just about violence, it is about control, putting you down, isolating you, making you dependent on them, blaming you and making you feel sorry for them, that they are looking after you. Till you are so confused and lost any confidence you had. And a lot of the time, abusive men start out charming and like they love you so much, it is a slow process. Always trust your instincts, I didn't have enough of those instincts because i grew up in an abusive household and that was the norm. You've done really well, asking for help, that is very mature for 16.