Relationship Military Girlfriends And Spouses

[Euphie333]

Me and my fiancé have been together 4 years now and before I met him I was a very confident strong willed person.

As soon as the first few months I started to cry more and more. I noticed my personality was beginning to change.

There would be times when he's sweet and cute and innocent and there would be times that I would get nothing but blind rage for the slightest reason.

What hurts most of all is the things that goes on when I let weakness and fear get the best of my emotions I am constantly told that I am the one to blame for my so called dramatic outburst. That no matter what I say to him I'm psychotic acting. That I'm the emotionally unstable and he doesn't keep his voice down to instill that into my face he is completely convinced when his anger shows that he has no problems.

I need to know that I'm not alone on this because if I don't have anyone to discuss this with I Will lose it.

I love him with all my heart. His true self is not the issue. He's a strong, brave, intelligent man but I hate this range inside him more than anything in the world!

I want to hear from other women who are dealing with the same thing spicificly being yelled at or talked down to when you are sobbing. I can't take it anymore without someone who doesn't make me believe that I'm not the only one.

Please comment and let's talk about dealing with your love one with severe war related PTSD.

 

[shimmerz]

That no matter what I say to him I'm psychotic acting. T

This is called crazy making. Good that you are seeing it. My suggestion? Get.out.as.soon.as.you.can. If he isn't taking any responsibility in this, this will end badly.

 

[Euphie333]

This is called crazy making. Good that you are seeing it. My suggestion? Get.out.as.soon.as.you.can....

And what experience made you come to this conclusion?

 

[shimmerz]

Too many to go into. It is no problem. It was a suggestion, not a hard and fast rule I put out. My apologies if I offended you. That was not my intention.

 

[Euphie333]

Well he went through war and I love him and support him I'm looking for ways to help him and make him better when I know he needs me the least I can do it suck it up find a way to handle it like discussing it with others who understand if I wanted to run away there were many times and many reason I could but I didn't I chose to stay because I want him to get back

 

[shimmerz]

make him better

You can't make him better.

 

[Euphie333]

Well thank you for knowing my life because since he met me his quality and outlook on life have changed tramaticly also his attempts to seek therapy have been in effect we are just now working on the last step to his and my recovery but you wouldn't know anything about this and I didn't come here to argue so I apriciate you for not discussing something you don't understand this post is for military dependeds only

 

[Ronin]

Euphie,

Perhaps you better consider the tone in which posters here make their remarks.

It's from hard life lessons earned in life, extended to new posters in kindness, wanting them to not make the same mistakes and end up in the same problems we've had to face, while there is yet enough time. It is no judgment on you or your relationship.

Trust me, if people here make a suggestion something is a toxic habit or sketchy about X type of described behavior, no matter who does it? It's because we DO understand the possible outcomes and situations Just Like Yours.

By the way, playing this military/non-military Only where abusive relationships are concerned is taking away possible very valuable input from allies from other paths of life. You're not helping yourself by refusing to even look at that advice, though it's understandable you'd do that.

(-A vet engaged to one, if that's of any matter.)

Or: Summed up: Some things are about abusive patterns of behavior and have very little in common with combat as a source of trauma. Abusive behavior is exclusive to abusers, not exclusive to veterans, and equating the two is inaccurate and frankly insulting culture.

 

[Euphie333]

I am not interested in discussing my issues with someone who is dealing with ptsd in any other way than military those people have completely different challenges I wound not Dare give any advice to a woman or man suffering from PTSD from rape or an a abussive family because I don't know ANYTHING about what they are going through and I would not DARE tell them that they can't fix a love one who has suffered or there love one

 

[Euphie333]

I am not interested in discussing my issues with someone who is dealing with ptsd in any other way tha...

The things that were said to me were extremely inappropriate and unhelpful

 

[Ronin]

While it's true and commendable to make a distinction about differing types of trauma presenting different set of challenges, you've misunderstood Shimmerz' post.

The note you can't fix a loved one isn't a judgment call. It's not about how loving your relationship to your sufferer is, or how much you're willing to work on things and educate yourself, et cetera. It's about the nature of PTSD. You cannot, objectively, fix PTSD for anyone. You can't cure them, there's no cure for PTSD. Assuming otherwise is setting yourself up for disappointment, and having hopes up for something that just isn't realistic expectation.

 

[Euphie333]

And may I ask what is Your connection with someone who has shell shock ? And what could you actually contribute to this conversation other than your NEED to argue and no it's not cureable I was told I couldn't "make him better" witch was a jump to conclusions accusation because his symptoms have decreased I have said what I'm going to say I don't waste my time on absolutely ridiculous conversations