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Childhood Dear "mom"....

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Depends on the dose. I got up to 1.2grams (er, yes, you read that right) per day on the ER but had to also take dexamphetamine to function. I'm down to 300ER a day now.

The ER peaks in your system at 6hrs, and comes as low as 50mg, which is so low that it would almost be a waste of time (but that's me!).

Something to think about. If I'm crippled with flashbacks, I down 50-100mg of the instant. 100 is enough to get me to sleep for awhile.

Handy to know about;)
 
@Ragdoll Circus yeah that last one is good info if you throw in what my therapist knows about but psychiatrist doesnt...though unsure what he's writing in that 3 inch thick file of mine & what they talk about as they do talk about patients, probably more about meds that would work for whatever and she suprised me today. She said "you have recently been doing great work with [my therapist] lately"...she had to pick my jaw off the floor. Cuz when i was panicking about the exhaustion, head in lap type that i now know is a mental thing & have to fight through it (another reason i dont wanna add a med that makes me tired) but had massive anxiety with it, something my therapist called "tired and wired" and he had recommended Latudia so i made an appointment with my psychatrist and when i said it she says "Latidua is for bipolar and you dont have bipolar"...no shit, really? And then she gives me addrall and that got flushed after a few months of red zone anxiety.

But then again today ahe asked me why i was asking for seriquil. Is that like a required question. "Ummmm, because [my therapist] said it would work for BPD emotional regulation". Like really? Im not just googling meds to ask for! I even told her that HE said its in the new DSM 5 for BPD...something YOU should know (being my psychristist).

Anyway, the thing i told my therapist that i didnt my psychitrist cuz im so not trying to go inpatient and i trust that if my therapist thought i needed to be i would be but anyway, i wake up a million times a night, i wake up running, hurt myself in my sleep, and recenrly started to sleep walk. I guess the one time i sleep walked to the grass outside, i was smart and used the back door that only has 1 lock as opposed to the front that has 3.

I waa trying to wedge myself under a bed i cant fit under, nof fully...dont know how i did it, i was asleep but i woke up stuck. Had to push on the moddle legs (its a king sized bed) til i got my butt out and fhe remainder was easier.

I wake up in my closet a lot. That i have done a lot and i dissociate and 'wake up' curled up in my closet.

Something to keep me on the damn recliner would be great! And to not hurt myself in my sleep a plus and i would LOVE to not run and hit my dresser or the wall (i had to angle the recliner so i didnt go straigjt through the window).

This IR is insane though, i dont know if its worth wasting a week of PTO or if i should just call tomorrow and make another appointment. The pharmaist assistant (when i didnt know if it was controled cuz they force me to mail order the non-controled ones after a few refill) she said it wasnt a controled med. Its gotta be or if its not it should be. That shit is insane!
 
Not sure any of this has hit me yet. Been waiting and waiting...BUT im at work, waiting for noon (when i start work), listening to a girl being all loud and not nice to a customer and im feeling myself like internally crawling in a corner, im actually sitting in my cube like moving my head & jumping like someone is yelling at me (sorta hard to explain)...like a kid would put there head down & move their head if they've been abused, like their about to get hit.

Im wondering if thats something. Wondering now how im gonna do with irrate customers today with that sorta reaction.

Now i know how people see me when i yell back at irrate customers.

My sup has a "mole" so every at night or weekends when the sups arent here i get "told on". Actually i think he has a few. 100% of our calls are recorded for that reason, can dial up any one at any time and the IVR tells the customer that.

Anyway, im the kind of person that says "forget my average handle time...and that im written up for it being too high...lets get it done for the customer" so i dont wanna go off on a customer anyway. But i dont wanna, or i cant shut down when they yell either. Id say about 60% or more of our customer base that call tech support are irrate and id say at least half of those or more are screaming and wont listen to reason.

Lets see how today goes... :nailbiting::bag:
 
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