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General Is It Just Me?
- Post starter Mytime
- Start date
- Status
Hi mytime
I can only speak for myself as a CPTSD sufferer. I find relationships of any kind very difficult. Most of my romantic relationships burn out after a couple of years.
I find it hard to trust and am very angry inside. I have learnt to control my anger. I still have the odd outburst once every couple of years that I feel really guilty about.
Not knowing your partner or what they have been through makes this a difficult question.
For me patients and a boot up the bum every now and again would help.
I hope you find support and some sort kind of answer to your question.
I think the only person who can truly answer you is your partner.
Stay strong!
G x
Friday
Sponsor
Yep. Sometimes I totally earned it, sometimes they're not seeing me / triggered as fawk, other times the only reason all they saw was shit was because their head was up their own ass.:shifty:
- Post starter
- #5
Thanks for you replays. I've been with my husband for 26years more than half my life. I have never experienced this angry side of him. And I will say there were times I had my head stuck up my ass. I have no problem owning my own shit.(can't change what you don't acknowledge ) but can you go from showing only anger and hatred to trying to work things out. I don't know exactly where the anger is coming from .
Friday
Sponsor
- Post starter
- #7
- Moderator
- #8
Sweetpea76
VIP Member
Oh yeah... I've had him look at me like he wanted to murder me before. Usually when he's finally gone over the edge with his stressors. Slam doors, punch walls, you name it.
That's his anger issue, not mine.
He can do 180's with his emotions too... Run hot and cold easily. Usually it happens when he's more symptomatic.
That's his anger issue, not mine.
He can do 180's with his emotions too... Run hot and cold easily. Usually it happens when he's more symptomatic.
Maybe something triggered him that he has not experienced? Just a thought.....
- Post starter
- #10
Good point thank you.
Unfortunately, yes, I have felt overwhelming anger.
From the memories I have had, when other people have put one's life on the line, there is a massive surge of anger that comes to a person in that moment that never gets expressed because you are too busy surviving.
Later on, it washes over me in waves when it gets triggered by little things that my spouse does (sometimes that are so innocent and well-intended). I can see that his action is well-intended, caring even. It is SO confusing to ME and to HIM that these actions trigger this unresolved pot of boiling emotions.
I find it best to totally humble myself to my experience and to him. I simply have to come clean and admit that his kind gesture is causing me to explode inside, against my own will and reason. I have to grieve that this is totally messed up and incoherent, and that is how I'm wired. It makes us both sad that we cannot experience something together because of my PTSD. Then, perhaps, we hope it will improve. But at least I've come clean about what's triggering me right now.
There is no real solution on this yet as it's a life-long pattern that has only grown worse on this front, and I don't know why or how to stop it.
That sense of helplessness to the trigger that seems to not get better with exposure is ADDING hugely to the stress cups. I have been unable to talk about it much until recently. I think it gets so damn frustrating to the Sufferer that it's hard to talk about it.
There is this huge fear that I'll talk about it and that will give it more power or my Supporter won't understand, and will keep doing it, which will magnify the trigger and retraumatize me further.
From the memories I have had, when other people have put one's life on the line, there is a massive surge of anger that comes to a person in that moment that never gets expressed because you are too busy surviving.
Later on, it washes over me in waves when it gets triggered by little things that my spouse does (sometimes that are so innocent and well-intended). I can see that his action is well-intended, caring even. It is SO confusing to ME and to HIM that these actions trigger this unresolved pot of boiling emotions.
I find it best to totally humble myself to my experience and to him. I simply have to come clean and admit that his kind gesture is causing me to explode inside, against my own will and reason. I have to grieve that this is totally messed up and incoherent, and that is how I'm wired. It makes us both sad that we cannot experience something together because of my PTSD. Then, perhaps, we hope it will improve. But at least I've come clean about what's triggering me right now.
There is no real solution on this yet as it's a life-long pattern that has only grown worse on this front, and I don't know why or how to stop it.
That sense of helplessness to the trigger that seems to not get better with exposure is ADDING hugely to the stress cups. I have been unable to talk about it much until recently. I think it gets so damn frustrating to the Sufferer that it's hard to talk about it.
There is this huge fear that I'll talk about it and that will give it more power or my Supporter won't understand, and will keep doing it, which will magnify the trigger and retraumatize me further.
- Post starter
- #12
Thank you for sharing with me.
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